How quickly things change

Here is the email update I sent this morning about my mom--and I had planned on posting it here this evening:
My mom is actually doing better. No one can explain it, and we don't know how long this will last. Yesterday, she was actually up and walking around on her own. That is something she has not done in three or four weeks.
The hospice nurse says my mom's blood pressure is great, and she is just amazed at the overall transformation. Of course, she has told me not to count on this phase lasting, but to just enjoy it while it does.
Mentally, my mom is not totally with it. She can't remember some things, and she is often hostile, angry, mean, and argumentative. There are times when she is paranoid, and she also has times where she thinks things happened that didn't. Sometimes it's as simple as her not being able to distinguish between reality and what she's dreamed. Other times, she just doesn't know what reality is. The hospice has prescribed some medication for her mood swings and paranoia, and hopefully it will start working soon. Mom doesn't know that this medicine is for that specifically. We just told her it would make her feel better because if we had told her what it was really for, she would have gone crazy!
Thanks for the concern and prayers. I'll keep updating you all.

BUT
by the time I got up there this morning--around 10:30 she was tired. She ended up sleeping from 11:45 on. This evening she looked terrible and started complaining of a sore throat. She can barely talk or make sense. The night CNA says I might need to come tonight--that she might be turning. The nurse was by today and said it can happen just that fast. More in a minute.

My tummy isn't feeling so great!
Anyway, the CNA says that the throat pain is more than likely symptomatic of the pain that is coming--cancer is painful, so she thinks this is the beginning of the pain. She said that is why the hospice nurse told me to give my mom morphine for the throat pain--it's a comfort measure.
Phyllis (night CNA) said that she thought my mom looked bad tonight, and I agreed. I thought she looked bad this morning, and she has gotten progressively worse throughout the day.
Today I told the hospice nurse that it was easy to get fooled and think my mom wasn't sick when she's so lively and seems to feel so good. The nurse told me that with lung cancer it's very common to have up and down days and then to have a couple of really good days before "going away." She says this happens often and it can be very quick. We just never know when that is coming--it could be today or she could rally again. It's truly a roller coaster.

Thank you all very much. I can't really sleep. Kyle just left for work. It's freezing cold and pouring down rain, and I can't sleep. At least so far Phyllis hasn't needed me yet.
Today is an unusual day. The day CNA can't be there, so someone new is filling in. (Talk about bad timing!) I can't be there much this morning because Emily has a program at school, which I want to go to. MIL can't pick Emily up from school because she has an appointment, so Kyle's cousin Tracy will be here with Travis. Of all the days to have all this stuff going on. Hopefully my mom will be okay, even if she's not great, and I won't feel so bad about having to be gone from 10 until 1:30 or 2.

I talked to Phyllis this morning around 6:45. She says that my mom had a restless night. She was in pain a lot--not just in her throat but also in her sides--and nervous and just not settled. She has been up sleeping on the chaise lounge on her sofa since 2:00 am. Phyllis said she thought the fill in, Rose, could "handle it," but I am worried my mom will not remember who she is and that she will panic if a familiar face is not there. So, I called Kyle just now and told him that I needed him to come home and take Emily to school and to attend her school function and pick her up from school so that I can be there with my mom today. It is going to be a long, scary day.

Thankfully one of my friends came by around noon and hung out with me for a couple of hours. My mom was happy to see her, and it was comforting to have her there. Then Kyle and Emily came over, and then my mom's friend Jackie. Then my best friend Stephanie came over and hung out with me ALL NIGHT. Kyle, his mom, and the kids came up again and all of us and Steph went for a quick bite around the corner. I just got home. Mom is hanging in, but it was not a good day. She has gone down like this before, but she always bounces back afterwards. So, since she was down Wednesday night, I thought she would be fine this morning, and she wasn't. She wasn't good all day.