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She's gone..

post #1 of 11
11/25/06 at 9:16pm
Thread Starter 
I don't know if you all remember me posting about my mother's sister. Joyce. I know I've posted some really unflattering htings about her here in the past.

She's been fighting ovarian cancer ( that spread very quickly ) for years. She died this morning. I talked to her a couple of weeks ago, more or less to say goodbye. We were ready for it. But I don't know how i feel. I'm sad that I won't be able to be there for the funeral ( can't afford to go, can't afford George to miss work). I'm sad for her daughter and son and husband and granddaughter. I'm glad she's no longer in pain, I'm sorry my mom is hurting so bad and my grandmother. I'm sorry she hurt so bad. I'm sorry it took so long, I'm sorry she had to go the way she did, feeling the way she has for years. Am I going to miss her? I don't know. I don't think so. She did so much all my life to hurt my mother. No, I don't think I will miss her. I haven't refered to her or my mother's other sister as "Aunts" in a long time, She was no longer Aunt Jo to me, she was merely Joyce. Same thing wiht Carmen. the way I see it, adding Aunt before a name is a sign of respect. I no longer respect(ed) either of them.

I don't know how ot feel, or.. if I feel much of anything other than sympathy for the rest of the family. I feel so.. cold, and I don't mean to be cold, I don't, but this is how I feel.. or.. don't, rather. I just I don't know.
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post #2 of 11
11/25/06 at 9:39pm
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post #3 of 11
11/25/06 at 10:43pm
I'm sorry Shona...
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post #4 of 11
11/25/06 at 10:44pm
I KWYM. I felt the same way when my grandmother died. I was hardly sad at all. Plus at 96, it was hardly unexpected.
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post #5 of 11
11/26/06 at 12:01am
I am sorry, Shona.
Totally understandable. I am sure I will feel this way when my mom's siblings pass away. They are simply her siblings and really nothing to me.
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post #6 of 11
11/26/06 at 3:36am
Thread Starter 
Thank you all, thank you Tammy. Yeah, there is nothing there, though I wish there was. I remember some good times with her when I was younger. But.. that's it. I guess that I hope I live my life, to where when I die, or am going to die, people aren't indifferent about it.
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post #7 of 11
11/26/06 at 2:31pm
Quote:
I guess that I hope I live my life, to where when I die, or am going to die, people aren't indifferent about it.
This really struck a chord with me. You are so right, and I couldn't agree more. That's a goal we should all have.
Of course, I have to be careful not to live my life so that when I die, or am going to die, people aren't celebrating it!
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post #8 of 11
11/26/06 at 2:55pm
Thread Starter 
I want people to celebrate. I want them to throw a party. I will no longer be of this earth, where there is pain, and hunger and loss and heartache and.. etc. etc.
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post #9 of 11
11/26/06 at 3:06pm
THAT kind of celebration would be great, but I was talking more along the lines of "Ding-dong the witch is dead!!!!" kind of thing.
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post #10 of 11
11/26/06 at 3:23pm
My Irish grandma had an Irish wake, Shona, and it was fun. Everyone got plastered and told amusing stories about her.
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post #11 of 11
11/26/06 at 10:23pm
Thread Starter 
Tammy! Yeah.. they will probably be doing that too, for me !!

Lenora, that sounds like my kind of "going away" party!
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