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ALCOHOL WARNINGS

It's been proposed that the following warning signs be placed on bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible perils of drinking
a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a dead skunk.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to
assault you.

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bill.