Mom is still hanging in. She has good days and bad days, and days like yesterday that are a little of both.
She asked Angie yesterday how long her doctors were giving her, and Angie just told her we didn't know. Afterall, a week ago, the doctor said it would be just a matter of days, and we are at the one week mark, so we can't really say how much longer. We do know it will be soon. Home hospice tells us that, and so do Mom's friends who have lost loved ones to cancer like this. Mom has also talked a lot (mostly to Angie) about how she did her best as a mom and how she knows she said and did things she shouldn't have, but that she tried to do a good job. She talks a lot about my dad these days and has been asking to see our pastor again. I am trying to get that done. It's been harder to get him out there than I thought it would be.
Angie is going home Monday. So today I will be working my tail off trying to find someone to help me with my mom during the daytime. We have found a wonderful woman to stay with Mom overnight, every single night until the end. Can you believe it? What a blessing this woman is. She and Mom really hit it off, and Phyllis is just wonderful. At least with her there, I can go home at night and sleep in my bed and see the kids (even though they are already asleep when I get home), and I can have a little peace about leaving my mom overnight with Phyllis there. The thing is that Phyllis has to leave at 6:45 am M-F. Emily has school during the week, not to mention both she and Travis have doctor's appts, etc from time to time. Also, it's very intense just sitting there waiting. It's hard to explain or understand unless you have experienced it. So, I am trying to get something worked out for the days. Right now, my mom is just having too many good moments--where she is pretty clear and talkative and having friends come see her--and I just can't send her to inpatient hospice while she's still having those "good" (in the relative sense) moments. She's not able to move around a lot--she's not up and about much at all, she doesn't leave the house, and she does little for herself or by herself. Sometimes she can get up and get to the bathroom or to her bed on her own, but most of the time she needs help with that. It's really so heartbreaking.
Okay, well, that's it for today. I'll update more later.
Thanks again to all for the thoughts, prayers, calls, support, and concern.
She asked Angie yesterday how long her doctors were giving her, and Angie just told her we didn't know. Afterall, a week ago, the doctor said it would be just a matter of days, and we are at the one week mark, so we can't really say how much longer. We do know it will be soon. Home hospice tells us that, and so do Mom's friends who have lost loved ones to cancer like this. Mom has also talked a lot (mostly to Angie) about how she did her best as a mom and how she knows she said and did things she shouldn't have, but that she tried to do a good job. She talks a lot about my dad these days and has been asking to see our pastor again. I am trying to get that done. It's been harder to get him out there than I thought it would be.
Angie is going home Monday. So today I will be working my tail off trying to find someone to help me with my mom during the daytime. We have found a wonderful woman to stay with Mom overnight, every single night until the end. Can you believe it? What a blessing this woman is. She and Mom really hit it off, and Phyllis is just wonderful. At least with her there, I can go home at night and sleep in my bed and see the kids (even though they are already asleep when I get home), and I can have a little peace about leaving my mom overnight with Phyllis there. The thing is that Phyllis has to leave at 6:45 am M-F. Emily has school during the week, not to mention both she and Travis have doctor's appts, etc from time to time. Also, it's very intense just sitting there waiting. It's hard to explain or understand unless you have experienced it. So, I am trying to get something worked out for the days. Right now, my mom is just having too many good moments--where she is pretty clear and talkative and having friends come see her--and I just can't send her to inpatient hospice while she's still having those "good" (in the relative sense) moments. She's not able to move around a lot--she's not up and about much at all, she doesn't leave the house, and she does little for herself or by herself. Sometimes she can get up and get to the bathroom or to her bed on her own, but most of the time she needs help with that. It's really so heartbreaking.
Okay, well, that's it for today. I'll update more later.
Thanks again to all for the thoughts, prayers, calls, support, and concern.
to you all.
