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The right thing, part 2

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Well, BIL was served yesterday (Wednesday) with the papers for the temp protective order. Attached to those were emails that passed between the ex girlfriend and me. MIL called last night and we talked about it briefly, she knows that I told the ex GF to tell the judge that BIL is a convicted felon with guns in his house. According to BIL, there are 25 pages of emails attached to the paperwork. According to the ex GF she only printed out two emails and because they had older ones attached, it amounted to about 9 pages. I don't know what to think or do or believe. My name was only supposed to be brought in if they went to court and she needed a witness since BIL did tell me on he phone once that he was going to kill the ex GF and her mom.
This afternoon, BIL is taking all the paperwork and my emails to MIL to read. He is a big fat baby and cannot handle anything on his own. He will be 35 on Sept 4 and he runs to his mom with everything.
So, all I can do is sit and wait and see what her reaction is. I will stand by all I told the ex because it's all true. I don't want my relationship with MIL to be affected by this, but blood is thicker than water, and I know she will probably stick by BIL even though he did wrong and ultimately I did this to protect his son and unborn daughter. We'll see what happens.
The ex is supposed to email MIL today and just tell her how scared she has been of BIL and how many times he has threatened her and her family over the past few months and try to explain to her that none of this was done (the TPO or my helping her) out of spite, but it was done out of trying to protect herself and her family and children. BIL has convinced MIL that the ex is vindictive and tries to hurt him, etc. I don't buy that. She has never once gone after him for child support and their son is four years old. I could go on and on. Y'all just please pray that this works out okay and that MIL doesn't hate me. Please pray and send positive vibes my way. Thanks!
post #2 of 10
Oh I'm so sorry! Hopefully she'll see that you did something that was very difficult, but right considering the circumstances. Just ask her how she'd live with herself if something happened to her grandchildren???
post #3 of 10
What a sticky situation - I am sorry you were involved in all this. I can completely understand your reasoning for the emails and advice to the ex. When there are children involved, we sometimes have to do things we wouldn't normally do in the interest of the babies. If your MIL cannot understand this, then she has just as many issues as the BIL! I would just lay low for now and see how it pans out.
post #4 of 10
Thread Starter 
I agree completely about the kids, etc. And I know I could not have lived with myself if he did snap and do something to the ex or the kids. You hear about sort of thing all the time, the estranged husband or ex boyfriend will kill the ex girlfriend, their kids, and himself. It just happened last summer here in GA where a guy went to his ex GF's parents house, killed them, her sister, and his and his ex's baby daughter. Then he kidnapped their other two kids, and when the cops caught up with him, he shot himself, but he lived and is now awaiting trial. It is not uncommon, but I just think MIL doesn't really believe that he would actually do anything, but you know, how can any of us be sure? When I was pregnant with Emily, he got mad, and went bezerk--he was living in Kyle's deceased grandparents' house--and he destroyed the house--ripped pictures and shelves off the walls, tore a recliner to pieces with his bare hands, etc. Just imagine if someone had been there with him--the ex or their son?
post #5 of 10
I'm sorry that your name was brought into all of this...I hope everything turns out ok...maybe MIL will not blame you...you were just trying to help your family.
post #6 of 10
I'm sure you're probably justifying it to yourself over and over, but honestly, I don't think there's a person that doesn't feel you did the right thing (except maybe the MIL) I'd have to tell the woman that her son obviously needs help and if she's not going to help him get it, then he's going to end up in jail eventually. You can only hope it's not for murder!
post #7 of 10
I agree with Dawn, Tammy, you did the right thing.

Did you hear from MIL yet? I really think you did a great thing and don't look back, look it square in the face and I am sorry if MIL is upset with you, I hate that part to but look at it this way, you are saving lives, she will be sad if it does happen. You know what I mean.

for you.
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thanks, Annie, you are so sweet. I really appreciate your support.
post #9 of 10
You did the right thing. It's in the news everyday how some psycho guy killed his pregnant partner. First off, he sounds like a drug user. Sorry, to be blunt there, but I have heard of drug users behaving violently exactly like that. Of course, he could just be mean and crazy. Second, if your MIL hates you or doesn't talk to you in awhile, she'll get over it or she won't. And if she doesn't what does that say about her that she does not want to protect a fellow woman and her grandchildren? I'm sorry you're dh's brother is such a terminal It must be tough for your dh to have a brother like that when he is not like that at all.
post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
Lenora, I love the way you described it, so true--terminal Best description I have heard for him!
Chad was on street drugs for many years and still has a drinking problem. I don't know if he is doing street drugs or not, but more recently he was very intimately involved with Xanax for a long time, if you know what I mean!
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