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#1 of Old 10-31-2009, 12:20 PM - Thead Starter
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Okay I'm not the step-parent but my husband is. My daughter will be 5 in Jan and is becoming very trying. She challenges everything I tell her, and everything my husband tells her. I'm too much of a softy, probably because when I was growing up noone was ever really a softy w/ me and I don't want my daughter to feel alone or like her feelings don't matter. My husband who has been in my daughters life for three years now but we have only been living together as a family for one is very firm. Our extremes on parenting often make him seem like the bad guy which isn't fair. I just think he isn't really very sensitive and can come off kind of harsh sometimes. None the less, my daughter is turning into a complete handful at home, and a pretty big brat. I think it is because of me, because obviously she knows how to play me. Can anyone suggest a book, because I just don't know whats going to work with her anymore. She is absolutely exhausting at this point and I'm out of ideas. Spankings don't work, time outs don't work, I just don't know.
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#2 of Old 10-31-2009, 02:23 PM
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Chad and I (who aren't living together yet) have been having these same conversations lately. We handle things very differently. He's tough ... even with his 3 yr old he's very matter of fact and "get over it" yet at the same time he's not much of a discipliner. I on the other hand tend to be doting and understanding of the whining yet when you do something wrong I rush to punish and scream. My way of handling things does NOT work. I tend to get walked all over OR end up in screaming matches that don't get the situation solved.

Elaine White

I'd love to be the ideal mother but I'm too busy raising my kids.

Haley Olivia 8-17-96 ~ Zachary Tyler 4-30-01 ~ Asher Mackenzie born an angel 2-26-03 ~ Brenna Grace 5-4-06
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#3 of Old 10-31-2009, 03:08 PM
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This is a video about parents who were abused and are trying hard not to become abusers. It's a pretty good video on finding new strategies to get kids to behave better without all the yelling and fighting: Primetime - ABC News

I hope this helps.
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#4 of Old 11-01-2009, 12:32 PM
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Take it from someone who was/is just like you. Be tough now (when you need to be) or she WILL give it back to as a tween/teen. She need to learn now that MOM is the boss and that you will most definitely follow thru on what you say - no matter what you said, good or bad. i am paying the price w/ my teen now & i am NOT making the same mistake w/ my 8yo, believe me! The best advice I can give you is be consistent and follow thru always! DO NOT GIVE IN TO THEM! You may have to search to find what works best - w/ my DD its being sent to her room ALONE (she hates it), but we just discovered that this year. Make a list of the rules (w/ pics if need be) so she knows what is expected at all times. She breaks the rules, there is a consequence. Wish I had done this w/ my son!

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mom to Ally (10) 4th Grade, Baby! WooHoo!

Parenthood:  That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.  ~Marcelene Cox  Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.  ~Marilyn Penland
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#5 of Old 03-10-2017, 06:48 PM
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oh, You may have to search to find what works best - w/ my DD its being sent to her room ALONE (she hates it), but we just discovered that this year. Make a list of the rules (w/ pics if need be) so she knows what is expected at all times. She breaks the rules, there is a consequence.
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