My baby won't play alone

Xenia · 03-16-2010, 05:16 AM

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum, so it's great to be here and I hope I can find some good advice

I have a five month old (almost six months), he's a wonderful baby and I've been really lucky since he doesn't cry too much and he sleeps okay during the night. And (obviously) he's the cutest and coolest baby that was ever born in the whoooole wide world

Now, jokes aside, I do have a concern for which I would love to hear some advice!
My son will not play on his own even for two minutes. I always always always have to be in his sight and he'll stay out of my arms only when I stand above him and play with him. If I leave him for two seconds, he will cry. He doesn't demand to be carried around much, but he wants to be sitting on my lap. Only then will he entretein himself. The pediatrician says that maybe we gave him the idea that it's not ok to be alone, and that we did that by always being in his sight. It could be, I am always with him. But I'm not in favor of letting babies cry, and I believe that a baby'c cries are a baby's needs, but I'm worried that my son might become too dependent on me! Is he too little to entretein himself with a toy for at least 10-15 minutes? And if not, how can I help him become a little more self-sufficient? Is there any way to do that without letting a baby cry it out?
Thanks and, again, great to be here!

**Elaine** · 03-16-2010, 06:29 AM

None of my children were very good at entertaining themselves until they got to an age that they could sit upright. I think it has something to do with being able to see their surroundings ... but it could be the Gerber Puffs they could start having around that age too.
Does your son sit in a bouncy seat or do you lay him on the floor?
I wouldn't be too concerned at this point ... I'm a strong believer in "you can't spoil a baby" ... but for your own sanity's sake, you will need to find something that keeps him entertained for more than a minute or two at a time.

Xenia · 03-16-2010, 06:55 AM

He sits either in his stroller or in a swing, but he isn't a fan of either. He'll chew on a toy for a little while, but only when and if I am in sight. And that doesn't last long either.
My hope is exactly what you said - that he might start playing by himself once he becomes able to sit up on his own.

*Grace* · 03-16-2010, 08:32 AM

At this point, I wouldn't worry too much. If he was two and wouldn't play on his own, then I would worry. He's still very young.

to Baby U!

PICKME4BB · 03-16-2010, 11:54 AM

I would do some testing with him:

try explaining to him that your going to put him down to play and walk away. As you're walking away reenforce him with your voice using inflection to encourage him that he's okay that you can hear him and will be right back. Start with short times away and when you return praise him for playing on his own and listening! Make it a daily game until he gets use to it. I also would use the voice inflection when walking away while clapping too so that my children could hear me clapping (also a distraction if they're crying) and saying things like, I'm right here and I'll be right there! You can use this as well when he's in the crib to get him use to the fact that you said you would be there and then wait a few seconds before running to him...to see how he reacts to that.

Rachel'sbabies · 08-11-2010, 03:10 PM

I had this problem with my nephew when I watched him. What I did was since we have an open floor plan sit him in a baby vibrating chair and strapped him in and then while I cleaned all around him talked to him for a few minutes and slowly got further and further away. He eventually got interested in the little toys above him and forgot all about me not being there. Yes after he did notice he started to cry and I reassured him I was here and redirected his attention back to the toys.

Marissa · 08-31-2010, 06:59 PM

We were worried at first with our son because of this exact same thing. I was told it was normal, but it was quite annoying at times. It actually got to the point where he didn't even want daddy, but he needed me to be sitting there, and no one else! Eventually he grew out of this after about eight months, and now he's quite an independent toddler. Similar to what Pickme said, when he started to get upset when I would walk away, I would use a voice inflection and tell him that he was okay and that I was still close.

jamison · 09-04-2010, 10:59 PM

I wouldn't worry about it too much to be honest. My son started playing by himself at around the time he learned to crawl. It's a lot easier for them to keep themselves entertained when they can move around by themselves without rolling. I figure it this way. Babies don't have companions other than Mom and Dad ad what siblings he has so pretty much we are their entire world. So I'm thinking that it isn't uncommon for them to want us to be near or play with them. My son is now a year old and he plays by himself for awhile but also likes to have someone to both entertain and keep him entertained as well.