“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” — Edgar W. Howe

“If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.” — Bette Davis

“Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.” — Bruce Lansky

“Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.” — Marcelene Cox

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.”
Bill Cosby.

“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.” Martin Mull.

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” — Milton Berle

“The American Dream is not to own your own home but to get your kids out of it.” — Dick Armey

“Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turing them into teenagers.” Eugene Bertin

“Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills – while you still know everything.” John Hinde

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.” – Peter De Vries

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

“Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.” – Author Unknown