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Need advice

post #1 of 10
12/12/05 at 3:15am
Thread Starter 
I hope I don't offend anyone but I need some advice. I am pregnant with my second and I need advice on how to tell my sister who is dealing with infertility. I don't want her to feel like we are rubbing it in or we got pregnant inspite of her. She has been ttc for almost 2 years and is waiting for financialy means to have IVF done. I feel guilty for getting pregnant when she is struggling to get pregnant. I had infertility with my first but I'm still not sure how to break it to her without too much heartache.
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post #2 of 10
12/12/05 at 3:40am
no matter what she will be hurt, i dont' know if there is any way to tell her without that happening. I hope she comes up with the money for IVF soon

i bet she won't show her hurt... is there any way you can get christian to tell her? that he is going to be a big brother?
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post #3 of 10
12/12/05 at 4:40am
I would just tell her straight out. It's going to hurt no matter what, but dishonesty hurts more. Congratulations, Milly!
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post #4 of 10
12/12/05 at 11:19am
When I got pregnant with Payton I made sure to tell DH's cousin Kelly first before any of the other family (besides the grandparents). She has had probably 5 or more miscarriages and I knew that me being pg for the 4th time was really going to hurt. I just called her up and broke the news to her gently. She was very appreciative that I called to tell her before the rest of the family. I made sure to offer her support and understanding. I don't think that there is much more that you can do besides that. Good luck!
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post #5 of 10
12/12/05 at 1:42pm
As someone who dealt with Infertility for many years, I would say just tell her straight out. It will hurt no matter what, but she will respect you for your honesty. Especially if she's one of the first you tell.

For me it was always a bummer at first b/c I wasn't pg myself. However, I got over it pretty quick and was happy for the person. Good luck!
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post #6 of 10
12/12/05 at 1:59pm
I would definitly tell her right away. I know I would hate to find out second hand from someone. I don't think that there is a good way that won't make her feel bad, at least for a little while. Good luck and Congrats!
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post #7 of 10
12/12/05 at 3:19pm
Thread Starter 
We haven't told anyone yet. We are planning on telling everyone in person when we fly home for Christmas. I am showing so it's going to be a little tricky. I was planning on calling my sister before we fly out and tell her. I know she is going to be hurt and I know she will hide it if I tell her in person. I think she'll need some time to get used to the idea and some time to cry. I wish there was an easier way to deal with the situation. Maybe we just won't tell anyone and they won't notice when we have an extra kid with us... okay so that probably wouldn't work either.

Thanks for the advice.
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post #8 of 10
12/12/05 at 4:27pm
She might be hurt, but she is your sister and I am sure she will be happy for you. I would tell her before someone else does.
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post #9 of 10
12/12/05 at 7:39pm
It seemed like when DH and I were trying to have a baby and then going through fertility treatments, everyone we knew was getting pregnant. It was so hard for me to be happy for them, but I also realized that their getting pregnant had nothing to do with me. It's not like I would have gotten pregnant sooner if they had not gotten pregnant.
So, that said, I think you need to say to your sister just what you wrote in your post. Be kind and gentle and compassionate with her.
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post #10 of 10
12/13/05 at 11:19am
I agree just come out and tell her. She will probably appreciate you telling her before everybody else giving her time to sort her feelings before everybody else finds out. My friend phoned me and told me first that she was PG when we were both trying for our firsts, Jay and I were going through our IUI process and I was upset but also happy for her, though for me it ended up I was PG that month too, so I didn't feel as bad. I hope everything works out for the best
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