At my wit's end

I have just had it!
First of all, this basement project is incessant. For the past month, just about every night and every weekend day--ALL DAY--Kyle has been in the basement working. I told them that if they didn't have the contractor do this that it would take FOREVER for them to do it. I was blown off. It's great that MIL is saving money and all that good stuff, but at what cost to US is she saving this money? Is it not enough that she lives here and has lived here for over eight months? That our lives have changed completely because of this fact? Apparantly, no it's not enough. Now my husband has to give up what little free time he has to bust his @ss to get this work done. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place. Since she doesn't have the money to have the contractor do all this, and we need her current bedroom for the baby, we have to get it done. However, WHY doesn't she have the money? Can y'all guess? Because she has spent literally tens of thousands of dollars over the past five years supporting BIL. Just a couple of years ago, she gave him $6,000 to buy his house. She's paid about half of the house payments on that house since, and those are $800 a month. She bought him a huge TV, a refridgerator, a washer and dryer. So, since she has done all that for him and can't afford to do for herself, Kyle has to do more than he should. And did I mention that BIL is not working AT ALL? Do you think he has been around to help ONE BIT in any of this? NO!
So, here I am, less than a month from my Oct. 6 c-section date, and Emily, Kyle, and I can't spend any time as a family to speak of. Thank goodness we had last weekend. Kyle never gets to play with Emily or have any one on one time with her. Pretty soon, we'll have a very demanding new family member. I had hoped that the three of us would have more time together in these last few weeks, and especially Emily and Kyle. She is used to having a lot of one on one time with him, and now she is getting none.
Granted, they are in the home stretch with the basement, which is great, but finishing it doesn't mean the work is done. Then, they have to move MIL's furniture from her house to the basement, move what's in the bedroom up here out, paint the bedroom for the baby, move the baby furniture in, move new furniture into Emily's room, and we have to clean the carpets because that stupid dog of hers has peed and pooped in EVERY room of the house. I am so tired and so very pregnant that there's not much I can do to help. On Monday, I worked all day to get baby things organized and to clean out Emily's closet. I still need to sort through her toys and things and get rid of what she no longer plays with. I also am trying to get some clothes together for consignment next week, and I work part time, too. I have just HAD IT with all this bullsh*t. There's even more, but I'll post that in rant/rave. I am really NOT happy today.

Her house is for sale, but the real estate market here is going through a slump. Plus, her house is in an area that is not so desirable, which doesn't help. Even the houses in our area, which is popular, are not selling, so who knows how long that will be.
Even when her house sells, she won't be able to live in another place. FIL did not leave her his pension, so her income has been cut severely, as in -$2,000 a month. Her house won't sell for enough for her to pay cash for another place, her income is too low to qualify for a mortgage, and she couldn't pay off her debt and be able to pay rent in any form. I don't mind her living with us most of the time. It's just this expectation that DH do all the work while his sorry @ss brother reaps all the rewards and benefits. That really gets to me. That and that $#%&* dog of hers.

He kept it all for himself with no death benefits at all. Selfish!

I like it when he does bedtime with her, but she usually wants me. He does do it if I ask him to. Last night, I wanted to him (here's another instance where we need a smiley that is choking another one! ) The three of us were upstairs in the den, where we always hang out, and Emily was watching Tarzan II, DH was reading the Wall Street Journal, and I was surfing the net. DH gets up and goes downstairs. I figured he needed something to drink. NOPE! The next thing I know, I hear the TV on downstairs. Here he was in the basement all day from 12 noon until nearly 6:00, not spending any time with her! He did sit by her at dinner, but big deal. Finally, Emily asked me where her daddy was, and she said she wanted him to come back, so I called him, and he came back for little while, then he went to bed.

I found out tonight that DH's uncle isn't coming over tomorrow because he is taking his wife to the movies. MIL told me this with lots of sarcasm in her tone. It's obvious she doesn't like that her brother is taking a night off at his wife's request. She made a comment about how she knew that Kyle's aunt would get tired of his uncle being gone. YA THINK? We are all tired of it. Get a clue! I told her, very kindly and gently, that Rod probably needed a break, too. And she said that she figured he was tired, but that she knew he would not take a night off until he was finished, but since his wife wanted him to, that he had to. She doesn't get it at all.

I think so. Thinking back, she's always been like this. See, for so many years FIL was a total jerk, drank way too much, and they had no real husband-wife relationship. So, for example, when we would travel, she would suggest letting FIL and Kyle share a room and then she and I could share a room. I know how strange this sounds, but see, FIL was impotent, and as I said, they had no other relationship, either, so she didn't feel any need to room with him. They didnt talk, and for many years her only purpose for him was caretaker. So, in some ways, she doesn't understand what a normal husband-wife relationship is. She doesn't get that some couples actually like each other and want to spend time together. She never understood the priority that DH and I place on our wedding anniversary because hers was rarely celebrated or recognized. It's really messed up, but that's another reason why I think she doesn't get it. I guess when you are in or were in an unhappy marriage it's hard to understand people who are mostly happy in theirs.