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If you didn't send your child to preschool...

post #1 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:06pm
Thread Starter 
my dh and I are not sending our dd to preschool. She'll be starting school in kindergarten. However, some family members are making a clamour about it as if we are abusing our daughter by not sending her to preschool. I am sick of the nasty comments. How did you handle it?
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post #2 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:19pm
You guys work with her and do things with her, and she plays at the park with other kids. She's a smart kid. I think she'll be fine. What you decide to do is your business.

If Jonathan didn't have a developmental delay, I would not have sent him. He is smart and knows more than any of the kids in his class at either school. He needed it for the speech therapies and social interaction. Otherwise, I wouldn't have sent him.
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post #3 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:21pm
I never went to pre-k and look how well I turned out!

Really, it's no big deal and she's your child. Tell them to stick it in their ear.
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post #4 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:21pm
I'd tell them that if they wanted to pay for the PreK and get her there and back, to feel free!

We're very fortunate to be able to do this for TJ, but not all kids need PreK nor is it feasible. I think people are too busy minding everyone else's business and criticizing parenting skills when they should be concentrating on what they can do to better their own selves!
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post #5 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:26pm
Ugh! Why did it suddenly become a huge deal not to send kids to preschool? All of the children in my day care stay here until they go to kdg. They've all done well in school. I do work with them and we do preschool activities but they learn best through play. I strongly feel that the under 5 years are the time where the focus should be on learning social skills. They will have a structured setting soon enough. Let them play while they are little!
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post #6 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:27pm
What Dawn said!
You would be surprised at how many horrible looks I get for not sending mine to PreK-3.
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post #7 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:29pm
Thread Starter 
You're right, Dawn. It is expensive. Unless a child is developmentally delayed, they can't get into Head Start here because there are only enough slots for the children in the deepest need. Private preschool is extremelly expensive or run by very off the wall churches. We looked into it and decided we could teach her at home.

We've been working with her a lot and she knows her numbers, letters, shapes and colors. Dh has been teaching her how to count money, so I think she's doing pretty well. I really don't understand why they are so angry about my dd not going to preschool. Really why is it their business? I'm sick of hearing how it's such a shame she can't read. She's only three for heaven's sakes!
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post #8 of 23
8/30/06 at 1:55pm
I know how you feel. We will be starting preschool at home next week. I get the same thing. And since I want to homeschool her thru the years...family really slams me. But I don't care what they think.

I think if a child learns even at home then what's the big deal. I do also feel that it is important for the child to be around others, but you take Kate to the park and other places. I wouldn't worrry about what others say...she is your child...your responsiblity. You teach her and she is learning.
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post #9 of 23
8/30/06 at 2:10pm
Logan got basicaly kicked out of pre-school.
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post #10 of 23
8/30/06 at 3:07pm
It sounds like you're doing great. I've not sent any of my kids to preschool (or school either for that matter ) I don't get a lot of comments from my family because they know better. The last time I saw my dad he was telling me homeschool horror stories though Just tell your family that she is learning all she needs at home and for the overall good of the family, she is not going to preschool. She will be fine.
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post #11 of 23
8/30/06 at 4:14pm
we didn't send jacob to preschool and we won't be sending Nathan either. So far jacob seems to be doing good in kindergarten....
we do work with the kids at home.. and teach them basics though
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post #12 of 23
8/30/06 at 4:22pm
Trey really needs it for the social inter-action. He needs to be with other kids before Kindergarten. Trey is very close to reading right now. He just gets bored with it too fast. He knows his shapes colors and numbers. He can spell his name and his real name. I just wanted him to get social interaction with the other kids before Kindergarten.

Brittany only did it because I was working.
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post #13 of 23
8/30/06 at 9:20pm
Logan wont be going to preschool. in my dads words, we are only kids once, let him enjoy it while he can!
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post #14 of 23
9/6/06 at 1:20pm
Funny thing is, probably most of these nay-sayers were kids when even going to kindergarten was a rarity.

Maybe they are having a "Baby Boom" (a la Annie Hall) breakdown. Remember the scene where the Moms are in the park consoling the one whose son did not make it into the "right" preschool? Here the kid was like 2 and the mother went from no preschool to "not the best" kindergarten, gradeschool, prep school...then FORGET Ivy League!

We got the same thing with the boys back in the day ... they need to be with other children, they won't be prepared for school, blah blah blah.

So, forget "them". Nobody will love and care for Kate as much as you and Steve ... and I think I know you well enough to say that she will be as prepared if not MORE prepared than other children her age when it comes to "regular school".

Rock on, sister!
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post #15 of 23
9/6/06 at 1:28pm
I agree with what Libby said.
Once I move I may get Sarah into a daycare for a couple days a week. Only for socializing and to give me a break. I might, not sure yet.
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post #16 of 23
9/6/06 at 5:29pm
I wouldn't worry about the pre-school issue at all!! Young children learn best through play and their home environment. If you read to your child, talk with your child, play with your child, let them help with chores around the house, help you cook, and have playdates with other children occasionally your child will be fine without preschool. I don't know when it because a must for all children to attend preschool. I am a home daycare provider and I take care of young children of all ages. I do not do a "formal" learning program but incorporate learning into our play. I read to the children, teach them to count as we go up and down steps, read to them, color with them, teach them colors, shapes and counting when we play with blocks or legos, teach them to tell time by scheduling activities and having them count the time on a clock. Any other parent can do what I do. Preschool is great if your child isn't around other children much or as been at home with a parent and needs a little help with separation before having to go to school every day but by no means is it absolutely necessary. I would not worry about this issue and let other's opinions not matter. Once your child is in school and doing well, they will see that your child is doing just fine and that you were right after all!
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post #17 of 23
9/7/06 at 1:21am

I never sent my DS to pre-school and he was fine.
If you can teach her basics at home why bother .
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post #18 of 23
9/7/06 at 11:34am
I think it is good only to get them used to school before Kindergarten. That can be kind of a shock. But it is your daughter, and you have the right to do what you want.
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post #19 of 23
9/7/06 at 1:21pm
I agree totally that it's your choice to send her or not. Only you know what is best for Kate.
Honestly, I started Emily in Mom's Morning Out because I believed she needed socialization AND because I wanted her to know (and I needed to know, too) that she would be okay in a school-like environment without me. What I really want to do is become like a kangaroo and grow a pouch and put her in it and keep her there! But I know that always having her with me is not good for either of us, and she needed that socialization. It's been great for her, and she has learned so much.
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post #20 of 23
9/7/06 at 1:27pm
Quote:
Really why is it their business?
Exactly, Lenora! It isn't their business. Every child is different and every mother and father are different. And I agree totally with LuAnn--no one will ever love Kate the way you do. So, the heck with "them!"
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post #21 of 23
9/7/06 at 1:56pm
I think I would be upset if someone made a big deal over me not putting my kid in preschool. What difference does it make to them anyway. Kids that don't go to preschool can turn out just as good as kids that do go. You work with Kate all the time, and as long as she gets out for social interaction(which you do take her out), then it shouldn't be a big deal.
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post #22 of 23
9/7/06 at 5:54pm
I have placed Desiree in Jr-K this year. I did it because I honestly don't have the patients with a 1 year old and because I'm tired from work to sit down and try to teach her things. Besides the fact that I need a sitter anyways. But I went with the Jr-K better then the normal preschool or Pre-K becaues I think she needs to learn to sit down and pay attention better. I know every city/place is different but in San Jose, the kids have to take a placement test just to get into kindergarten. Some place recommend 2 yrs of preschool before hand. If I was able to be with Desiree and teach her my self I would do it. So don't feel like you have to it's each persons own preference. Desiree went from pre-k to Jr-K this Sept and that meant a new class room and new teacher, and we are on week two and she's still adjusting. So in someways I'm glad I made the change cause next year she will be in a whole new school, with all new teachers and kids. I see next year being way harder for her.
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post #23 of 23
10/14/06 at 5:42pm
Kids will learn stuff soon enough. They don't get enough "just being a kid" time but I'm not for or against preschool. My son is in it but I think if he had siblings he would just be at home. I'd tell anyone making disparaging comments that they will be out of the house soon enough and they need the bonding time with mommy and daddy. What nerve!
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