Okay I'm not the step-parent but my husband is. My daughter will be 5 in Jan and is becoming very trying. She challenges everything I tell her, and everything my husband tells her. I'm too much of a softy, probably because when I was growing up noone was ever really a softy w/ me and I don't want my daughter to feel alone or like her feelings don't matter. My husband who has been in my daughters life for three years now but we have only been living together as a family for one is very firm. Our extremes on parenting often make him seem like the bad guy which isn't fair. I just think he isn't really very sensitive and can come off kind of harsh sometimes. None the less, my daughter is turning into a complete handful at home, and a pretty big brat. I think it is because of me, because obviously she knows how to play me. Can anyone suggest a book, because I just don't know whats going to work with her anymore. She is absolutely exhausting at this point and I'm out of ideas. Spankings don't work, time outs don't work, I just don't know.