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He wants me to give formula.

post #1 of 30
1/15/05 at 5:46pm
Thread Starter 
we were talking last night and he asked when can I give formula. I said whenever I feel like it. But I am trying to save $$ by not buying formula. So then he suggested I only BF for 6 months (since then she wil be on food) So then I told him she still would need formula or BM for another 6 months.

Why is it my family is rying to get me to stop BF? I think Kev just wants me back to himself. and my other relatives I haven't got a clue. MY SIL had the nerve to tell me that ther is no difference after the first few weeks of life so I might as well just go to formula now becasue there is no added benefit.

The only person who has been truely supportive is my dad (casue he just stays out of it) and my SFIL (who has stood up for me more than once)

Why can't people just mind their own business.

Just needed to vent out again.
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post #2 of 30
1/15/05 at 7:53pm
Didn't you say you got a pump? Ask him what's the difference in giving her pumped breastmilk...that way he can be involved...it's not like he's home all day anyways!
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post #3 of 30
1/15/05 at 8:03pm
Thread Starter 
yep got a pump. Its not her he wants to be involved with - it me. He wants to dump her off at a relatives place and go somewhere for the weekend.
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post #4 of 30
1/15/05 at 8:46pm
I am sorry you have negative family. I would tell them when you are good and ready you will give it up.

I am so proud of you... You are doing fantastic with her and the breastfeeding! Keep up great work!
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post #5 of 30
1/15/05 at 8:52pm
Thread Starter 
Thats basically been my opinion all along. I guess I'll just feel more confident after we go to our 2 month check up and we get a weight check. Shes pudgy so i know shes gainin!
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post #6 of 30
1/15/05 at 9:12pm
Especially with the last pictures you posted... KWIM! I love that chunkie little girl!


You are just like me with Trey and same excuse too. You are enjoying the feedings now hey? Bonding truely with her and wish you would have with lys? Be strong dont let them break you!
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post #7 of 30
1/15/05 at 9:16pm
Thread Starter 
Yes I really wish I would have done it with Lys!
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post #8 of 30
1/15/05 at 9:23pm
Hang on there~
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post #9 of 30
1/15/05 at 9:36pm
I think that is awful. He should be happy that you can breastfeed and give your daughter the best. Not to mention the money you save(he seems to fuss about money a lot). I'm sorry you don't get much support from your family. I think you are doing a great job, and shouldn't stop for anyone.
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post #10 of 30
1/15/05 at 10:57pm
Thread Starter 
Well I guess that my family doesn't see any benefit after like the first month.

I think thats probably one of the reasons I didn't BF Lys - I knew I'd get all this negitive andd no positive reinforcement. (I had just found BBU like 3 months before Lys was born) and had no idea what a support network you all were!

He's not going to "make" me stop - I think that he thinks that I could get some more free time if I bottle fed her (formula or whatever) cause I could drop her off by a relative.
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post #11 of 30
1/16/05 at 1:56am
I'm sorry. I don't know why your family can't support your decision.
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post #12 of 30
1/16/05 at 2:43am
you are doing so well!!

i kwym about the support system, i am just dying to try to breastfeed my next baby seeing as i have found this place!

it is your time, dont' let anyone talk you out of it!
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post #13 of 30
1/16/05 at 9:48am
Gosh you did not have her so she could be dropped off somewhere! Why can't you take her with you? You know it is for such a short time in your life that you will be breastfeeding. You have the rest of your lives to go somewhere for the weekend.

Don't give up Karen! Breastfeeding is so much easier! No bottles to deal with. And it is free! We support you all the way!!
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post #14 of 30
1/16/05 at 12:54pm
Thread Starter 
We discussed this last night and he said Whatever I want to do he will support me.
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post #15 of 30
1/16/05 at 1:12pm
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post #16 of 30
1/16/05 at 1:37pm
sorry everyone...especially Kev are being so unsupportive about the bfing...... him
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post #17 of 30
1/17/05 at 7:50am
That is great Karen that is he going to support you!
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post #18 of 30
1/17/05 at 9:31am
I'm glad he turned around. There is tons of medical evidence that breastfeeding really improves a child's health up through at least the first 2 years of life. It is so cold up there right now. I really don't understand why anyone would want you to reduce Kate's resistance to illness. They really don't seem to understand breastfeeding at all or be interested in learning. I'm so sorry, Karen. Breastfeeding is hard enough in our culture without nastiness from relatives.
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post #19 of 30
1/17/05 at 10:21am
I say screw them and breastfeed as long as you like, It;s good for her and is obviously going well, why would he want to mess with perfection???
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post #20 of 30
1/17/05 at 10:53am
Sorry you aren't being supported.
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post #21 of 30
1/17/05 at 11:45am
I breast-fed Brian for more than a year. Ben about the same. Trinity for about 6 months, but that was more because I went back to work and the pumping was just not getting enough....

Of course you can always pass along this little bit of trivia (I don't know how true it is, though)....

Michael Jordan's mother breastfed him for four years.
Michael Jackson's mother did not.
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post #22 of 30
1/18/05 at 1:23pm
I'm sorry that everyone is giving you a hard time. I'm glad to hear that Kevin said he'd support you... but it makes me angry that he's pressuring you to stop - even for a weekend.

I mean - I can understand it, but STILL! Like Meagan said - You are only going to breast feed for such a short time in the over all aspect of things.
Plus, even if you pumped enough milk for someone to give her a bottle all weekend, that would hinder your milk supply. It would through you both all off schedule!

Dan made similar comments to me and I just bluntly ignored him.


Good luck honey!!
I think you are doing a fantastic job!!
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post #23 of 30
1/18/05 at 1:38pm
Get your family brochures, articles, anything you can find on breastfeeding and pass it out the next time you see them. Hopefully they'll read it and learn about all the benefits of breastfeeding.

I personally think a lot of people are against breastfeeding not only because they are uneducated about it but because they are simply uncomfortable about seeing a woman's exposed breast. Breasts are seen as sexual objects in the US and while they are, they are also the best feeding tool we women have to feed our young. But that's not talked about, women are made to feel as if they need to run and hide in order to nurse and made to feel they are doing something wrong by nursing beyond a certain age.

I am proud to say Elizabeth nursed until she was 22 months old. She only stopped because I had a medical problem and couldn't nurse her for a few days, so she was weaned. It's true that she was mainly nursing for comfort at the end, but the milk she was getting was still beneficial to her. She would probably still be nursing now if we hadn't had to stop. And I miss that time with her.

Nurse as long as you want and can because it's wonderful bonding time for you and your daughter and it's benefiting you both in so many ways. I'm glad Kevin is going to support you and really hope that he stops worrying about his needs and wants and begins thinking more about his daughter's.
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post #24 of 30
1/18/05 at 4:52pm
Well, I am glad that Kev came around and will support you. I understand his need to have you to himself for a while, but he needs to realize that the kids have to come first. You guys will have plenty of time for weekends away when the kids are older.
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post #25 of 30
1/19/05 at 1:29pm
So how come he didn't want to go someplace for the weekend with you BEFORE Kaitlyn came along?
IIRC, he was always busy busy busy!

I wouldn't go until you were closer to wanting her to wean. You go off for a weekend and all she's got is a bottle, she won't want you when you get back!

Good luck, and if you want me to berate him for you, I will.

Luckily, my family is more surprised than unsupportive when they find out I'm still nursing.
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post #26 of 30
1/19/05 at 1:32pm
NEXT TIME I'll read ahead.

Putting my foot in my mouth would be so much more pleasant if my shoes were mint-flavored.

*sigh*
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post #27 of 30
1/19/05 at 1:41pm
Thread Starter 
Its ok. We have a gift certificate for a romantic night out that he got me Last christmas (03) and we never used it! (had to cost like $300) he gave it to his parents for christmas this year so it wouldn't go unused (i was in no mood to be romantic after I had Kate and i couldn't take her with us and I want to be successful BF )

He is open to whatever I wan to do /or go. we decided to wait til Summer/Spring to make a decision. I want to nurse the whole first year. (I am just taking it 3 months at a time - My original goal was to nurse for 3 months) I haven't told him that though. I just told him I am doing this. If he would help me out in other areas of the house I wouldn't be so tired when he came home and we could even have a romantic night here at home!
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post #28 of 30
1/19/05 at 3:46pm
It's hard to get them to connect *those* dots, Karen.

I work part time but I'm still supposed to do everything at home, too.

Whatever. :/
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post #29 of 30
1/19/05 at 5:01pm
Sorry everyone is giving you a hard time. How rotten of them. Next time ask them if they're jealous or something.

Sorry--that was evil.
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post #30 of 30
1/25/05 at 4:26pm
Please don't let anyone pressure you to stop breast feeding. There are numerous health advantages to breast feeding (just ask your pediatrician) as well as the advantage of convenience and cost. It is a great bonding opportunity for mother and child as well and they are only that little for such a short time. The year will fly by, belive me. Your husband seems a little jealous of your being able to breast feed your child. (hence pressure to stop breast feeding and go away with him for a weekend). My advice would be to help get your husband involved in other aspects of your child's care. Could he do bath time? Could he feed the solids when they are started if they haven't been already? Could you find time to spend alone with your husband more frequently? You are lucky to be able to breast feed your child and this is a very special time. Please try to stand your ground and do what you think is right for you and your child. As for the other relatives, ignore the pressure. It could come from jealousy, or just plain not knowing enough about breast feeding or even guilt that they made different choices.
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