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Sibling Fighting....

post #1 of 5
2/6/06 at 12:32pm
Thread Starter 
How do you deal with it? How do you get it to stop? This weekend was a mess. Both of started using their nails as weapons, so they both end up all scratched up. Of course, everything happens when I don't see it, so I don't know what REALLY happens. I just know neither of them starts it, it is always the other one and of course, they did nothing back! Justin has been slapping, scratching, biting etc. Brandon has been scratching back. I have told them over and over if they can't play nice, don't play together. I have reprimanded and timed out. As soon as I ask what happens, they both accuse the other. I know this is normal, but is there a way to deal with it? Do I ignore it, punish them both, or what????

They are driving me !!
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post #2 of 5
2/6/06 at 1:13pm
My sister has two boys and they are always fighting, yelling, teasing, in the same way.... she went to a class and the main thing they talked about was that parental yelling is the most INEFFECTIVE way to parent. She make the boys try to respect each other - and creates a respectful home enviroment and when she starts to hear/see it escalate stop it right then and there.. and talk about what is making them get upset before it turns into anger.

I think that I would punish them both - ....since they are both contributing to the fighting - it doesnt really matter who started it.. one didnt walk away - yk?

My two get along for the most part - but they are also 7 1/2 years apart and Brody just usually caters to Laurens every need/want. He gets more upset when she gets in his room and trashes his lego sets - but he also knows that he left his door open so its partly his fault.
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post #3 of 5
2/6/06 at 2:42pm
Mine can fight but don't yet get into the knock-down drag-down fights that they probably will when they get older. Now it's just hiting mostly and most of the time they will admit to what they've done, as far as who started it and why they hit back. Regardless, we make them both apologize to each other and give each other a hug and kiss. DD often refuses to so we make her sit in time out until she's calmed down enough that she's ready to apologize.
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post #4 of 5
2/6/06 at 3:55pm
At their age, separating them is probably the best thing you can do. Send'em to their rooms until they can play nice together. Don't bother asking what happened because they're each going to try to make themselves look like the victim. Punish them both because it takes two to fight.

When they're a little older, make'em sit on the couch and hold hands for five minutes. After they have to do that a few times, remind them when they start to fight that they're going to sit on the couch if they don't straighten up. That usually works with my kids because the last thing they want to do is touch each other in a loving way.

And when they're teenagers, send them outside and let them fight it out. I'm sure that's not what the "experts" will suggest, but I grew up with three younger brothers who used to fight terribly. Once they got big enough that they were capable of seriously hurting each other, which they figured out after some really nasty, bloody fights, they learned to leave each other alone. (And now they're grown up and the best of friends.)
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post #5 of 5
2/6/06 at 4:38pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, they share a room. So I have been making them sit on seperate ends of the couches. I used to make them hug and say they were sorry, I got out of that. Don't know why I didn't remember to do it! Thanks ladies!
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