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Is there any parents here that have dealt with a jealous older child?

post #1 of 7
11/29/06 at 3:57pm
Thread Starter 
I'm a single mom of three kids ages almost 6, 5, and almost 7months old. My oldest, Alex, is now showing jealousy signs along with a lot of anger issues. I'm not sure how to deal with this can anyone help?
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post #2 of 7
11/29/06 at 4:03pm
I am pregnant and dealing with that with my dd right now. I don't know what to tell you. What works with my 3 year old will probably not be the same as what would work with a 6 year old. Welcome to Baby U!
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post #3 of 7
11/29/06 at 4:09pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks...Congrats on your bundle of joy!
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post #4 of 7
11/29/06 at 4:12pm
Welcome to BU!
I think jealously is natural. I would suggest getting him involved as much as possible in helping with the others, but I wouldn't do it in such a way that makes him feel burdened. I would ask him if he would like to help, or tell him you would like his help. Then make a big deal out of his help, even if it's minimal or not perfect. I would also do my best to have some time with him without the other kids, even if that means you let him stay up a little late on the weekend so that the others are in bed, but since he's the older kid, he gets special privileges--staying up late. What you know is that he is actually getting one on one with you or his dad or both.
As for the anger, I don't know. Maybe if you can give him some one on one, make him your big helper, etc, then the anger might take care of itself. The anger might actually be his way of expressing resentment.
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post #5 of 7
11/29/06 at 4:14pm
Sorry, I missed the part in your post about being a single mom. I would definitely try to employ the "stay up late" strategy. Let him do it one night a weekend, and I would not necessarily tell him it's so he can have time with you. I would tell him it's because he's the oldest, such a big helper, etc. And then when you have that time, I would tell him how glad you are that he is staying up late because you love having time just the two of you, etc. Hope that makes sense.
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post #6 of 7
11/29/06 at 4:39pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the advice, I'll have to try the staying up late! Thanks so much!
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post #7 of 7
11/29/06 at 8:24pm
Hi Lynesa! Welcome to BabyU!
I'm also a single mom of three. Mine are 10, 5, and 7 months.
My oldest who is a bit older than yours has a lot of jealousy issues. She is constantly talking about how babies are spoiled and get whatever they want and even accuses me of having more pictures of my younger two. She cried one day because my screen saver was a picture of my baby and she didn't understand why I chose that picture.
I would remind your older child of all the things he can do because he is the oldest. Also Tammy's suggestion of a few priveldges might help too.
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