Learning obedience is an important part of child development.
This is the tool that allows you as parents to train your child. 
Through obedience your child will learn self-control and
develop other positive character traits that he will need
as an adult.

However, obedience cannot be forced upon the child. Parents who
simply command their children will foster resentment, which
will eventually lead to rebellion.  In fact, some researchers
feel that poor parenting techniques contribute to the development of
oppositional defiant disorder in some children.  Although you can
punish a child for not obeying, this will not foster any long-term
obedience.  When the child reaches his teen years and becomes
more independent, punishment will only serve to destroy the
already faltering parent child relationship.

Our goal then is not to force our children to obey us, but to get
them to want to obey us.  This willingness to obey will only come
about if the parent's commands are based upon seven principles.

1-Loving Concern for the Child

A child knows quickly whether a parent's demands are for the
sake of the child or for the personal convenience of the parent. 
If the parent's primary motive for giving orders is to make his
own life easier, then the child learns to place his own interests
first, also.  If you want to be successful in raising your child,
then your reason for giving orders must be for the benefit of your
child.  When your child senses that your demands are for his
sake, he will much more readily obey you.  He knows that it is
for his own good.  He will know that any demands made of him,
no matter how unpleasant, come from a genuine concern for
his welfare.

2-Sincere Respect for the Child

Parents must respect their children.  This is a concept that is not
well practiced by our society.  Western society focuses on
possessions.  Somehow in the back of many parents' minds
their children are counted among those possessions.  We
must remember that our children are not objects, but people. 
As people, they are deserving of respect.  We must remember
to give respect to our child to the same degree we would like
others to respect us.  

3-Patience

Very often our children do things that bother us.  This is usually
unintentional on their part and is just a reflection of their
immaturity.  However, if we show our children that we are
annoyed they will begin to resent us.  This resentment feeds
their desire to rebel against our wishes.  One of our goals as
parents must be to try to keep our negative emotions in check.

4-Speak Softly

Nothing gains a child's cooperation more than a gentle tone
of voice.  Speaking softly helps us to control our negative
emotions, especially anger.  A soft voice soothes and is more
likely to be met with cooperation.  It creates a relaxed
atmosphere and is reassuring to children.  

When we speak in a soft voice it also conveys strength.  We
show our children that we are in control of the situation
and not merely reacting to it.  If the only step you take is to
control the volume of your voice, particularly in stressful
situations, that alone will foster better child compliance. 
You will find that everything around you goes more
smoothly. 

5-Make Moderate Demands

No one likes having demands placed upon him.  Children are no
different.  Yet we are constantly commanding our children. 
We feel that as parents we must take steps to correct every
misdemeanor that we see.  When the orders become excessive
or arbitrary the parent becomes more like a dictator that
an educator.
     
If you place a lot of obligations on your child, then your child is
going to resent and resist your authority.  One of the most
important steps in getting your child to listen to you is to
reduce the amount of demands that you place upon him. 
This will require you to stay calm and overlook a lot of
childish behavior.  Commands should be made thoughtfully and
be within reasonable limits.  The general rule is that if a certain
behavior is not something your child will be doing as an adult
and if it is not dangerous, then you should not make it a
priority to correct.