How do you explain death?

Awww ... poor girls!

I don't really know the answer. We just went through this a few weeks ago with one of the baby kitties. TJ kept asking if it was "dead", but I don't think he really got it. He'd tell me it was dead, then ask me to fix it.

I'm sure that you'll do a good job of explaining it, but they'll continue to ask questions for awhile

When Brittany was that age I explained that the person went to heaven to be with God. Like God needed that person for something secial. I know it is hard but I know you will be able to handle it.

I would try to find a book that is age appropriate and see if that helps. So sorry about your dog Heather, that has to be so hard.

when we had to put our dog down.. we told jacob and nate that she went to "doggy heaven"
Jacob still asks about her once in a while and we just keep telling him that...

I agree. Sorry about your dog.

I am sorry about your dog

Ryan is back and forth with death ... when we play and he is spiderman, he thinks he can kill people and they come back alive like the movies... and of course I do come back to life and I try to tell h9im if it was real what happens.. and he has heard me talking about things or seen in movies (especially disney) when things die ... but the only way I can actually know he 'gets it' is with killing bugs... he knows once they are dead they are dead...

We had a talk about my prarie dogs who died. He told me he wanted them and I explained that they are buried etc ... but I still dont know if he 'got it'.... its probably for the best that they dont 'get it' Losing a dog is hard.

Heather, first off , I'm sorry for your family's loss.

Here's something for you, and you may be able to use this with the girls::

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

My thoughts are with you.

Beat me to it Nikki. We gave out that poem all the time at the vet clinics. It's a great poem about where animals go when they have to leave us I'm so sorry about your dog.

Someone gave us a book when our daugher died called the Fall of Freddie the Leaf. Great book. It's actually for kids but we just loved it.

I'm so sorry, Heather. We usually tell her that it is broken and can't be fixed. She doesn't understand death yet, but she does understand broken.

Kyle's father died in January. We told Emily that Papa went to heaven to be with Jesus. She understands that as well as can be expected. When we go out and she gets balloons, we let her kiss them and let them go and we call it sending them to Papa. She still asks why he had to "die up to heaven," and she often talks about him and tells us she misses him.

Children can usually grasp better when there is a visual, and you might want to go to the Rainbow Bridge website with her sitting on your lap.

When our kids were younger and our pets died, we put them in a box and let the kids make cards or drawings or poems or notes to go in the box, and buried them. That gave them a chance to say goodbye and I love you, and isn't that the most important part of getting closure?

I remember DS putting a note in with DD's hamster to "say Hi to my gerbil from last year!"

When I was a pre-K teacher, I had gerbils in the classroom and when they died, one at a time, we had funerals for each. "Hey, Miss Rani, guess what I am?" asked 4 yo Orin, laying on the ground on his back with arms and legs up in the air. "A dead gerbil!"

Why did we *have* pets in the first place? Truly, it is for the lessons they give us: we all learn about love, about taking responsibility, and then finally, about death and loss.

In the last year, we have had an aunt, an uncle, and a much-beloved grandfather die. I am certain that the way we handled the pets over the years helped prepare my now-grown DS and DD to deal with the people they love dying.

You're going to be answering questions on this at different levels for a long time. Just this morning, DS (now 19) was asking about what it is in *my* spiritual beliefs that enables me to handle death without flipping out.

Hope that helps. Oh, and I hope you have photos of your pets, that will help ease the loss.

Rani