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So how do I handle this??

post #1 of 16
1/4/07 at 2:56pm
Thread Starter 
When I picked TJ up from PreK today, his teacher asks me to speak to him about getting so upset when other kids knock over his "buildings". Umm ...OK. Not sure how I feel about this. Basically, she's saying that TJ builds things, then if another kid knocks them over, he freaks out.

Perhaps not the best way to react when this happens, but can I ask WHY are other kids knocking over his buildings? I'm having a hard time seeing the point of this ....

Am I just being grumpy today??
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post #2 of 16
1/4/07 at 3:46pm
I don't think you're being grumpy, I mean unless he is freaking out extremely over it. But.. I would be a bit ticked if I built something and others continuously knocked it down.
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post #3 of 16
1/4/07 at 4:17pm
OK....would it not be better handled if the teacher were to talk to the other parents about them knocking over the things that he is building????? I mean ok we gotta teach our kids to use words when they are upset rather than actions or tantrums...but heck I would be upset too if I went through all the work to make something, just to have someone come and destroy it
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post #4 of 16
1/4/07 at 4:22pm
I would really be wondering the same thing. It’s a very valid point, and I don’t think you’re being grumpy at all to ask the question. If it’s habitually the same kids doing it to annoy him, then she needs to address that issue. I’d never encourage my kid to just let somebody else run over them. If I kept trying to build something and someone kept knocking it down, I’d get upset, too. But if it’s just an accident or an occasional thing that happens and he goes overly nuts, then it would be good to try to find out why he’s so upset. I’m surprised that she didn’t ask the kids these questions herself. Maybe she isn’t seeing what is going on and he won’t tell her why he’s upset, and she thinks maybe he’ll tell you why he’s upset.
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post #5 of 16
1/4/07 at 5:33pm
COming from a mom and a teacher at daycare Trey is so the same way. He just blows up if someone messes up what he is working on. Now it most of the time is not on purpose but it doesn't matter because he will yell at them and tell them he is not their friend any longer. He gets over it but he still needs to control his emotions.

As the teacher I would not have said anything to you like that. I would have worked with him my self in trying to help control that action. What does TJ say about it?
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post #6 of 16
1/4/07 at 6:10pm
Thread Starter 
Well my first thought was ... what can I possibly do at home if the problem is at school???? TJ says they just keep knocking his stuff over when he's making things, but I don't know all the details.
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post #7 of 16
1/4/07 at 10:25pm
My kids get mad if someone ruins their stuff. I think that is normal.
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post #8 of 16
1/4/07 at 11:09pm
It is so normal! My question is though... Is he building things and then expecting them to stay that way the rest of play time even when he's done with them or are kids knocking them down as he's playing with the blocks?
Seems like a silly thing for the teacher to want you to talk to him about either way though because you'd think it is something she deals with on a regular basis.
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post #9 of 16
1/5/07 at 2:42am
he is justifiably upset, you aren't grumpy at all.

there must be a bit more to the story, like how bad is he freaking and stuff? more details are needed i think
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post #10 of 16
1/5/07 at 8:55am
I agree with Shona. When I read this, my first thought was I wonder how the teacher would feel if she was working on something and someone purposely messed it up CONTINUALLY? It's one thing if it the things TJ builds get knocked over by accident, but IMO if kids knock his stuff over intentionally, he has every right to be mad.
I think the teacher needs to handle this. I agree, Dawn, that there's not a lot you can do since it's happening at school and you don't have all the details.
I would probably ask the teacher for more specific information, such as how often this is happening, is it intentional or accidental, is it the same kid or kids knocking TJ's buildings over, and what does she mean specifically when she says TJ gets "so upset?" Does he scream, hit, cry, what exactly happens? How long does he remain upset? I mean, if he gets mad and then gets over it really fast, what's the big deal? These teachers. . . ugh. This is why I believe even preschool teachers need some formal training and education in child development and pedagogy.
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post #11 of 16
1/5/07 at 10:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tailwaggers
This is why I believe even preschool teachers need some formal raining and education in child development and pedagogy.
Tammy, I am SOOOO with you on this!!!
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post #12 of 16
1/5/07 at 2:19pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks ladies! I gave TJ the whole "you can't get upset if something happens to one of your buildings" speech this morning, but I think that's about as far as I'm going to take it. If there's more to the story, then they need to sit down with us and discuss it, not mention it in passing as they are loading him into the car. If it's just him occasionally getting bent out of shape because somebody accidentally knocked something over, then they need to handle that there.

We'll see if they say anything else ... and for the record, I'm not the least bit impressed with the teachers this year, so I'm sure that's part of it.
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post #13 of 16
1/6/07 at 2:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tailwaggers
These teachers. . . ugh. This is why I believe even preschool teachers need some formal training and education in child development and pedagogy.
\

So what kind of Training are you suggesting for me?
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post #14 of 16
1/6/07 at 7:09pm
Considering elementary teachers have to have a four year degree, I think a two year degree, at least, is reasonable. Child psychology, pedagogy (the nature of learning, the various ways children learn), special education training (which encompasses both gifted and special-needs children), as well as classroom management, lesson planning, should be taught. I also think that student teaching is invaluable. Mentoring is important, and everyone should have guidance in how to handle parents and conferences.
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post #15 of 16
1/8/07 at 10:49am
The teacher is definitley looking at the wrong person. She should be talking to the kids that keep doing this to hiim on purpose, find out why they are doing it and if it continues then she needs to call their parents. What are you supposed to do, tell him "it is ok that the other kids knock your stuff down that you worked so hard on, and I dont want you to get mad either." That is just silly and the teacher should know better. Obviously she doesnt know how to handle it. So they easy way is just to call the parent.
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post #16 of 16
1/8/07 at 4:47pm
It's a matter of choice, really. they are good programs and bad programs. Jonathan is enrolled in two different programs. One's great, and the other is !#^%&_&(.... And the bad program is the governement program with the teachers who have the most training and education.

I have known and worked with some great teachers that didn't have degrees. Most states require that they have continuing education or workshopes that they attend every year, whether they have a degree or not. Texas and Ohio don't require degrees for their preschool and daycare teachers (although they do directors), but they do require you to have some kind of training while you're teaching.

My mom taught preschool and did daycare the entire time I was growing up, but she didn't get her degree until she was 40. And she was an excellent teacher.

But I think we are off topic from Dawn's original question.
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