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A question (mostly for stay at home moms)

post #1 of 15
4/9/07 at 3:37pm
Thread Starter 
Do you ever feel like your entire identity is "Mom"? I've been in such a rut lately and have really been feeling a need to get out and do grown up things. I just don't have any grown up things to do, no one to do them with, and no one to watch the kids if I did.
What do you do to feel like something other than "mom" all the time?
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post #2 of 15
4/9/07 at 3:55pm
Yep, I definitely feel like my entire identity is "mom." I don't get to go out without the kids either, unless I've got an appointment. So I make sure that I get my shower everyday, that helps me feel like a human LOL. And I've got other mom friends, that really helps.
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post #3 of 15
4/9/07 at 4:13pm
I don't feel like Mom all the time. I have my sewing and crafts. I love to read. I love coming here and talking to you guys. In a lot of ways, I feel like I have the ideal life for me. I write when I want to. I try to teach my girls stuff and do stuff with my family.

I think of myself as a veteran and a college graduate more than as a mother. I am all those things, but being a veteran seems to dominate my life more because of my MS which I got from military service. I also "hang out" more with vets IRL.

Maybe it's because becoming a mother is a relatively new thing for me. I wasn't a mother for 37 years before.
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post #4 of 15
4/9/07 at 4:19pm
Thread Starter 
I can see how that would make a difference Lenora. I started motherhood 20 years earlier than you did and feel I skipped the period of my life where I would have really found myself and my identity. I wouldn't change any of it now but I still sometimes feel like I missed out on things.
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post #5 of 15
4/9/07 at 4:19pm
Even though I am out in the real world I am still with kids all day. I dont feel like mom, but I do feel like a personal maid. How bad is that?
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post #6 of 15
4/9/07 at 4:34pm
Yes I feel like mom 24/7 I have once in months went out and gotten some me time and it went well ut it was short lived. I feel like I am constantly cleaning noses, house things etc.
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post #7 of 15
4/9/07 at 4:40pm
I do feel like Mom most of the time...but I do have my best friend that I try and get out with about once every month or so.
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post #8 of 15
4/9/07 at 4:55pm
I only get out a couple days a week and only for like 5 hours each time. I feel like a mom a lot, and sometimes it's hard to remember I'm ME and a wife too. Luckily I have DH to make me feel like a woman and not just "mom" most days.
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post #9 of 15
4/9/07 at 7:43pm
My momsmeetup group on Yahoo. They do a moms night out now and then, and then they throw cropping parties and passion parties and things like that. Not all of it revolves around our kids. I love my group. I have made some really good friends through it.
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post #10 of 15
4/10/07 at 1:31am
i rarely feel like 'mom' he doesn't usually want or expect much from me.

it is slave to dh that i feel
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post #11 of 15
4/10/07 at 7:10am
I get that way alot Elaine... That is what prompted me to go back to school, so I would be something besides Mom. I also try to get out by myself for a few hours at least once a month.
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post #12 of 15
4/10/07 at 10:14am
i'm right in the same position you are! i do feel like a mom and i have NO other friends here (mainly bc i left Texas where i was for 20 yrs after i got married to a canadian) and so i feel so darn lonely!. and husband works all the time so im home alone, dont have anywhere to go to and i never ever leave the house without the baby (which doesnt bother me) but yah, its rough! i feel so depressed soetimes... =(
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post #13 of 15
4/10/07 at 10:20am


Elaine, I did spend a lot of time trying to find myself before my girls where born. Maybe that is the difference.
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post #14 of 15
4/10/07 at 12:09pm
i feel that way too.. but dh and I have been getting out together without the kids usually for a couple hours every week or every other week.
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post #15 of 15
8/11/10 at 7:50pm

Re: A question (mostly for stay at home moms)

Every parent needs ME time. Take time for yourself and don't feel guilty.
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