Almost The End

Well, I had court yesterday at 1 30pm and Eric never showed up for it. I was so happy that he didn't show up because it proved everything, I knew he didn't really want to be part of Jonathan's life. So the judge asked me if Eric was here and I said no, then he asked soemthing about his whereabouts and I told him that I was just recently told that Eric moved and I have no address or phone number with which to contact him. Then the judge asked if Eric had been seeing his son on a regular basis, so I told him the truth. Eric hasn't seen or heard from Jonathan since May 31 despite the numerous calls both Jonathan and I have made to him, including leaving him messages that he never returns. So he told me that he would normally recommend a settlement hearing in a case like mine but a settlement hearing only works if both parties show up and, since Eric didn't show up, he said he could have it go straight to trial instead that way I can get everything I want, get the divorce finalized, and move on without Eric being able to say anything about it. So, I told the judge that was fine with me. He set it up and the trial date is August 21st at 9am. I do have to go back to court sometime this week or next week though to give the courts a update on my income, since it got dropped now. Other than that, everything is going great now. I'm glad that Eric decided that since he doesn't really want to be part of Jonathan's life, not to show up at all for court. He finally did something responsible for once. I'm not proud to say that but I had a feeling that Eric didn't want us in his life anymore and I don't know how to explain that to Jonathan, so I'm glad Eric made the choice. Who knows when or if I'll even see him again myself. The thing that sucks the most right now though is I can feel that I still love him so I'm disappointed too, it's almost like my heart is breaking all over again. How can you love someone so much and yet hate them so much at the same time?