BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Ages & Stages › Parenthood › How did you know you were done?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How did you know you were done?

post #1 of 21
5/4/07 at 9:50pm
Thread Starter 
and I don't want the *we just knew* answer.

Kev tossed out at me whether he should go get snipped. We have Never really discussed kids formally.

All I told him at the time was that I wasn't ready to do anything peramant. He said he just knew that I didn't want one again right now. (meaning getting pregger right now) and I don't cause I don''t want another Winter baby. I want a spring baby.

BUT I'm not really sure I want another. I an really content with the three I have and don't really have baby urges. I am loving every moment I have with the girls.

BUT If I have another I'd prefer to do it sooner - rather than later. I wanted to be done by the time I was 30 - but then I'd have to be preggo by the end of July to make that happen.

BUT I don't really want to be pregnant if P needs surgery. I want to be there for her 110%.

So anyways - I'm not in any position to do something permant. But after not having my car this week and having all the girls in Kev's car made me think about it. If we had one more - we'd HAVE to always have an SUV or Van etc.

So give me some pros (those of you with 4+) to having that many. I see nothing wrong with it and Kev is willing to do whatever *I* want to do (which to me is the wrong way to think - so we really need to sit and chat)
Reply
post #2 of 21
5/4/07 at 11:05pm
We knew when I had to have yet another emergency c-section. I had always figured that two would be enough for me....but finding out that I would never be able to have a natural birth....then Two was sure enough for me!!
Reply
post #3 of 21
5/4/07 at 11:06pm
With everything we went through with losing Brandon and the stress of the pregnancys with Austin and Connor not knowing to beleive the doctors if there really was something wrong with Brandon, (which there wasnt). We felt truly blessed to have 2 beautiful, healthy boys, that I honestly was scared to keep going. Now I really wish I wouldnt have had my tubes tied and, I wish we would have had another baby.
I have a girlfriend that lives in Ajax, Ont. and her and her husband thought they were done after baby number 2, then #3, the #4, and baby # 5 is due in three weeks! And they are all girls, even #5!
Reply
post #4 of 21
5/4/07 at 11:13pm
Thread Starter 
Well see - no offence to you guys but you guys have those *other reasons*

There really is no medical reason we should stop. P's condition isn't heriditary - so While I would probably worry it would most likly be ok.

Huge to you Jenn for having to go through the loss of Brandon. I have been blessed with 3 beautiful daughters and haven't had to go through a loss (nor has anyone I'm close to)

All my pregnancies have been a breeze. (for the most part) so no worry of emergancy c-section - I think we'd have a bigger worry of delivering at home

So I guess maybe I'm in the boat of Ya just know when you're done.
Reply
post #5 of 21
5/5/07 at 1:56am
I honestly 'knew' I never wanted anymore kids, the mere thought of it gave me the screaming heebee geebies, when I suspected I might have been pg I spent several nights having nightmares about being pg with giant leeches and vampire babies, I don't usually have nightmares at all. I ended up going to the dr's for a pg test with thank the heavens was negative (turns out stress can stop your periods, it never had before but it did that time, the boys were only 4 months old at the time, I was in a terrible spot)

I actually sat myself down one day and thought about what would happen if something happened to one of my kids, would I then want another?? And I realised that the answer was a heartfelt NO, having anotherr child would never replace the one we had (hypothetically) lost and I realised that I was not "tempting fate" by having my tubes tied (I went thrru a few weeks were I had the idea that by having my tubes tied I was tempting the fates to hurt my babies by declaring that I didn't want anymore children)

Don't know if this helps at all but that is how we knew we done.
Reply
post #6 of 21
5/5/07 at 3:27am
Karen... I can understand how you are feeling, Jim says it's up to me whether we are done or not, and I go back and forth. I have decided to have my tubes tied after my surgery this summer (not before because it would interfere with getting the surgery). That being said I still want more kids one day. We decided that after we go back to the states and I have my degree we will adopt however many more kids we want. I can't give a specific number because I just don't know. The difference I guess is that Jim and I knew we wanted a large family when we got married, he jokes about having 99 kids. Then for a long time we were told we would never have kids, and then we got blessed with our miracles. Now we are just at a point where yes, we could have more natural children but there are so many kids out there who needs homes that just speaks more to our hearts than going thru more pregnancies. Wow that was long winded... and I'm not sure I answered your question. I came from a big family (5 kids) and Jim from medium (3 kids). We see having a bigger family (as big as we can provide for) as a bonus for all concerned, more love and fun... Yes, more work too, but the kids are getting old enough to help out with that end of things.
Reply
post #7 of 21
5/5/07 at 9:15am
Thread Starter 
Thanks Maree & Heather. You guys have helped.

I know I'm not ready to make apermant decision any time soon. Just trying to weigh my options and see what helped others decide.

A huge part of me want to wait until we find out if P need surgery before even trying. And I know I am young enough to have more - so I'm out runing against the clock.
Reply
post #8 of 21
5/5/07 at 9:52am
i'm not sure !!! sorry i still throw it up in the air !!!
Reply
post #9 of 21
5/5/07 at 11:07am
I am in the boat of having medical problems. I went threw fertility treatments and lost 2 before I ended up pregnant with Logan (my miracle baby). I knew I didnt want to ever go threw that again. With PCOS I would go months without my period and didnt want to worry about if I was pregnant or not. It was very stressful. I also knew I didnt want anymore with Ed. Since I was already having a section I got got my tubes tied. But I am glad I did. Even now being divorced and even if I do ever meet someone I am done having kids. Had I been in a happy marriage with no health issues it might have been differant. We have to do what is right for us and our individual needs.
Reply
post #10 of 21
5/5/07 at 11:53am
The first few months of the twins' lives, I wanted another. I kept telling Daniel just one more, I want a boy, or even twin boys

But now they're teething and going through a growth spurt and clingy stage. I'm DONE. Daniel will be getting snipped (unfortunately there's a year long wait!). I realized that I just can't handle another, and financially there's no way we could handle another. And I honestly don't want to go through another pregnancy. I don't want to gain the weight and have to worry about losing it after. I'm being selfish here, but I love the weight I'm at now and I just don't want to risk not being able to lose it LOL.
Reply
post #11 of 21
5/5/07 at 11:57am
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys! I don't care if your reasons are *selffish* I am just curious as to the reasons people decide so I make sure I weigh all my options before making a permanant decision.

Reply
post #12 of 21
5/5/07 at 12:30pm
If it wasnt for medical reasons I would have liked to have had 3-4 kids.
Reply
post #13 of 21
5/5/07 at 1:07pm
i always thought i wanted at least two. but medical stuff and a miscarriage taught me that one is enough
Reply
post #14 of 21
5/5/07 at 4:41pm
I wanted 5 and dh wanted none. (told me after we were married.) I got Brittany and he was so happy he change his mind. THen I wanted a second and we were happy with those two. We honestly knew that financially 2 was our limit so we had his procedure done. Really I would love another but thank goodness I work in day care because baby Makena is giving me my baby fill to a point. If you might want another then hold off on the permanant choices till you are positive. Now a days women have kids after 30 and it is fine. I can see you with more.
Reply
post #15 of 21
5/5/07 at 5:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jannie
If you might want another then hold off on the permanant choices till you are positive. Now a days women have kids after 30 and it is fine.
Well we are holding out - at least until we get used to one store and get into our new routines.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jannie
I can see you with more.
That means alot to me since so many family members think we should be done.
Reply
post #16 of 21
5/5/07 at 7:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DQKaren
That means alot to me since so many family members think we should be done.
Personally it doesn't matter what others think. As long as you are providing for your family and are happy together then it is no one elses business. I remember others having the same problems when they say they are pregnant again.



On a personal note what are you doing mothers day?
Reply
post #17 of 21
5/5/07 at 10:23pm
Thread Starter 
Workin - what else would I be doin
Reply
post #18 of 21
5/6/07 at 1:27pm
Well I am going to the zoo if you are interested. Moms get in free.
Reply
post #19 of 21
5/6/07 at 2:51pm
Thread Starter 
well I am but I have to work til 5 so I don't think I will be able to go
Reply
post #20 of 21
5/6/07 at 5:27pm
That sucks. We should plan something else.
Reply
post #21 of 21
5/6/07 at 6:06pm
Thread Starter 
definitly plan something!
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenthood
BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Ages & Stages › Parenthood › How did you know you were done?