Well, I guess the $#!+ really did hit the fan

Well, I know that last Wednesday when I got home, DH was not in a good mood and was kind of short with me. He did tell me that he and his parents had a rather long and heated discussion. (how we keep house, what we do with the kid, etc.) I think I posted about it last week. But I didn’t realize how bad it was until this morning.

We dropped Jonathan off at Deb’s and we were headed to my work. There is a roofing company on the way there (they make shingles). They had a ton out in front of the building waiting to be shipped. DH was trying to joke around and asked “Want some shingles?” I told him sure, but we’d need gutters to go with it and then we’d still probably be told that we didn’t do it right. I just laughed. DH said, “Well, that’s not gonna happen again.” I asked him why? He didn’t say anything. I asked him if he planned to just stop doing anything else around there at all. He just said “Well, you were at work, so you missed it. But it won’t happen again. I put a stop to all that.” I asked him what he meant and he said that things got pretty heated while I was at work and they had their little discussion last week. I missed the big fight. I still don’t know what happened, but apparently, they had a big blowup/yelling match and I don’t think they’ll be bothering us with any more complaints any time soon.

I’m still a little anxious to find out exactly what was said. But then again, if I really knew, I might not ever want to talk to my inlaws again.

I asked DH last week if they ever decided on a price for selling the house. Maybe if we went ahead and bought it, they'd leave us alone. He told me that he didn't want the house. (It had been discussed that we'd buy it as soon as he had a job and was making money again--owner finance until we could get our credit back up and get a bank loan.) No matter who owned it or what they did, it wouldn't be good enough for his parents because it wouldn't be THEM doing it. No matter how you decorate, his mom won't like it because it's not her taste. No matter how many repairs you do around there, they won't like it because it's not the way they would have fixed it (No, you'd have just let it go and stay broken!) Whether we own it or they own it, they'll still think of it as their house and nothing will ever be the way they want it. So, he really doesn't want to buy it.

I asked him if we needed to start looking for another place. He said no. We would live there as long as we could. As soon as we're able, we'll take on more of the house payment, etc. and that will get them off our backs a little more.

I told him this morning that I was just plain confused... What did they expect us to do while we were living there (especially when DH hsn't had income for a year)? We can't redo every room, keep completely on top of everything all the time, and also live the lifestyle that we live. And on my salary (which they're getting almost half of for rent), how can they expect us to do all these major things that need to be done. It's not our responsibility. They're the ones that let the house get in this shape. They're the ones that begged us to move in there. Everything they've asked us to do, we've done. Everything they've asked us to pay, we've paid. And then they gripe about the paint color, the way we trimmed the tree, the way the locks were hung on the door (those locks were there before THEY ever moved in), how much laundry we have, the way we store things in the garage....

I think we're just gonna have to sit down and have a talk tonight about what all was said. I know they didn't like the way the house was kept. and I know they told him that the kid was up at 2AM playing in his room while I was sleeping and "not watching him"--Hmmm... funny... at 12:30 when I went to bed, he was in THEIR room. they found food in the kid's room (not sure if this was cheetos, hot dog, dry cereal, or what--It's not like we feed him 3 meals a day in his room. If he takes cheetos in there while he's watching TV, it's not a big deal to me). Just stupid stuff like that. I'm sure I'll be ticked off for a while, because I know they lit into him pretty bad, and I've got a feeling I got blamed for a lot of stuff he just won't tell me about, whether they be legitimate complaints or not. But there are certain things that we shouldn't be responsible for. And the fact that they won't take DH's word for anything or trust him to do simple things (like hanging new light fixtures, etc.) just infuriates me. I don't understand what they expected us to do. Move in, pay rent so they don't have to make 2 entire house payments. That's all they wanted. We volunteered to do the kitchen. They saw the pictures and said they loved it. They got there and said they didn't like it. The only positive thing MIL said was she was glad we cleaned the hole out. (The hillside out back that looked like a jungle--which is now a nice little arbor area.) I just don't get it. I will never understand them. They seemed so normal before I married into this family.

Arghhhh....


Oh well... At least I don't have to deal with them until at least the holidays.

The house itself is really OK, structurally. But it was built in the 50's. The wiring is old, and the electrical outlets in most of the rooms are 2-prong with no ground receptacle. So, we can only use 3-prong plug appliances in certain places (DH just replaced all the ones in the kitchen). The windows are original to the house. They are the crank-out kind (jellesy/jealousy/whatever). They could really use replacing. It's not an immediate concern, but they are not very attractive and in the winter they're not as efficient as they could be. The flood light out back doesn't work. Didn't work the entire 10 years they were in the house. DH pulled the switch out and has been testing it. We have a light fixture, we just have to find out why the electric isn't getting form the switch to the fixture. It's just gonna take some time to do. The doors are original to the house. They're old and could use replacing. They work, but they're showing wear. the gutters are not in the greatest shape. They still work, but FIL wasn't the greatest about trimming trees, etc. So, they have brushed up against the house in some places and loosened the gutter some. DH said in the fall, he will fix all that. you just have to get up on top of the house to do and it, and he doesnt want to be on top of the hot roof in the summer. Don't blame him. The cabinets in the kitchen are original to the house. I don't like them, but they work, and we've dealt with them. That's why we painted in there. We replaced the appliances in the kitchen (of course, they are ours and will go with us if/when we leave, too). But I'm not going to do something major like fixing the HVAC unit or replacing the windows or roofing the house unless they plan on selling us the house. I'm not putting $$$$ into it if they're gonna sell it to someone else. And I know that they're not planning on coming back to OH and moving into it again. The house is not in bad shape, but there are everyday things that should have been taken care of over the last 10 years that just haven't been (replacing doorknobs that lost their screws, replacing missing window screens, new fixtures, etc.) that just got neglected because FIL didn't know how and MIL didn't want to spend the money to have someone else do it. It's a nice house, and I like it, but they've just done everything half-@$$ around there instead of fixing it right the first time, and after 12 years, it's starting to show. It's minor stuff that we CAN take care of. We just can't do it all at once for both time and money reasons. We're trying to fix things, and it's not their style. The problem is that they're not living there. If we paint pawprints on Jonathan's wall, it's because he wants them there. We'll paint over it and make it look nice and plain when we leave. I don't know if they think we're gonna trash the place, or what... I have to admit, there was a ton of laundry that needed to be done, and there probably was crap under Jonathan's bed. But I'm not in the habit of cleaning out from under the beds on a daily basis. They've forgotten what it's like to have a 3 year old. They've forgotten what it's like to be on the go all the time. They've forgotten what it's like to be broke. And it just irritates me. Kind of like they expect us to have the money to fly to see them whenever THEY want us to. We just don't, and they don't understand why.

Seriously... I think their perception of reality is warped.