Cry it Out or You Can't Spoil an Infant? - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of Old 06-15-2006, 09:06 PM - Thead Starter
Administrator
 
Elaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Happy in Ohio
Posts: 8,694
Likes Earned: 16
Likes Given: 2
What are your views on this? Should you do you believe an infant (under 1 year) can be spoiled and you should let them cry or do you believe that comfort and holding is the best medicine?

Elaine White

I'd love to be the ideal mother but I'm too busy raising my kids.

Haley Olivia 8-17-96 ~ Zachary Tyler 4-30-01 ~ Asher Mackenzie born an angel 2-26-03 ~ Brenna Grace 5-4-06
Elaine is offline  
#2 of Old 06-15-2006, 09:07 PM - Thead Starter
Administrator
 
Elaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Happy in Ohio
Posts: 8,694
Likes Earned: 16
Likes Given: 2
I personally can't let my child cry it out and I don't think that offering comfort to a fussy baby for any reason will spoil it. In my opinion the only time you should let a baby cry without trying everything you can to calm him is if you can't handle it and then the best thing to do is walk away for a little while.

Elaine White

I'd love to be the ideal mother but I'm too busy raising my kids.

Haley Olivia 8-17-96 ~ Zachary Tyler 4-30-01 ~ Asher Mackenzie born an angel 2-26-03 ~ Brenna Grace 5-4-06
Elaine is offline  
#3 of Old 06-15-2006, 09:12 PM
Addicted Member
 
DQKaren's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 11,911
Likes Earned: 12
Likes Given: 0
I can't let my babies cry it out either.

I totally agree with you on this one.
DQKaren is offline  
#4 of Old 06-15-2006, 09:58 PM
Special Member
 
AndreaB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,796
Likes Earned: 18
Likes Given: 1
I'm not sure on the concept of cry it out. I used to let logan fuss and cry for a maximum of ten minutes... never happened long, or often, but i think you are talking about crying it out until they calm themselves down?

if so i don't agree with it.

and you can't spoil a baby enough

can you tell which side i am on? i can't
AndreaB is offline  
#5 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:01 PM
Special Member
 
Shari's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6,845
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I don't think it's possible to spoil a baby.
Delaney is 21 months old and only now (depending on her cry) do I let her cry for a few minutes in her crib.
Shari is offline  
#6 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:04 PM
Addicted Member
 
BeccaSueBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Behind you, look!
Posts: 12,342
Likes Earned: 11
Likes Given: 0
I don't care what anyone says...you cannot spoil a baby! They need as much love and attention as you can give them and more.
BeccaSueBoo is offline  
#7 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:10 PM
Moderator
 
KimmerRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Funny Farm, Where life is beautiful all the time...
Posts: 10,471
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
Actually it's more detremental (sp?) to let an infant, cry it out. They are currently doing studies that are finding that infants that are left to "cry it out" actually CRY MORE than those who are cuddled and their needs are met right away. The theory is that the DELAYED time in meeting their needs cause them to be more fearful/less trusting, therefore they cry more.

I have to look for the study.... If I find it I will definitely post it.

I will CUDDLE and "SPOIL" my babies.... thank you!

Kim
DH Chris 8-6-94 **15 Years! **

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Warren Buffett
Mom to Lauren 10/26/04 & Ryan 4/6/06 MC 3/22/07 Comet (10-5-09... RIP Bubba) Visit me @ GENERAL HEALTH ISSUES &...
KimmerRN is offline  
#8 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:17 PM
Special Member
 
AutumnGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 7,977
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I don't think that there is any harm in letting them cry or fuss for a minute or two, provided you know that they're safe. However, any more than that can cause them to feel insecure. My babies will always be loved and cuddled (just not caudled/cawdled (sp?).
AutumnGirl is offline  
#9 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:18 PM
Special Member
 
melizerd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Land of summer lovin'
Posts: 1,331
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I think it depends on the exact age and type of cry. I'm sure I'll be able to tell the fussy cry from the I really need something cry. You shouldn't ever let the I really need something cry go unoticed.
melizerd is offline  
#10 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:19 PM
Addicted Member
 
BeccaSueBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Behind you, look!
Posts: 12,342
Likes Earned: 11
Likes Given: 0
Kim I've heard the same thing...when they're older it's a little different to me, but come on...a 2 month old baby shouldn't be expected to soothe itself!
BeccaSueBoo is offline  
#11 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:39 PM
Special Member
 
AndreaB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,796
Likes Earned: 18
Likes Given: 1
i look forward to reading the study!!

I tried to spoil and cawdel logan as much as possible, but he was happier if i just put him down

i know, i know, no matter what he was like i would want the opposite
AndreaB is offline  
#12 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:49 PM
Moderator
 
KimmerRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Funny Farm, Where life is beautiful all the time...
Posts: 10,471
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
Exactly, Becca! I'll look for that study...

Kim
DH Chris 8-6-94 **15 Years! **

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Warren Buffett
Mom to Lauren 10/26/04 & Ryan 4/6/06 MC 3/22/07 Comet (10-5-09... RIP Bubba) Visit me @ GENERAL HEALTH ISSUES &...
KimmerRN is offline  
#13 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:57 PM
Moderator
 
KimmerRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Funny Farm, Where life is beautiful all the time...
Posts: 10,471
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
I can't find the one I am looking for, but I did read this one before...

http://www.parents.com/parents/story...l&catref=prt19
Can You Spoil A Baby?
Your little one needs love and attention, but not smothering. Find out how to set limits -- gently.

Kim
DH Chris 8-6-94 **15 Years! **

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Warren Buffett
Mom to Lauren 10/26/04 & Ryan 4/6/06 MC 3/22/07 Comet (10-5-09... RIP Bubba) Visit me @ GENERAL HEALTH ISSUES &...
KimmerRN is offline  
#14 of Old 06-15-2006, 10:59 PM
Moderator
 
KimmerRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Funny Farm, Where life is beautiful all the time...
Posts: 10,471
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
This one was kind of interesting too. I'm so MAD I can't find the actual study I WANT!!

http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/arti...g/cfspoil.html

Kim
DH Chris 8-6-94 **15 Years! **

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Warren Buffett
Mom to Lauren 10/26/04 & Ryan 4/6/06 MC 3/22/07 Comet (10-5-09... RIP Bubba) Visit me @ GENERAL HEALTH ISSUES &...
KimmerRN is offline  
#15 of Old 06-19-2006, 08:27 PM
Newbie
 
doublet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Westward bound
Posts: 4
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I'm so relieved to see that the overwhelming majority of moms posting here do not prescribe to the "cry it out" method. I have no doubt a study has shown what most moms already know in their heart. EVERY mom I know who has tried to let thier baby cry without doing ANYTHING to try to make it better for them, suffered themselves every second, longing to respond in some way. It seems to me an urge that strong serves an evolutionary purpose in human survival. Human touch, comfort, and reassurance is as essential for our survival as food, shelter, sleep, etc.

Even if you let them "fuss" for a while, I think it's important to give reassurance that you are there, and that they are going to be ok. YAAAAAYYYY!!! for moms who follow their hearts instead of cutting off and disconnecting themselves.
doublet is offline  
#16 of Old 06-20-2006, 08:36 AM
Newbie
 
mum2bubba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 0
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I don't believe that babies (of any age) even children and toddler are spoilt if you hug them, I think if your baby is crying there is a reason and you should comfort them. The only time I don't pick Hayley up is if she is meant to be going to sleep, I wait about 5 minutes or so to see if she settles herself if she doesn't then I go and give her a quick cuddle, put her dummy in her mouth turn on her music and walk out.

If Hayley was just having a bit of a whinge because she was frustrated or something I would say to her "you're ok" and distract her, but I think that babies (especially very young ones) need their parents closeness (well I think ALL humans need to be hugged once in a while),
mum2bubba is offline  
#17 of Old 06-20-2006, 09:38 AM
Addicted Member
 
StevesSweetie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Wright City, MO
Posts: 14,422
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 1
I'm going to add a little humor to this post. When I read this I thought of Meet the Fockers. Jack uses the Ferberizing (spelling?) method...but the Fockers "fockerized" their son.

So it looks like the majority of you (and if I was a mother I would do this too) are "fockerizing" their babies. I can't stand to hear a baby cry when you know it really needs something. Now, when I've babysat in the past and put the baby down to sleep and it would fuss a little but I knew it was fighting sleep. If he/she didn't stop crying I would pick the baby up and try to rock him/her to sleep.
StevesSweetie is offline  
#18 of Old 06-20-2006, 10:22 AM
Special Member
 
MelanieTwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,910
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I don't believe you can spoil a baby either. I will let the twins fuss for about 5 mins and if they haven't settled go in and rock them to sleep. I have done the same with all 3. But I can't let them just cry-I go in right away and don't leave until they are settled.
MelanieTwo is offline  
#19 of Old 06-20-2006, 10:31 AM
Addicted Member
 
Stink_Momma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Testostorone Trail
Posts: 13,901
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
I tried it with Brandon when he would wake up every hour and need to be rocked back to sleep. It never got easier, evryday the crying got longer. It broke my heart and I finally stopped. One day he got sick, and slept hard and then he slept on his own. I didn't even try with Justin, but would rock him. He would stay asleep though. And thankfully with Ryan, it was never a question. He lays down awake and falls asleep on his own. It is a blessing.

I don't think you can spoil them. With Brandon, I felt so pressured to do everything the "right" way, I read all the books and thought they had to know better than me a first time mom did. But it was a horrible experience.
Stink_Momma is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off