This site was a big help. I could just post and get my feelings out without thinking I am starting to get on someone's nerves. If they didn't want to hear about it anymore, they had the easy choice not to read my posts. That gave me permission to talk about it as much as I felt I needed.
I also found strength in a friend who helped me keep busy, and amazingly, my husband was much more in pain than I thought. Knowing he suffered, too, and knowing he feels with me was a big revelation.