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Ever have someone in the family tell you....

post #1 of 11
10/10/05 at 4:13pm
Thread Starter 
do not cook right, clean right, or take care of your children right?
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post #2 of 11
10/10/05 at 4:21pm
My ex-inlaws use to tell me that all the time and I always felt like crap and like I would never be good enough. That's why sometimes, even now, I have a hard time with certain things. Like letting people come in my house, cooking for others (which I don't ever do), etc.

It's funny, my ex-mil once told me that I had filled the sink too full to do dishes correctly and then she proceeded to empty out a bunch of the water and did the dishes herself. Now, sometimes when I do the dishes, I remember what she said and know that if she was here watching me do the dishes, she would again, think that I was doing it wrong. And this happened over 20 years ago. It's funny how certain things stick in your brain and pop up at certain times.
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post #3 of 11
10/10/05 at 4:37pm
Of course! Do I listen to them? Now, that's another story.
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post #4 of 11
10/10/05 at 5:02pm
H*LL no! Not to my face anyway. I think most people in my family know that I am very strong-willed and do things my way. I know my mom talks about my parenting behind my back to my sister and to my MIL and it gets back to me, but coming from her, I don't even care. She was definitely not a good mom, so I figure she can criticize me all she wants because she has no clue. And she doesn't have the nerve to say it to me.
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post #5 of 11
10/10/05 at 5:12pm
Not to my face, but things have been implied. I just ignore it. Most of the time it isn't worth the time and effort it would take to respond. I know I'm not the world's best housekeeper, but my kids are loved, clean, fed and have a roof over their heads. So the rest of the world can just kiss my butt!
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post #6 of 11
10/10/05 at 6:42pm
Thread Starter 
To my face always. Never was there a day it came around the bush. I do not know which way I rather have it. Phyll those days are over now. You are doing just great, no one should tell you different.
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post #7 of 11
10/10/05 at 6:42pm
My MIL used to do that all the time.
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post #8 of 11
10/10/05 at 8:52pm
Thanks Annie.

Actually, that's why my first husband left me. Because I wasn't a good enough housekeeper, cook, or laundry person - like his mom was. She was the type that served three big meals a day from scratch, kind of the old fashioned type - and I just couldn't compete with her. I was brought up in a family that the parents were a team - they worked together to get done what needed to get done. It didn't matter who did it. My ex's dad never stepped foot in the kitchen and yet expected his wife and daughters to help chop wood or work on cars if needed.

It took me a long time to get over the mental crap that they laid on me. For the longest time I would joke about what I asked God for in my next husband - a Christian with a beard that could and would cook. And it's funny, because that's exactly what I got.

And I realized that I am not my clean or dirty house or the food that I put on my table. I am the mom that makes mistakes but loves my kids to the best of my ability, the wife that makes mistakes but loves my husband to the best of my ability, and most importantly, I am a child of God that loves me just as I am and thinks that I am precious, and that's all that matters to me!
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post #9 of 11
10/10/05 at 9:07pm
Phyll, I love your answer.

And in answer to the question - No - All of them know I would toss them out on their a....er, ear in a heartbeat. What they say behind my back - eh, I could care less.
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post #10 of 11
10/10/05 at 9:43pm
They have never come out and said it to my face but they make snide comments and I've walked up behind them and heard them talking about me.

But, I gave up caring what they think along time ago. (I'm talking inlaws)
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post #11 of 11
10/11/05 at 11:19am
My mom will make comments, but I tell her that my health comes first...if I am tired...I rest. The house can wait. My house isn't dirty...I do clean, but she always comes when there are dirty dishes in the sink.

Anyone can talk about me all they want...I don't care.
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