6 year old son is afraid to use the school bathroom - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews
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#1 of Old 03-12-2009, 02:52 PM - Thead Starter
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My 6 year old son has never used a school bathroom. In pre-k and kindergarten he just held it since it was only half day, but now that he's in first grade he just can't hold it all day. He is SEVERELY afraid of the bathroom. Afraid that people will hear him, see him, know he's going, walk in on him... he's scared to flush the toilet.... the list goes on and on.

The teacher has been sending him to the nurses office so that it's private and there is a lock on the door (the bathroom in his classroom doesn't have a lock), but he still wont go unless I go down to the school and stay with him (which I just can't do every day - I have 3 kids and a very busy schedule)... plus he's old enough to not need me.

Anyway, I am just at a loss. We've been working at this for months and months and he still wont go. He hates pullups, but I've had to force them on him so that he doesn't have accidents from holding it. He's a smart kid and has lots of friends and does well in school...he's just afraid of the bathroom.

Any thoughts? I'm desperate. He's started seeing a psychologist about it, but she doesn't seem to be much help.

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#2 of Old 03-12-2009, 03:56 PM
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Has he told you WHY he's afraid of the bathroom? Did something scary happen to him in a bathroom when he was younger?
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#3 of Old 03-13-2009, 08:26 AM
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how long as he being seeing the psychologist? If he has been seeing her for a bit, it may be time to find another one. The first one we see may not always be "the one" that will help I hope that someone can get to the bottom of why he is so afraid
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#4 of Old 03-13-2009, 08:29 AM
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Brandon won't flush public toilets unless he knows they aren't loud. (And sometimes not even then.)

Several of my family members won't poop in public because of the others-knowing thing.

Sending him to the nurse's office isn't a long-time solution. Does your son have an IEP? Maybe a set of ear plugs for the noise. Does he sit to pee? Sometimes that's less noisey.
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#5 of Old 09-01-2009, 04:17 PM
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Poor kid, he must have had some bad experience in the past. Try talking to him and if you get a chance try to take that fear out by sending him to the toilet and you hiding, may be he may realize that it wasn't so hard after all.
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#6 of Old 08-26-2015, 09:30 PM
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Fear of school bathroom.

My sister and I are having the same problem with her grandson who is also 6. He just started 1st grade and will not go to the bathroom at school. He said that someone turned the light out on him. He is very much afraid of the dark. So he waits till after school to go. Usually wetting himself or peeing in the yard when he gets off the bus. We think alot of his fears stems from being abused by his mother's boyfriend when he was 3 and he tried to potty train him and ended up being to abusive. But we don't know how to get him through this. He sees a councelor twice a month for his past abuse. But this is new and we don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciative.
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#7 of Old 03-02-2016, 09:07 PM
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Firstly,try to know the reason behind his fear..
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