Is she too young for this responsibility?

I wouldn't ask for awhile and see if it helps. Maybe it's jealousy over the baby?

This is a tough one, she is 10 but is showing sign of not being responsible. Is she doing it because she knows you will step in? probably. I would continue for a couple more days...

take mental note of where she's going wrong and inform her that if she want's more freedom as she gets older than she needs to start showing that she's responsible now.

Perhaps a reward of some sort at the end of the week for helping take care of her. Even if its just a movie and a friend over or something.....

I agree with Karen. Maybe some kind of incentive? I think she's old enough to handle the responsibility I just think she doesn't want to.

Karen and Dana have a couple of good points. It could be some jealousy. Do you have problems getting her to do other things, like chores or anything? Maybe it's just me, but it seems like she developed a little bit of an attitude about doing anything you asked her to do about the same time you got pregnant.

At 10, I probably wouldn't ask her to watch her for long periods at a time. But she should certainly be able to at least try and keep her occupied for a little while. And she's been around younger kids before, so it's not like she wouldn't know what to do.

I like the incentive idea. If she wants certain things, then she needs to start showing some responsibility and helping you out some.

i hope you can find a way to get Haley some 'her' time so her resentment can relax

I was going to say that it sounds like she is having jealousy issues.....its hard when you are as old as she is, and then all of a sudden a baby enters into the picture. She wants to have more time with you, or maybe even just more time alone with no baby around.

I would try giving her a bit of a break, and then come up with some sort of incentive to encourage her to help you out more....and if all else fails maybe you can see if she can help you more with stuff around the house instead of with the baby.....or give her a choice...ask her can you either help with say....picking up the laundry, oryou can watch Brenna for me so I can do that.

She is definitely old enough to have responsiblilities like caring for her sister for a few minutes here and there. She also definitely has jealousy issues...calling a sweet 7mo old baby a spoiled brat is a definate clue! Personally, if I were in your position I would make more time for her when the baby is sleeping and also look into getting her some counseling or counseling for the two of you. Now is the crucial years and if you don't deal with it now it is only going to get worse as she hits her teens. I wish you tons of luck Elaine!

That's right, I knew that. not enough coffee in my system yet-lol
Well, I would think that you are doing all that you can. Give her your time and love and she will come around. Also, how about enrolling Haley in a babysitting course at your local hospital? They are usually really cheap and would be great for her at this age

I agree with Dana that it's probably more jealousy than her inability to handle it. I also think Karen had great suggestions.

Also, I am NOT saying you don't do this already, but whenever Haley does watch Brenna and does a good job of it, be sure to thank her and let her know how much you appreciate it. There's a fine line, you know--Brenna technically isn't her responsibility, but as Haley's mom, it's fair of you to request and expect her help from time to time. It's not like you ask her to do this for hours while you soak in the tub or whatever. You need her help and there is nothing wrong with that at all. However, from an ten-year old's perspective, she probably feels really inconvenienced by having to be bothered with Brenna. The jealousy, I am sure, compounds that feeling. Also, I think I remember you saying that she and Shane butted heads, and that there were attitude problems when y'all were in Ohio, so all of that resentment is probably still there too, and she takes that out on Brenna. So, I would think that if she did what you asked and did a good job with Brenna, even if it's only for a few minutes, I would let her know it. I would say more than thank you, but not too much. Another fine line. I would probably say, "Haley, I really appreciate your help with Brenna. I know you don't really WANT to do this and that you do it to help me out, and that is really important to me/means a lot to me/shows you are growing up"or whatever works for you.
Kyle's cousin has a daughter that is ten, so I can relate to the attitude thing, etc. I was trying to think of what works with her.
Hope things get better soon.

Elaine, I can understand. I can't imagine how hard all this is on you, and I know having to deal with this kind of thing with Haley only makes it more difficult. Hopefully the praise/gratitude will help a little. It seems there's a lot going on with her, with her emotions and probably hormones too. I am in no way saying that what she does is right, but I am sure it's hard for her, at 10 years old, to know how to deal with all that and she probably doesn't know how to express her feelings about everything either. Hell, she might not even fully understand what is bothering her--these emotions and hormones, etc. I found that to be true a lot of the time when I taught middle school.
Anyway, I know you have your own emotional stuff to deal with, and I am so sorry you are going through this and dealing with so much.

Elaine... I have a suggestion on the time thing. When it seems like I'm not getting enough time with Tessa (and boy does she let me know) I let her stay up later one night to do stuff with me after the others go too bed. I don't know how bedtimes work there but you might try it. Another mom passed this tip on to me, and now we rotate Fridays, one child gets to stay up an hour later and get one on one time to do whatever they want in the house.