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He doesn't respect my authority

post #1 of 14
10/18/06 at 3:13pm
Thread Starter 
I'm getting so frustrated with Aaron, I beginning to yell at the smallest thing and I spank him much more than I want to. He just won't nap for me. He'll nap for Jeff, and just cuddle and go to sleep. With me, he just yells and runs away. I don't want to be like my mom and be one of those moms who yell alot and get upset but I see myself going that way. What can I do?
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post #2 of 14
10/18/06 at 3:16pm
I have the same problem with my boys. When they nap with Daddy, they go to sleep. When they nap with me, they think it is playtime. I have to yell, threaten and finally spank before they go to sleep. Why? Because Daddy has more authority for some reason, they no he won't take the hanky panky. I have started taking the no-nonsense approach. I take the wooden spoon to bed with us. I threaten with something and then CARRY it out when they still act up.
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post #3 of 14
10/18/06 at 4:16pm
Thread Starter 
Wow, did it work? I about dread when Jeff goes to work b/c I know there will be a fight during the day and I'll lose my temper. *sigh*
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post #4 of 14
10/18/06 at 5:00pm
I have the same problem here. Daddy is much more respected than I am even if we do or say the same thing.
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post #5 of 14
10/18/06 at 5:13pm
Don't threaten to punish, punish immediatly. I'm working with a behavorial specialists and I'm seeing him tommorrow actually. With new baby coming I have to get things in line.


What works for is to inform him to put his listening ears on prior to me telling him something. This took awhile to sink in but once I forced him to make eye contact and said "put your listenening ears on and do as your told" it started to work.
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post #6 of 14
10/18/06 at 6:12pm
Thread Starter 
Wow, how do you find a behavioral specialist? Sounds good to me.
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post #7 of 14
10/18/06 at 6:19pm
i'm on this problem as well. only daddy doesn't have much more respect than i do. he talks back, and never listens when we ask him to do something

my solution, don't make him do anything in a hurry or when he doesn't want to... in other words if i want a nice calm day we do nothing.... and i expect nothing oh, and i acomplish nothing. not working, but it is calm
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post #8 of 14
10/18/06 at 11:04pm
Jerry and i BOTH have the same problem with Nick. He is great for everyone else but us
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post #9 of 14
10/18/06 at 11:05pm
Wow Karen I just read what you wrote......Ya gotta share more :gimme::gimme:
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post #10 of 14
10/18/06 at 11:15pm
Thread Starter 
Yes, I love days where we don't have to be anywhere.
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post #11 of 14
10/19/06 at 8:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndreaB
my solution, don't make him do anything in a hurry or when he doesn't want to... in other words if i want a nice calm day we do nothing.... and i expect nothing oh, and i acomplish nothing. not working, but it is calm
There is no way that can be done. I mean if I didn't make them do something because they didn't want to, we would never get anything done. That would not make for a calm momma much less a calm day!!

I find that if I follow through with whatever my threat was, the difference in their behaviour is vast. If I don't, then they take advantage of me. I guess the experts were right when they said FOLLOW THROUGH. As for getting the eye contact, that is like pulling teeth in my house! I get on their level and look them in the face, but the eyes go everywhere (I so remember doing the same thing when I was a kid), that every other word is followed by LOOK at me!

The spoon works because they don't like it. I have friends that actually have a wooden spoon in the car and bag so if they are on the road, the kids know it can still be doled out. Obviously I don't beat them with it or anything, just a pop on the butt, but it is enough that they don't want it.

I would be interested in the behavioral therapist take on things though.
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post #12 of 14
10/19/06 at 9:14am
This guy is great! He actually said he wouldn't provide a diagnosis but he would write it up as possible ADHD to appease my insurance so they would pay ....

I also will continue seeing him for my own OCD and you never know after this baby comes how I'm going to feel and it's always nice to know I could call him.
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post #13 of 14
10/19/06 at 1:09pm
Jennifer, the don't make him do anything only works on my days off when he can sit around, other wise we end up yelling and getting frustrated

i remember being terrified of the wooden spoon! my dad tells me now they never used it, just threatened it, Logan loves wooden spoons though, they are too much like drumsticks
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post #14 of 14
10/19/06 at 1:47pm
I pop Nick on the butt....and he just looks at me and laughs

If I did as you Andrea my house would be destroyed

Of course, Liz is no help.....when she gets in one of her moods, Nick feeds off of it and then both the two of them do it
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