I was actually insane enough to write my Dad and Stepmother an email today. I don't know what possesed me. I miss Mom today, it's the anniversary of her death. Since Dad remarried he has basically let us all go, so I feel like an orphan. I couldn't take it today so I wrote him an email... From talking to my siblings he isn't in touch with them either, Hell George and Shona weren't even aware that Dad had moved to Texas. What is the matter with him~~~ He was a ****ty father, I admit that. He was physically abusive to the older boys from what I understand and verbally and emotionally abusive to all of us. After I moved out, I called him on his **** the first time I went home to visit, and told him that if he wanted to treat me that way I would leave. He stopped... He apologized, he even tried to rebuild fences with most of us kids. My brothers, being more intelligent and less sentimental were much more skeptical then I was. But I think for awhile he even had some of them convinced that he was different person. Now he is on his third personality I guess, the I don't remember that i have kids personality. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I just want to go to Texas and knock him over the head... I doubt if he responds to the email, although she might. I have tried two other times in the past year to find out what happened and he ignores them. It pisses me off though, Mike could certainly use some support from Dad know with the Medical Board process and being put out of hte Army, George and Shona could use some help with the new baby coming... Ray has major medical problems and always will have and he is nowhere...
Here is a copy of the email
Hi Dad and Mary,
I'm just trying to figure out what has happened to you. I am sending it to you as well Mary because Dad doesn't respond to my emails, and maybe you can talk to him. I hate to even ask you to do that, because it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to be in the middle. But I am at an utter loss... This email is for Dad though
I know that I'm not the only person you aren't talking too... when I spoke to George the other day he said they hadn't heard from you in forever, he wasn't even aware you had moved to Texas. I have been trying to just let this go... You ignored my anniversary, my birthday, you only spoke to me on Christmas because I called you. You didn't acknowledge the christmas card, or the birthday card... Do you know that at this point I feel like an orphan? I'm just trying to figure out why? Why have you choosen to stop being a part of my life, the girls lives and apparently just about everyone elses? What happened to you? I'm not sure I would even know at this point if you died or something bad happened to you... I'm guessing that Mary would tell us. Yes, I'm aware that I'm a grown woman so please don't mention that. You still loved your parents, even when you were full grown and I still love you. I am hurt, and baffled and have lost trust in you... but I still love you and I always will.
I don't know if you are mad at me for being upset that Mom doesnt have a headstone or what... I had a right to be mad about that, and I don't particularly care who's fault it was yours or Rays. You were Mom's husband, and should have had one placed regardless. I'm not even mad about that anymore, I am trying to get ahold of the cemetary from here to arrange to have one because I can't live with the knowledge that no one respected my Mother enough to put a headstone on her grave. She deserves better from that from all of us, the boys, me and you. If that's why you cut me off... Sorry, but I would think you would understand, it would be like leaving your grave unmarked, or if your Mom didn't have a headstone.
So really I guess I would just like to know what the hell happened to you... How could you have worked so hard at reestablishing relationships, and mending fences with all of your children only to throw it all away? Do you know how hard it was to trust the changes in you and how nice you became? But I believed in the changes, and that you meant it when you apologized for things. You were different from when I was little, you became a well... enough of that I'm not going to harp on it.
I hope that you are okay. I hope that you and Mary are happy in your new place in Texas... You have children that are having a rough time, several of them in fact... It might be nice if you checked on the people that you created once in a while
That's it... I cut myself off, because he has always said i'm too emotional, and i can be. But he isn't emotional enough. Ahh hell, I just want to honor my promise to my Mom. I promised that I wouldn't cut Dad out after she died, does the fact that he cut us out of his life release me from that promise? Cause I don't really think it does.
Here is a copy of the email
Hi Dad and Mary,
I'm just trying to figure out what has happened to you. I am sending it to you as well Mary because Dad doesn't respond to my emails, and maybe you can talk to him. I hate to even ask you to do that, because it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to be in the middle. But I am at an utter loss... This email is for Dad though
I know that I'm not the only person you aren't talking too... when I spoke to George the other day he said they hadn't heard from you in forever, he wasn't even aware you had moved to Texas. I have been trying to just let this go... You ignored my anniversary, my birthday, you only spoke to me on Christmas because I called you. You didn't acknowledge the christmas card, or the birthday card... Do you know that at this point I feel like an orphan? I'm just trying to figure out why? Why have you choosen to stop being a part of my life, the girls lives and apparently just about everyone elses? What happened to you? I'm not sure I would even know at this point if you died or something bad happened to you... I'm guessing that Mary would tell us. Yes, I'm aware that I'm a grown woman so please don't mention that. You still loved your parents, even when you were full grown and I still love you. I am hurt, and baffled and have lost trust in you... but I still love you and I always will.
I don't know if you are mad at me for being upset that Mom doesnt have a headstone or what... I had a right to be mad about that, and I don't particularly care who's fault it was yours or Rays. You were Mom's husband, and should have had one placed regardless. I'm not even mad about that anymore, I am trying to get ahold of the cemetary from here to arrange to have one because I can't live with the knowledge that no one respected my Mother enough to put a headstone on her grave. She deserves better from that from all of us, the boys, me and you. If that's why you cut me off... Sorry, but I would think you would understand, it would be like leaving your grave unmarked, or if your Mom didn't have a headstone.
So really I guess I would just like to know what the hell happened to you... How could you have worked so hard at reestablishing relationships, and mending fences with all of your children only to throw it all away? Do you know how hard it was to trust the changes in you and how nice you became? But I believed in the changes, and that you meant it when you apologized for things. You were different from when I was little, you became a well... enough of that I'm not going to harp on it.
I hope that you are okay. I hope that you and Mary are happy in your new place in Texas... You have children that are having a rough time, several of them in fact... It might be nice if you checked on the people that you created once in a while
That's it... I cut myself off, because he has always said i'm too emotional, and i can be. But he isn't emotional enough. Ahh hell, I just want to honor my promise to my Mom. I promised that I wouldn't cut Dad out after she died, does the fact that he cut us out of his life release me from that promise? Cause I don't really think it does.
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HE is such a butthead... why do I bother? But it was good to get it out even though I'm sure he won't respond.
