I think we missed it!!!!!!!!!!

I think we missed my fertile time. I believe it was around Monday or Tuesday. I've been so darn tired lately and so has Steve. This past weekend konked me out!!!

I'm having second thoughts again about TTC. I would love to have a child but now I'm so consumed with our new house I just don't know what to do! Sometimes I wonder if I'll be a good mother. Sometimes I wonder if I should just remain childless. Most of the time I just figure it won't happen for me. Steve and I are doing pretty good right now I wonder if we really need to have a child that will definitely be a blessing, yet stressful.

Sometimes I just don't know what I want anymore in regards to having a child. I think my PCOS/infertility is really putting out my fire to have a child. I'm losing confidence in myself in becoming a mother.

Thanks Angie.

I think I'm good though. I'm almost 36 years old and really losing my desire to have a child in some respects. I've dealt with PCOS, have studied it, and just really think my age plus PCOS is making me have second thoughts on becoming a mother.

Some days my desire to be a mother is strong, but other days I just let my independence take over and question if I really want a child. Society really isn't friendly to child-free couples. I've even asked myself if I'm really just wanting a baby because 'everyone else is doing it'. So there are just a lot of things going on right now besides the PCOS issue.

I don't even take my Metformin anymore. Can't stand the stuff and I really don't plan on going back on it. I know that is bad but I just would rather beat this thing without that stuff!! Some control it by their diet and exercising. That is what I would much rather do.

Also, I've been married for almost 7.5 years and my hubby and I are doing pretty good right now. I know throwing a child into the mixture would put stress on our marriage...and I'm not exactly thrilled about that. Our marriage is strong enough we'd probably do ok, but Steve and I are doing pretty good right now.

I do wish I could have all the joyful things mothers go through...the hugs and kisses from the little one's, the pictures they draw, all the cute things they say.

If I'm blessed enough to have a child, I'll be happy. But another part of me is happy now with the way things are in my life.

I'm rambling.