BIL Update

Here is the latest on my BIL:
He and the "girlfriend" are still not living together, but they have been talking. On Wednesday, she had her ultrasound and she is having a girl. I shudder to think of BIL being the father of a girl because he has no respect for women. At any rate, things were looking up the middle of last week, as Chad (BIL) and Brandi (GF) were getting along. He had an interview with a good company for a great job, and it went well. He's waiting for them to call and set up the second interview.
Chad and Brandi were invited to my mom's birthday cookout on Saturday, but they didn't show up or call. It seems that they had an argument on the phone about an hour before they were to be here, so BIL got mad, took a bunch of Xanax and went to bed.
Later that day when I talked to him, he told me that he had to do that because all he could think about was how she had disrespected him and his family (WHO CARES! ) and that he wanted to go and put a bullet in her head and her mom's head, and he even said that it didn't matter to him that she was pregnant. I tried to reason with him and talk to him about how that would do nothing but ruin lives, including his, and he told me that if he did that he would kill himself, too. I told this to MIL, but she didn't seem to take it seriously. So today, I am going to email Brandi and urge her to back off from the situation.
Back to Chad, he kept going on and on, as he always does about how he LOVES his family and how he wanted to be with us, etc, so I told him to come to church on Sunday morning. Well, surprisingly, he did. It was a good sermon, one that he really needed to hear, where our pastor talked about how you have to clean up your act (your character and your conduct) in order to have a full life. I introduced Chad to a guy at church who is well-connected in the business that Chad works in (when he is working), and when we left, Chad was having a pow-wow with our minister. We think this is good because our minister is young, and he lays it on the line. He is very honest about his past (which was very wild) and about the fact that he is not perfect even now. He is not pious at all, which is refreshing, but he also doesn't sugar coat things, and Chad needs all of that. I do know that Pastor Jeff told Chad that he thought Chad was looking for the perfect life and that there is no such thing, that every family struggles, every couple struggles with problems and challenges, and that life is not easy and no relationship is perfect. I am glad he told Chad that. The guy that is well-connected in Chad's field told Chad to call him today and he would help him with job leads, and Pastor Jeff is going to call him for more counseling today. Hopefully this is the start of him getting on the right track. I hope!

I do too. It has taken Chad YEARS to get to this point, and I think it will be a long process and lots of hard work for him to get to where he needs to be, but hopefully this time he will stick with it and realize that there is no panacea out there--that one can have a good life, but it is never without challenges, that the key is sticking with it and working through the rough spots. We'll see. He is rather immature and quite weak, and he has a lot to learn and accept to get to that point.