BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Trying To Conceive › General TTC Discussion › When to quit TTC
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

When to quit TTC

post #1 of 21
6/23/05 at 2:16am
Thread Starter 
When did you decide to quit ttc, because it was hopeless? I've been ttc for over a year now. I'll be 40 in a few months. Maybe I'm just in a blue mood, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's meant to be. My drs act like I have forever, but to me, at 39 years old, my ttc time seems very limited. I don't want to go into the major risk for down's syndrome zone. I don't think I could handle a down's syndrome child when my dh and I have chronic diseases ourselves.
Reply
post #2 of 21
6/23/05 at 8:42am
I am sorry I don't have an answer for you
Reply
post #3 of 21
6/23/05 at 9:14am
I would not give up just yet Lenora!
Reply
post #4 of 21
6/23/05 at 9:38am
Reply
post #5 of 21
6/23/05 at 11:00am
I wouldn't give up. A friend of mine had her first child at 41 and she is healthy in every way.
Reply
post #6 of 21
6/24/05 at 12:28pm
Sorry Lenora, I'm no help what so ever, to have a new born at 40 is my personal nightmare.

I'm sorry that you haven't got another child to love, and I'm sorry that a child is missing out on such wonderful parents
Reply
post #7 of 21
6/24/05 at 7:49pm
Still trying and hoping here.. and I'm 42 !
Reply
post #8 of 21
6/24/05 at 8:02pm
Hang in there Lenora!!
Reply
post #9 of 21
6/24/05 at 9:22pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks! It took such a long time to get pregnant with my daughter and now we've been ttc again for another year with no results.
Reply
post #10 of 21
6/29/05 at 1:16am
Lenora,

At age 39 we tried again and I became pregnant 2 weeks shy of my 40th birthday. Being a diabetic, does not make being pregnant easy and I know the odds but I took a chance and I telling you that it is never too late...
Reply
post #11 of 21
6/29/05 at 10:57am
How long did it take you to get pregnant with Kate?
Reply
post #12 of 21
6/30/05 at 8:28am

Re: When to quit TTC

Quote:
Originally posted by Grace
When did you decide to quit ttc, because it was hopeless? I've been ttc for over a year now. I'll be 40 in a few months. Maybe I'm just in a blue mood, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's meant to be. My drs act like I have forever, but to me, at 39 years old, my ttc time seems very limited. I don't want to go into the major risk for down's syndrome zone. I don't think I could handle a down's syndrome child when my dh and I have chronic diseases ourselves.
Dearest Grace, please don't be mad at my reply, as I do not know your complete circumstances but as you and your dh have "chronic diseases", do you think you could handle a child without down's syndrome any better than a child with down's syndrome?

I do not mean to be unkind, but ANY child is more than a handful, I know, I have 3 of my own and, although I can look back and laugh now, at the time, when they were babies and toddlers, I used to be at my wits' end!

I wish you well, whatever you decide
Reply
post #13 of 21
6/30/05 at 9:59am
only a year isn't very long to try for!
Reply
post #14 of 21
6/30/05 at 10:06am
Thread Starter 
It took about a year to get pregnant with Kate.

When you have a chronic disease, you have to decide is it going to stop you from doing the things you want to do and living the life you want to live? Or are you going to modify and adjust, but still live your life on your own terms? I've given up enough for this disease, I'm not giving up anymore. I don't think I could handle a down's syndrome child 100% healthy and 21 years old. It's not childhood that is the problem. My cousin Judy (a distant cousin) has down's rather badly. She is a permant two year old. I'm sure her parents had no problems caring for her as a child, but as a nearly 6 ft tall 160lb woman throwing the same tantrums a two year old throws - well, that was rough. Her parents were in their 40s when she was born. They were my great aunt and uncle. When I knew them, here they were in their 80s trying to care for a supersized 2 year old. And that is what really concerns me.
Reply
post #15 of 21
6/30/05 at 10:27am
Thread Starter 
Let me say, that I know terrible things can happen to any child where a parent might consider permant institutional care. B was born a perfectly normal boy and lived a normal life until he was 10 years old. He was riding his bike, when he was hit by a drunk driver who never did jail time and had a long DWI arrest record. The accident left him severly brain damaged and partially paralyzed. My friend Rose, who eventually adopted him, cared for him for many years before in her home. Unlike Judy, B matured sexually and was quite unpleasant to be around, because he sexually mauled every woman he saw. He had no normal amount of restraint at all. Finally, a group of her friends (me included) sat her down and told her something had to be done or she was not welcome to bring him to our church gatherings. I just don't know if I could handle that.
Reply
post #16 of 21
6/30/05 at 10:34am
Thread Starter 
Here's the saddest thing about B. I knew him about 20 years ago when he was about 15. If there were helmet laws and helmets for children riding bikes then, B would probably be a lot better off today. Please everyone - make your child wear a helmet when riding their bike. I'm sure B's mother didn't forsee this happening to him either.
Reply
post #17 of 21
6/30/05 at 10:37am
I dont know what to tell you. As I sit and decide if I want anymore - I take into consideration My age as the child grows up. At 30 - I would be just about 50 when the kid graduates.

Personally I dont want any kids after like 35 (I preferrablly would like to be done by 30ish) I want to be able to enjoy my kids and possibally any grandkids before I get too old.
Reply
post #18 of 21
7/27/05 at 3:44am
dont give up! I know it can be very frustarating, but talk to a friend, doctor etc. If you want a baby that bad, you keep trying! good luck!
Celeste
Reply
post #19 of 21
7/27/05 at 8:32am
I wouldn't give up. If it is meant to be, it will happen. 40 is by no means "old" and their are women having children in their 40's all over. Wishing you luck!
Reply
post #20 of 21
7/27/05 at 12:03pm
Reply
post #21 of 21
7/27/05 at 12:40pm
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: General TTC Discussion
BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Trying To Conceive › General TTC Discussion › When to quit TTC