Q.  Since a large dog ran after our 3-year-old, she is afraid of them. How can we get her to get over this fear?

It worked for me:

A good place to start would be with just talking about dogs in general. Read books about nice dogs, look at pictures and stories about dogs doing good deeds such as rescuing people. Explain to your daughter that dogs can be fun, loyal and loving. The next step would be to introduce her to small dogs. It may be a good idea to use a puppy for this step. If you decide to use a small dog, make sure the dog is patient, good with children and does not bite. Don't push her into playing or patting the puppy/dog, but encourage and show her that it's OK to touch by petting the dog yourself. Once she becomes familiar with small breeds, introduce her to large dogs little by little. There are many breeds known for their patience such as the golden retriever, but your best bet is to try and introduce her to many different breeds. Try not to stereotype certain breeds of dogs. It is important to teach children to never approach strange dogs and how to recognize an angry, aggressive, nervous, or scared dog. 

- Morgan M. in Hamilton, Ontario

The situation sounds like an example of classical conditioning. The child has developed a conditioned response of fear to a large dog approaching her. Dogs have been associated with trauma from day one and sometimes, on a daily basis. An effective remedy in this situation would be for another child her age to model behavior that does not display fear when approached by a dog. This may take several sessions and positive reinforcement as the parent orally praises the child for good outcomes. It is usually very effective. 

- Mark. K. in Hyde Park, N.Y.

When this happened to my son, we arranged for him to visit our neighbor's dog that was very gentle. First things first: leave the situation alone for at least four weeks. During that time, allow her to read, sing and see movies on well-behaved dogs. Buy a stuffed dog that may even have the ability to bark quietly and even wag his tail (we bought ours at FAO Swartz). It may be mechanical, but it will still work wonders at building her courage. But, best of all, her sense of fun and love associated with dogs will increase at a phenomenal rate. 

- James T. in Nashville, TN

From Jodie:

I agree, let her take a break from animals for a while. During this time, begin with laying down some ground rules for your daughter. Talk pleasantly with her and don't make her feel "bad." Answer her questions calmly. Here are a few ideas: Large, small or medium, never run up to a dog. Do not try to pat, hug or kiss a stray dog or cat. If the owner is present, ask if the animal can be petted. If so, let it smell your hand first. Calmly reach for the top of the back. Say soothing words and don't talk loud or scream as this scares most animals. If the animal is eating, drinking or sleeping stay away. If there are two dogs, do not approach them. Even if they are friendly, they may be excited by each other and jump up. As your daughter gets older and develops better animal skills, she can experience more with different types of dogs and situations.