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No more get togethers for this family

post #1 of 10
10/10/04 at 10:08am
Thread Starter 
Or I should say get togethers with my family and DH's family. Here's my story!

On Elizabeth's first birthday I noticed that my parents was about an hour late coming. Then on her second birthday...my mother wasn't talking to my MIL. Well, the reason my mom is giving my MIL a COLD shoulder is because when Elizabeth was a baby...I didn't give her anything except breastmilk for the first 5 1/2 months. My mom didn't like that at all. So she told my MIL that she would feed Elizabeth if she got the chance, but my mom went ahead and told me that she was just joking. But anyway...my MIL told me and Eric what she jokingly said.

My mom told me yesterday that she would never like my MIL ever again. I said well we all can't get together anymore because of this...my mom said that we could get together like for Elizabeth's birthday...my mom said she could sit right beside my MIL and not have anything to do with her...I said well I'm not going to have that so we will not ever get together.

Now when I say get together I am meaning more for Elizabeth's birthday and any other child's birthday or baby shower. It's not like we get together every weekend.

At this year's birthday party I felt a lot of tension in the air, but I thought it was just my hurt with my MIL and BIL, but it was also tension with my mom towards my MIL.

Bless you if you have read this...I just wanted to get it out somewhere.
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post #2 of 10
10/10/04 at 11:27am
No wonder you're angry. They're acting like children. Elizabeth is two years old now and your mom is still holding a grudge over something so small? It's a shame your mom can't put her differences with your MIL aside for your dd's sake.
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post #3 of 10
10/10/04 at 11:40am
Thread Starter 
Yep...that's what I have been thinking. No one can talk to my mom about anything. She acts like a child...like with this situation...I'm surprised that she hasn't said well I will never be around her, my MIL, again.

Then when my brother's wife was having their child...my brother didn't talk much to my mom so now she says that if they have another child then she wouldn't be at the hospital because my brother was rude to her. Get over it!!! Like DH said that my brother should have a little more to do with his wife's family because she was the one that could die from childbirth.

Anyway...I know I have my mom's gene's in me so now I have got to find a way not to be like her and for Elizabeth not to be like her. Because this is how my mom's mom acted also.

If we have another baby I would love to have a baby shower or something, but I will not put up with the tension and I want both families there so I gues I am S*** out of luck.
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post #4 of 10
10/10/04 at 11:52am
Not necessarily, Libby. Maybe your friends will throw you one. If anyone should be offended by that comment, it should be you. After all, you are the one who was being critized. I don't blame your MIL for telling you about that - especially since I am a big advocate of breastfeeding. Maybe she didn't think it was a joke. Truthfully, it wasn't a very nice joke. If only you could spank your parents or send them to their room when they are jerks.
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post #5 of 10
10/10/04 at 11:58am
Sometimes parents like children.
I am sorry that you are going through this with yours.

They should put feelings aside and realize that family is more important than petty differences.
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post #6 of 10
10/11/04 at 1:09pm
Libby I am so sorry. It is the grandchild here that should be important, not looking on thier feelings, how is their grandchild going to feel about them when they are older. I am sure you are really upset. Please parents think of others to or try too.
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post #7 of 10
10/11/04 at 1:28pm
I think your mom has some other jealousy issue with your MIL and it is not fair to you. It sux when we have to be the adults when they are acting like children
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post #8 of 10
10/11/04 at 2:03pm


I probably would have told my mom the comment was unappreciated and told her she wouldn't watch my children if she was going to feed them something different then breast milk.

Geez, it wasn't like you starved her! You gave her the BEST thing!
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post #9 of 10
10/11/04 at 2:13pm
Libby I am so sorry My mom is the same way she despises my MIL and my MIL is a GREAT person she holds grudges for everything she is mad at me right now because i only called her once last week.... I know it is tough but sometimes you just have to ignore them.... I told my mother in a converstaion a few months ago that she need to grow up and stop being childish call me if you need me !!!!!
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post #10 of 10
10/11/04 at 7:26pm
personally I do not see why other people have to comment if they don't like that you are choosing to bf your child?? It's not like it is anything to them? My dad did that too, but rhyne was just always so small he was worried about her. My mil was always jealous that rhy didn't want to go to her and so she'd always say, she only wants you because you're the only one who can feed her

I don't blame you for not getting together with both families.
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