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When you got married where children invited to the wedding?

post #1 of 19
5/31/06 at 5:47pm
Thread Starter 
My Niece/cousin is getting married fall next year.

We have always invited her to all the kids activities and such. We have come to all her things growing up too. We were just advised that she does not want mine or my SIL's kids invited to the wedding.

She the niece/cousin stood up in my SIL wedding and she came to mine. My Aunt cant believe that the kids are not invited/or even standing up. How do you feel, should I get over it?
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post #2 of 19
5/31/06 at 6:01pm
I didnt care who was at my wedding. (well you know what I mean) The more the merrier it was a time of celebration and happiness.

My brother and his x had talked about a wedding where no children would be and I said go have a nice time.

Personally I think it depends on how involved the person is with children that would come. IF they are "regulars in childrens lives then I think they should invite/allow children.

But I know alot of people who want it to be an "adult" thing too.

If the person is important to you I say leave the kids and go for awhile but leave early.

I got an invite alst year that was to me & my family and then the bride whited out the & family part. Needless to say I sent my regrets. My family is a BIG part of who I am. and it would have been one thing if the & family had never been on the invite but to put it on and then white it out really rubbed me the wrong way.
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post #3 of 19
5/31/06 at 6:18pm
We allowed kids at our wedding. Of course, it was a really small deal - I think there were three kids (a 3-month old, a 17 month old, and my 11 year old step brother).

Yeah, I have to agree, Karen - more than the family not being invited, I'd take more offense at the white out. I mean, geez...
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post #4 of 19
5/31/06 at 6:28pm
well we got married in my mom's living room The only kid there was Lys. Personally other then my (and his) immediate family member's children if I had had a big wedding I wouldnt' have invited the kids. Only my family's kids, I would have wanted an adult party, especially for the reception.
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post #5 of 19
5/31/06 at 8:07pm
Their wedding, their decision. I completely understand why people don't want kids there. I've been to many weddings where I couldn't even hear what was being said because of all the crying babies and bored children who were whining. And I've been to wedding receptions where kids ran around taking the center pieces apart and generally acting like complete brats. You can't rely on parents to control their kids nowadays (of course, I'm not talking about any of you because your children are angels, of course). If I was spending all that time and money on a wedding, I'd consider having adults only myself.
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post #6 of 19
5/31/06 at 9:01pm
I eloped so, nope. No one but dh's granny and the preacher where there outside of the two of us. All I can think of is they are planning a drunken party afterwards and don't think it's approriate to have kids around alchol. I know if I was invited to a wedding dance and a lot of drinking was going on, I would not bring my dd or not attend myself (most likely).
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post #7 of 19
6/1/06 at 3:04am
i see where you are coming from Jennifer, i had kids at my wedding and it was one of the highlights watching my nephew dance with a friends daughter... i love kids at weddings!

i have seen some of the horror kids though and i agree that some parents don't watch their kids enough.
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post #8 of 19
6/1/06 at 9:15am
As my bridesmaid was only 10 and my pageboy and flower girl were only 5 I kind of had to let the kids come not to mention the bridesmaid 6 year old sister and the flower girls 7 year old sister, the bridesmaid and her sister are my cousins ( I promised Khadine when she was 5 that she could be my bridesmaid if I ever got married), the pageboy is my son and the flower girl and her sister are my best friend daughters.

We had a ball and the children were all well behaved, possibly bc they had 50 friends and relatives watching over them they were also taken home at 9pm to watch videos and sleep on mattresses on the floor in the living room of my Aunt's house they had an absolute ball

If people look after their kids and take them home before they get tired and over excited there is no reason kids can't go to weddings, but I can also see why people may want a sophisticated adult wedding. Our wedding was a real family wedding but some people invite more friend than family. (maybe they don't have as many relatives as I do, we were just lucky that most of my relatives live too far away to come )

As for the white out, that is just plain tacky, she could at the very least have rewritten a new invitation
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post #9 of 19
6/1/06 at 9:24am
yes they were invited
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post #10 of 19
6/1/06 at 10:24am
Even though our wedding was word of mouth and anyone we knew was invited to it, no one brought any children to the wedding. I would have been ok if someone brought their child.
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post #11 of 19
6/1/06 at 11:10am
We had kids in our wedding and also guests that came from out of town and brought their children. We had no problems. I was just so glad to be getting married that I didn't care who came. The more the merrier.
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post #12 of 19
6/1/06 at 11:22am
ultimately it's their wedding and their decision, but i like having kids around for stuff like that
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post #13 of 19
6/1/06 at 11:32am
It's their special day and their decision. Even though it may hurt feelings, you need to let it go. (I know, easier said then done)

Kids were invited to our wedding and we had a ring bearer and flower girl. (But that was our decision)
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post #14 of 19
6/1/06 at 11:34am
At our wedding, kids could come to the wedding ceremony but we said no kids at the reception as for us we just felt that the things that go on at a wedding reception are really for adults only and we didn't feel that kids should see that kind of stuff. That was just our opinion. I am not sure the reasoning for your cousin.
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post #15 of 19
6/1/06 at 11:40am
She might have her reasons so I don't think you should be offended. I'm sure it's nothing against your kids.
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post #16 of 19
6/1/06 at 11:47am
We got married in Las Vegas. We didn't say "no kids," and there were a few older kids at the wedding, but honestly, most people didn't bring their kids because no matter how much they try to say Vegas is family friendly, it's not really that great for small kids.
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post #17 of 19
6/1/06 at 1:56pm
The only kid I didn't want there was dh's niece, but she came anyways.

I didn't care if other kids were there.
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post #18 of 19
7/7/11 at 5:14am

 

We debated on inviting children to my sister’s wedding, but we eventually decided that a wedding is actually a family celebration and not restricted only to adults. Although this topic has been much debated, I personally think that children should be invited despite the fact that some couples find inviting children to the reception a major issue.

In other cultures, excluding children from weddings is an outrageous event and even now, doing so is sometimes considered disgraceful.wedding invitations  should include children and not exclude them.

 

Edited by malsha - 7/14/11 at 10:49pm
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post #19 of 19
7/13/11 at 9:33pm

It is ultimately up to the bride and groom.  I have found that most children do not go along to weddings most of the time, even if they are invited.  As long as it is known ahead of time and stated in the wedding invitations, whatever the bride and groom decide should be fine. 


Edited by number 2 is due - 7/15/11 at 8:11pm
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