Best advice for parenting more than one child....

No matter how tired you are or how sick you feel, if you promise the older child to do something with them when the little one goes down for a nap then do something with them. Let the housework sit there, so dinner is late, tough luck (unless you can make getting dinner ready part of a togetherness routine for the two of you).

Children are not created equal, sometimes you will love one more than the other (esp when one has been a complete brat face all day ) this is NORMAL, do not worry about it or beat yourself up over it, tomorrow it will swing back again

Involve your hubby, get one on one time with both kids as often as practicable but at least once a week, alternate weeks if you have too but it is important for all four of you to have alone time with each other as well as family time. This is esp important for the elder child.

I also made much of the fact that Greg was a big brother and that that was of huge importance in the family. He would get me wet face cloths or other little age appropriate jobs (Lauren could occassionally bring you a diaper, or baby wipes) as a 'favour' which helped him feel like he was really helping me out (and don't get me wrong, he really was helping) but he also had the option of being "favoured out" which reinforced the idea he was helping his brothers and I and not just being landed with more chores (which would have created resentment towards his brothers).

With everybody bringing gifts for the new born, encourage people to bring small tokens for the older child as well to start with, BUT it is very important that the older child realises that clothes etc are not presents, they are essentials bc you don't want to get into the habit of having to buy her something every 6 weeks as the baby grows and changes sizes. Try and buy them clothes at different times so that sometimes the older child gets clothes and the younger one gets no 'compensation' and other times the younger one gets clothes while the older gets no compensation.

Boy, what a novel, you sorry you asked yet I'll shut up now

Since I only have experience with Twins, I may not be the best person to give advice. However, since they are close in age and you may feel like you are raising Twins, I would be happy to help with those questions!
Dana and Maree were WONDERFUL to me when I was starting out with the girls.

Just remember every kid is different. You will come to realize that from the time they get their own personality. Ask their opinions when they get old enough. Be organized..or try that is. Have the older kids help out...believe me they will let you know when they are DONE HELPING. Keep attitudes in check, if someone is getting a chip on their shoulder it will usually lead into a HUGE fight. Listen to tones of voices, if you arent in the room...you can tell a lot about where a conversation is going to go by a tone..I usually say HEY..then see where it goes from there. Sometimes you just have to let them fight it out. A warning telling them.."if you dont stop he is going to nail you and it will be no ones fault but your own" usually calms things down a little. Always get both sides to a fight..take them in separate rooms and talk to them. Amazing the stories..lol. Always mend booboo's and try and heal hearts..as best as you can. Best of alll...ALWAYS kiss them good night and tell them you love them...NEVER GO TO BED MAD!! That includes Mom and Dad too!!

Kim, I am so glad you asked this question!
I think you are all giving great advice!

Once you have two they say one is easy. It is a complete nightmare when I went from one kid to two. But you deal and find what works for you. I always try to show the older one that special attention to make her feel special.

I had 4 years apart so my situation is a little different. Brittany would be able to help with things and I would have her give special love to the baby. Kimmer take one day at a time and you have that awesome husband Chris that can help so much more than the regular DH.

Gosh, I don't really remember. My boys are 2 yrs and 2mo apart and both were in diapers at first so that was really hard. Going from 1 child to 2 was rough but 2 to 3 was easy Remember that they are different and don't compare them to one another especially in front of one another. Praise, praise, praise Lauren especially while the baby is new and everyone is still adjusting. Help your oldest to be more independent and to have patience because they are used to getting all of your attention and now have to share it. Lauren will probably do things that aren't the greatest to capture your attention and is very scared that you like the baby more so schedule some time without Ryan when you can.
Get time for yourself whenever you can and don't sweat the small stuff. Will the world stop turning just because you didn't get the laundry or dishes done? Unlikely. Don't worry, it will still be there tomorrow.
And lastly, ENJOY THEM! I cannot tell you HOW FAST those first few years flew by and I no longer had little boys that liked to tie blankets around their necks for capes or drank sippy cups while snuggling in bed with me. Find the humor in situations and it will make it so much easier for you.

This was kinda neat for Johnny and I yesterday....
Payton had a handful of unwrapped chocolate outside after the hunt and then accidentally dropped it in the dirt but picked it back up to eat it again. My SIL tried to take it from her since it was dirty and told DH and I about the dirty candy because she couldn't get it away from Payton since she decided to hide under a folding chair with it so SIL couldn't take it from her. Instead of worrying about a little dirt and upsetting Payton I said "well, she just wanted that little extra bit of crunch in her chocolate. She's fine" and then Johnny looked at me and winked. It was a neat moment for us because it truley shows how we have grown with our children and no longer stress out about the little things. Pick your battles. If it isn't going to hurt them then leave it be (of course unless it is something really bad. You kwim )
Okay, i have rambled enough. Enjoy your babies! It will get easier and you are so going to love having two children to referee!

The end of that paragraph is so like something I once heard...

With the first kid you sterilize the nuk.
With the second kid you suck it clean yourself...
With every kids after that the dog can clean it off!

Pick your battles. If it isn't going to hurt them then leave it be (of course unless it is something really bad. You kwim )

For me going from one kid to two was just crazy. I thought one was hard and two were impossible. But like Krista...the thrid was a piece of cake. Try if you can to plan you day ahead of time. Lay out clothes, pack the diaper bag and so forth. Do something special with each child if you can. Court used to go and get donuts for breakfast and he would take Gavin with him as a special thing. When we had Abby he would do special stuff with Maddie and so forth.

No two kids are the same, so you need to remember to try and not treat them the same (different things work for different kids)
Be sure to make time for Lauren. She needs her one on one mommy time too
Make sure Chris does things to help you out around the house. With 2 people doing housework, it makes more time for you both to be able to have fun with the kids

Mom of 5

Well, 2 are grown and have kids the same age as mine. I've got a 6 year old, a 9 year old and a 14 year old. The 6 year old is a girl (with a mind of her own and an attidude to go with it) OMG!

My 14 year old son is the one who saves my sanity with the 2 youngest, they bicker and bicker all the time. He is also a geat helper with the housework, empties the dishwasher, etc.

If he sees me folding clothes he comes right over and starts helping.

When they get bored or something I give them each a glass plus bottle (filled with water) and rag and let them do the walls etc. It makes them feel like they are helping out and keeps them occupied. Of course that's until they turn it on each other. Yikes!

Guess that's not much as far as advice goes though. Each kid is different and needs to be treated differently.

Have a great week end everyone. : )

Jan

I didn't have a problem going from one to two. We moved one month after Kel was born so it was a busy busy time and a knew start for all of us(not that things were bad). We always made sure Christian got his mommy or daddy time. Whether it was just sitting on my lap reading a book or going away with daddy by himself. Now we try to do the same with Kel even though she doesn't have a young sibling. We just make sure they each get their quality, SEPARATE time with each parent because we always have together time.

The biggest thing for me is trying to get organized the day before. I try to have a mental plan of what I need to get done, what I want to get done and if there is anything special planned for the day with one of them.

And for me getting Kev to help me out. Most of the time he just sits and watches whiel I try to get me and the girls ready in 10 minutes for church. He has FINALLY started to help. HE got them dressed for Easter and then told me I could do their hair.

Each kid is different and special in their own way. Make time for each of them.

I try to have a little "special time" with each child each day, if possible, but as I work 3-11pm, sometimes we have to do it as "Brian Day" or "Benjamin Day". I see Trinity before I go to work during the week.

I have 6 so I could probably write a novel too! Don't worry too much about being "fair" - life isn't fair! The older ones have to have a few more chores and the younger ones don't get the privileges the older ones do. At the same time, stress that with privilege comes responsibility. And any privileges are just that - privileges, NOT rights! I still do that with teen-agers - driving a car is a privilege, not a right and if you abuse the privilege (by staying out too late, speeding, going places you shouldn't be) you lose the privilege. If a younger one shows more responsibility he wins the privilege even if the older one is, well - older! For younger kids that might mean that if Dad can take one along to the store and the younger one has his chores done, younger one gets to go...never mind that younger one had fewer chores.
Don't let yourself get drawn into debating whether your decision is fair - yes, we make mistakes and I always told my kids I want them to call me on any mistakes - just do it respectfully and/or at a different time. So if I said, no you can't go to your friend's house right now, it's OK to say, Mom, can I talk to you in the kitchen a minute? and then explain that the reason I want to go to a friend's house is that she is sad because her grandma is sick. It's NOT OK to say, that's not fair! you let sis go to her friend's house 3 times last week and you never let me do anything I want to do! And even when you've explained it's still Mom and Dad's responsibility to make the decision and your job to say, OK, I'm glad you heard what I said and I know you're trying to do what's best for everyone.
Never let your kids play you and spouse against each other. If there is any question as to whether the other has already given an answer, ask, What did Dad/Mom say? and then back them up. Even if you disagree - that's an issue between spouses, not to be discussed in front of the kids. After the kids were a bit older, (in school) we even started giving consequenses if they asked the other after one said no. We wanted them to know that if Dad said no, Mom respected that decision. And if it's a "sorta biggie" decision, it's OK to say, I want to talk to your Dad before I decide. Children WANT to know their parents are united.
Well like I said, I could write a novel and of course there are so many little nuances to every family there's no way anyone can tell you how to do everything. The important thing is to not be afraid to be a parent...that's your privilge and your responsibility!