It's completly normal Amy
What you're going through, is a need to fill the hole that's there. Madeline was supposed to be brought home with you and you were expecting to have another child, planning for it, fantasizing about her and getting excited about her for months.
It's like when you crave for candy which you think is in your cupboard, so you go to get it and DH has eaten it. The crave doesn't just go. You don't just say, oh well, no problem. You get frustrated and
and if the shops are open you go and get some. If they're not open, you crave until it is.
Once you get the candy you're fine. You know it, but the car won't start and you have to wait and it's driving you
You'll feel much better next cycle when you can try again
Alot of women who are TTC and are having trouble know what you are going through. When I was TTC I heard the same broken record in my head. It consumed me to the point that I was driving everyone around me
Hang in there, it won't be long