BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Pregnancy › Postpartum › Happy but depressed
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Happy but depressed

post #1 of 12
11/18/06 at 12:49am
Thread Starter 
I'm so thrilled that my husband and i have a new addition in the family... however, there are so many things that just kick me in the ass every day.
the day of the birth of your child should be perfect and sooo exciting. for me, honestly it wasn't great at all. in fact, i was worried because the immigration officer was trying to get me to go back to the states (we're having problems with immigration papers bc stupid immigration office sucks at giving information). another thing was the fact that i hadn't expected a cesarean birth... which i can get over in a matter of time. another was the fact that, because i am not a canadian citizen, i had NO health insurance and so now we have over $20K in fees that we have to pay. so i was in the hospital for almost 3 days after my cesarean and i should've stayed longer bc i wasn't feeling strong enough to leave... but i left because the whole time i felt that if i stay one more day thats another 4500 that we have to pay... so that made me so depressed because instead of being happy and content, i was upset and depressed about paying too much for my stay.
and now, this breastfeeding thing isn't going so well. i had extra breast tissue underneath my armpits and they are swollen and are painful. my boobs feel so tight and i can't get the baby to eat enough. he cries too much and doesn't sleep enough and i dont know what to do...
Reply
post #2 of 12
11/18/06 at 2:00am


i'm sorry that the day turned out not as you had dreamed. I hope the immigration stuff smoothes itself out soon, you've been here long enough that there is no reason they shouldn't cover your medical costs!

The breastfeeding is a challenge you will find that alot of us had a hard time. there should be some helpful numbers that the hospital offered for la laque league or whichever in your area, my lil town has one so i am sure that Lethbridge has one. there is a ton of help and support!

you just keep on venting here as much as you need to. we are all here for you
Reply
post #3 of 12
11/18/06 at 2:24pm
hey girl.....where in alberta are you????
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with everything. I wonder if I am close enough to be able to help you out in one way or another. (I am in Calgary).
Reply
post #4 of 12
11/18/06 at 2:33pm
Reply
post #5 of 12
11/18/06 at 6:38pm
Oh sweaty, don't feel bad. Most of us had problems with the breastfeeding thing, especiall after the first 4-5 days. I remember my boobs hurt so much, and places I didn't even know I had breast tissue.
I also remember beineg quite sad rather than just happy and content. Part if the reason you already named, but just believe me when I tell you that there is a ton of hormonal adjustment in you that doesn't make it any easier for you to deal with other things. You are probably also sleep deprived, which also makes it hard for you to cope the way you normally would.

I know this is hard, but try to relax and just cope as well as possible. Try not to think about the bad things, or how you are going to pay your bill, etc. The bill will be there in 2 weeks to think about. Your main priority right now should be to rest, heal and enjoy your little baby. In a few weeks the world seems much easier to handle, trust me.

Get help for the breastfeeding if it doesn't get better, and try to just have a friend come over and hang out, for me that does wonders. But make sure you get a good one, one that is perfectly fine to be with you when you are not happy, but when you just need company because you are down...

Hope you feel better, soon.
Reply
post #6 of 12
11/18/06 at 6:46pm
Are you still taking your prenatal vitamins? the ones with Omega 3 fatty acid in it? If not take a multivitamin with that in it. I just read that it's supposed to help with the hormonal fluctuations after the baby is born.

It will get easier as you get into a routine. Get help for breastfeeding, there's lots of good places to get help.
Reply
post #7 of 12
11/19/06 at 2:17am
Eva's right about the breastfeeding and the emotional stuff. After I had Emily, I was in love and happy and sad all at the same time. Your hormones are shifting like crazy, so all those emotions are normal.
If you feel your baby is still hungry after breastfeeding, try giving him formula. If you want to keep working at the breastfeeding, hang in there. It takes a while for mommies and babies to get the hang of it. It's not as easy as it seems.
Also, if you think breastfeeding is not for you, there is nothing wrong with giving it up and starting your baby on formula.
We are all here to support you.
Reply
post #8 of 12
11/19/06 at 11:05am
Breastfeeding can be hard in the beginning. You might want to express some milk before the baby feeds. He may be having a hard time if you are engorged (which it sounds like you are). Def. call La Leche League. They can be great help and will often send someone right to your house. I went a leader's home when I called and she was so supportive. Hang in there, it will get easier.
Reply
post #9 of 12
11/26/06 at 4:38pm
If you are engorged the baby may be having problems with latch on. Heating pads can help reduce the pain from engorgement. Also express some milk before he eats. You can freeze it for later. No need to use every bit of it now. I have heard cabbage leaves also help, but I am thinking of getting the cool packs from Gerber this time around. Breastfeeding can be rough at first. But it does get easier. Once the engorgement goes away, you'll be in a lot less pain. It should be gone by now. I'm sorry my internet and computer were out of commission and I didn't see this earlier.

If you are still feeling depressed a couple of weeks from now, I would talk to my dr. Having a new baby is quite an adjustment especially when you are trying to breastfeed and recovering from a c-section. Lots of women need medication to help them with the depression for a little while. That was me three years ago. But once we got the hang of it, all was well and she breastfed for over two years.

I think a heating pad is a must when you are breastfeeding. I used mine every time I got plugged ducts or had any other problems and it really soothed the pain. You can also try hot showers which can help the milk release. Remember the first part is the hardest and it will get easier from here once your supply is establish and you have a routine.
Reply
post #10 of 12
11/26/06 at 5:16pm
I have nothing else to add. I think the girls gave you some good advice. I hope things are working better now for you.
Reply
post #11 of 12
11/29/06 at 6:51am
Sorry I didn't see this sooner hun. Just hang in there. The least of your worries is the bill. Don't worry about b/f either because it really does get better over time. With me, I couldn't b/f my son for the first week after he was born because of health issues, and after that, I still couldn't get him to latch on until he was 4 weeks old. He feeds like a champ now. You'll make it hun. Take care of yourself and your little one ok.
Reply
post #12 of 12
6/16/08 at 6:47pm

Re: Happy but depressed

I think all new moms have tough days. our friend went thru a lot with her new baby the best thing is to get encouragement and rest from friends and family when you can.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Postpartum
BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Pregnancy › Postpartum › Happy but depressed