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Help! She's so defiant!

post #1 of 14
9/29/06 at 9:28pm
Thread Starter 
Haley is really getting to grown for her britches. It's been nothing but back talk and snotty comments for months on end now. Twice today I had to get on her about doing things without asking (attempting to bathe Brenna & throwing meat in the microwave to thaw so she could cook dinner) and just now after specifically telling her that she and her brother had to share a bag of popcorn (the snack size ones) because it was her grandfather's, I went into the kitchen to see two popped bags on the counter. She swears that I never told her she couldn't make both of them just that she couldn't use all his popcorn.
I honestly don't know what to do with her. The back talk and constantly correcting her brother (in a know-it-all sort of way) gets to me most. She has to have the last word and doesn't let things drop.
Is 10 years old too old to start spanking when I never have before? I'm at the end of my rope here.
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post #2 of 14
9/29/06 at 11:16pm
I think it's the age because my niece is about the same age and doing the same things. Just to let you know you're not alone. I have a book called Backtalk that might help. I can get all the information from it if you are interested in finding it in your local library. It basically says when the backtalk starts, the fun stuff stops.
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post #3 of 14
9/29/06 at 11:53pm
Quote:
The back talk and constantly correcting her brother (in a know-it-all sort of way) gets to me most.
The constant mothering from her and trying to control the younger brother is going to lead me to Honey we need to compair notes because they sound like two peas in a pod.
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post #4 of 14
9/30/06 at 9:01am
I'm seeing a behavorial specialist and had my first consult this week. I want to help Jimmy get his impulsiveness and attention span under control before this baby arrives.

He has gotten to the point where he removed his shirt outside and it's cold here and threw it over the 8 foot privacy fence. I have been grounding him and spanking but the one thing the specialists mention that he said he tells all his patients: which is very good advice.

You say it once only!
Then you punish immediatly
Short punishments for smaller ones and longer for older


Eliane at 11 once in 6th grade I was so bad that my teacher made me stand in the corner and you know I never forgot that!

If she wants to act like a child and not listen treat her like one, I say put her in the corner and in timeout. LOL I know that sounds funny but....it may work.
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post #5 of 14
9/30/06 at 11:42am
I think I shared with you before how I took care of Jessi when she got this way. I made her write 100 sentences and each time she back talked or whined, I added 50 to it. After writing 500 sentences in a day, we really don't have those problems anymore.
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post #6 of 14
10/2/06 at 10:39am
I am stocking these tips away.... boys are just as mouthy!
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post #7 of 14
10/2/06 at 11:11am
I like Dawn and Karen's ideas. I agree that you need to tell her only once and then punish immediately. I love the sentence writing idea and standing in the corner. I also agree that once the back talk/defiance starts, the fun ends--take away priviledges, take away her stuff, get her where it hurts.
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post #8 of 14
10/2/06 at 11:27am
I have a different tactic I have started with Hannah its push ups and situps we do 10 for mothering 20 for smartmouthing and 10 for not doing chores its AWESOME its really helped she is sore today but she has got to learn
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post #9 of 14
10/2/06 at 11:39am
Bootcamp! Gotta love it!
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post #10 of 14
10/2/06 at 11:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by simonne
I have a different tactic I have started with Hannah its push ups and situps we do 10 for mothering 20 for smartmouthing and 10 for not doing chores its AWESOME its really helped she is sore today but she has got to learn
I love it, but since brittany hates writing I will do the sentances.
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post #11 of 14
10/2/06 at 11:48am
Simmone's post reminds me. I had a friend in college whose daughters were 10 and 12 and also very mouthy. So she and her DH would make them run laps around the outside of the house when they mouthed off. And the best part? Tamara and her DH would never tell them how many they had to do up front. They would just tell the girls they had to do them until they (Tamara and her DH) told them they were finished. I liked that because the girls never really knew when the end was in sight. It worked, too. Hmmm gotta remember this stuff!
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post #12 of 14
10/2/06 at 11:49am
Russ said he was going to switch back and forth between mine and writing dictionary pages learn and write at the same time
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post #13 of 14
10/2/06 at 12:10pm
Since Jessi has a punishment waiting for her when she gets home (failed to tell me Friday that she got in trouble in class .. especially since she had a sleepover that night!) so she's going to be writing sentences, doing push ups, and living with no tv, radio or phone for awhile!
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post #14 of 14
10/2/06 at 12:14pm
What is it with girls its driving me NUTS I am ready to scream some days
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