It worked for me:

Since children model everything we do in the beginning, time must be invested to model ``play.'' With the child, plan what ``equipment'' is needed for a time to play. For example, building a safe place from the sun in the desert would require items such as boxes, cups and wrapping-paper tubes. While gathering these items, talk to her about the game and the items. Talk about as many things about the desert as you know: protection from the heat, pretty stars at night, and on and on.

Gradually, you will both be participating in the story and game rather than just creating it. The first time, you must continue the play until the usual interruptions (along with all the questions) have passed. You may be lucky and able to say, ``Continue until I come back.'' You must come back. But the more ``play frames'' you give the child, the more options you have when you suggest, ``Mom is busy with cleaning (or whatever) for 20 minutes. Why don't you explore the desert more, and later you can tell me what you saw.''

- Janice Manson of Mississauga, Ontario

My granddaughter is like this. I suggest the parents sit down during peaceful moments and talk straight to their daughter about the problem. She may be frightened by something somewhere and only feel comfortable being close to one special person. It sounds as if she simply needs that extra closeness to build her self-confidence.

-  A.P. of Rochester, N.Y.

Whenever my 3-year-old has any moments of quiet time by himself, I resist the urge to talk or play with him. This allows him to continue playing by himself. He knows I am there for him if he needs me. This gives him the self-confidence to do things by himself. I give him plenty of positive reinforcement for ``playing so well by himself'' after he is done.

Another way to encourage independence is to allow children to do things in their own time. I let him put on his own shoes and clothes, no matter how long it takes. If he needs help, I gently show him how to do it while letting him complete it by doing as much as he can. After each accomplished task, I give positive reinforcement.  -

Chris Schappert of St. Louis

From Jodie:

I agree with the other parents: At this age, children need to be shown how to play and what fun it can be. This is time-consuming, but it will pay off if you can teach her how to play games and how to enjoy them. As long as she knows you are still nearby and she can come to you with a question, she will begin to play more independently for longer time periods. One book recommendation: ``Help, I'm Bored,'' by Janine Lynn. There are cool things to do with your kids and fun choices for all seasons.