Saving Hope

Well, I'm feeling great... Jonathan and I went to Eric's grandpa's for dinner with Eric last night and everything was actually going great, until we started arguing about the divorce. We argued for at least an hour and a half before we finally reached an agreement to hear each other out, which took at least another hour. At the end, we worked everything out. It sucks too because if that argument and talk would've happened at least six months ago or more, we wouldn't be divorced now and I wouldn't have even filed. But I told him that it's too late. I wish that we'd worked everything out six months ago, before I even filed for divorce, but we didn't and now it's too late to go back. So I told him that just because we lost our relationship doesn't mean that we can't keep our friendship and no one knows what the futher holds, so we're going to maintain our friendship. If he stays the way he was last night and keeps the job he has and everything going the way it is, maybe in a few years, five years, ten years, sometime in the future, maybe things will work out for us and we can be a family again. I told him that if we marry again, it's going to be for love... Real and true love. He asked if he could have one last kiss as my husband even though the divorce has been final for a whole week, I thought there was no harm in a goodbye kiss. Shows what I get for thinking. We both agreed that we shouldn't have shared that kiss because it left us wanting the love we had, the marriage we had, and everything that we lost. By that time it was late and Jonathan was getting sleepy so I told him that we needed to go; I can feel a change in him though, it might take awhile but I can feel that this time everything is going to be different. He's already asked if he can see us this coming weekend and if Jonathan could call him every so often, even though he's going to try to call at least once a day. I think we're going to be able to keep our friendship and that will be good for all three of us. I'm heartbroken over the love we lost and I hate that it had to come to this before we could work everything out, but we somehow salvaged our friendship and now things are starting to feel good again. I hope everything really does work out for us now, especially after all we've been through together.