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Do parents come first before you do?

post #1 of 17
11/14/05 at 7:41pm
Thread Starter 
Okay I know there are some of us out there that your DH still thinks his parents come first and then you? Are you one of those people?
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post #2 of 17
11/14/05 at 7:53pm
No not really. I think his stores come first. and lately his addiction to gambling and then us. But not his parents. DEFINILTY not his dad.
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post #3 of 17
11/14/05 at 8:17pm
nope we come first, then his mom. he is seeing her as she is now that she lives so far away... I on the other hand try to make as much time as possible when we do get to see her

strange how that works
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post #4 of 17
11/14/05 at 8:41pm
Nope, we come first with each other, then our kids, then our parents. Our siblings really don't even enter the equation.
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post #5 of 17
11/14/05 at 8:58pm
No, that's why I got divorced the first time.
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post #6 of 17
11/14/05 at 9:05pm
Yes

Maybe that is why I'm looking for a great attorney!! Maybe .. maybe not.
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post #7 of 17
11/14/05 at 10:08pm
Thread Starter 
Karen I am sorry about Kevin. I know about the gambling one. You need to vent I will be there. Roxanna sorry hun.
For the longest time Jimmy had the problem of Mom comes first then me then his dad. Later things got better then of course things got worse here so back to Mom and Dad again.
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post #8 of 17
11/14/05 at 10:12pm
Nope.
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post #9 of 17
11/14/05 at 11:03pm
No way! I know I'm his number one priority, no questions. He knows he's my number one priority too.
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post #10 of 17
11/14/05 at 11:07pm
For the longest time - Dan's mother always came first.
UNTIL we had kids... and it slowly started to change.

If it was a contest between her and I - he'd pick her.
However, I have the kids... and the kids rate over her. So... I've been "winning" lately by default.
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post #11 of 17
11/14/05 at 11:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shari
I've been "winning" lately by default.


Nope, Mike is good about where his loyalties lie. Even when his sister and I were going through a rough patch (understaement) he stuck by me. I am thankful to have a really great family and really great inlaws. I have come to appreciate my inlaws more since I've had kids. I see how much they love my kids and that makes me love them.
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post #12 of 17
11/15/05 at 9:38am
No! Years ago when we first got married, there was a lot of tension between MIL and me because Kyle's mom and her mother (his Nannie) didn't want us to get married. Before Nannie died, she decided she liked me and everything was fine with us, but Kyle's mom still didn't like me. She would do things like ask Kyle to go on trips with them when it was our anniversary (I was in college and couldn't go) and DH would always say no. Finally, we had a big blow up argument (MIL and BIL got into it with me) and we didnt speak to DH's family for about six months. Finally I went and saw MIL at her job and told her I had been trying to get DH to call her and he wouldn't and that one of them had to give in. So, Donna called Kyle, and they went to lunch. He basically laid it all on the line for her and told her that I was #1 from here on out, that we were happy, etc. She told him all her issues with me, half of which were not even true! They were things that Kyle said or did that she thought I had made him do. (That cracked me up, as if I controlled him!) One thing I did do that she liked was come by her work and urge her to patch things up with Kyle. She realized that I didn't totally have it out for his family since I was the one trying to repair things. So, gradually from that point on, things got better. Thank goodness. So, no, they don't come first and they know it.
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post #13 of 17
11/15/05 at 9:41am
Abby, I agree with you there. Having Emily has really brought me closer to Kyle's parents.
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post #14 of 17
11/15/05 at 10:43am
This will sound strange, but I try to put his parents ahead of me. They are getting up in years, and I will ALWAYS choose them over me, when it comes to his time. There isn't much time left, for them, and with us so far away, any time he gets with them is going to be precious. He will have years with us, but only a couple of more (if that) with them.
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post #15 of 17
11/15/05 at 12:52pm
Thread Starter 
Judy that does not sound strange to me at all. Understand. Jimmy's Dad is up in years and has been sick off and on so I know what you mean.
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post #16 of 17
11/15/05 at 1:34pm
Lately the kids and I come before anyone else... I would put his parents before me if they were sick and he knows that!!
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post #17 of 17
11/15/05 at 1:38pm
No. Maybe before his sister died, but he really doesn't have that great of a relationship with them anymore.
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