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Need some advice. Am I being selfish?

post #1 of 15
6/20/07 at 9:58am
Thread Starter 
Can someone help me sort this out?

My In-laws are needy. Thank God they live 4 hours away. FIL is 77 and MIL is 58. FIL is in better shape than MIL b/c MIL is so overweight that she doesn't do anything but sit in a chair and ask people to wait on her hand and foot - including her hubby.

Well, FIL had a knee replacement two weeks ago and was in the hospital for a week afterward for rehab. The doctor kept him in rehab on purpose before sending him home b/c he knew that he wouldn't get much help at home from his wife.

Now FIL is home. My BIL has been helping out after work and stuff. My hubby went out this week to help out. He is cooking meals, running errands, grocery shopping, etc.

I understand helping family and believe in it, but I also get frustrated b/c we have a 7 month old baby at home. I am having a bad week without hubby here. I think he should have gone out for the surgery and all, but leaving his wife and baby at home for a week is just too much.

How would some of you react to this? Am I being a big baby? Would you let your hubby leave you for a week (5 days)? I just don't like being alone and need a break.

I just wish the in-laws would solicit help from their church and other family members. My MIL's sister doesn't work and could help out. They also have other family who could help. Instead, they have their sons doing everything - and both sons work and my hubby has a family 4 hours away.
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post #2 of 15
6/20/07 at 10:35am
no question I would send my DH to help his parents. The work needs to be split up among the family that CAN help and if your DH can help then he should.

Being home with a baby is tough but having knee replacement is tougher.
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post #3 of 15
6/20/07 at 11:17am
I'd have to agree with Mel and say that I would allow (insist) that DH go help his family. I myself am an extremely needy person and I HATE being left alone but there are times when you just have to suck it up and be supportive.
Being stuck at home taking care of the baby by yourself IS hard but it's only going to be for a short while. I hope the time goes quickly for you.
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post #4 of 15
6/20/07 at 11:18am
I'm sorry, I agree with Mel. I would want my dh to go help his family as well. Don't think that I wouldn't whine about it to my girlfriends though!
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post #5 of 15
6/20/07 at 11:19am
OH I would whine...lots
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post #6 of 15
6/20/07 at 11:23am
i would want dh to go and help out his parents, but for sure i would be whining and complaining to my friends.

we are here for you to vent to

i'm glad your inlaws live four hours away. just think if they were closer how many times you would have had to sacrafice your dh. Mine used to live an hour away and dh was there every day off helping out with something. drove me nuts!
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post #7 of 15
6/20/07 at 11:29am
I'd be whining as well, but I think he did the right thing by going to help out. Feel free to spend some time here with us while you're waiting for him to come home though!
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post #8 of 15
6/20/07 at 11:54am
My Dh is gone LOTS for a week here and there and he's done it ever since the first child was born (and not for family). IT sucks and whining helps.

For family I would also insist that he goes to help out.
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post #9 of 15
6/20/07 at 12:14pm
I would have my dh go and help out too.....BUT I would hope that other family members would also be helping out as much as they can too.......And you can bet your booty that I would be right here posting, and complaining too
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post #10 of 15
6/20/07 at 12:54pm
I agree with Mel, I would send my DH to help out his parents. It is only for one week, and he will be back before you know it!
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post #11 of 15
6/20/07 at 2:51pm
Thread Starter 
Well, thanks for listening and your feedback. Also, thank for allowing me to whine about it.

I think about those in the military who have spouses overseas and don't see them for months. I need to suck it up!
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post #12 of 15
6/20/07 at 5:06pm
You'll be fine and he'll be back before you even know it.
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post #13 of 15
6/20/07 at 5:12pm
Suck it up all you want.... But you still have the right to whine on here! I whine ALL the time, ask anyone. I know it's hard but he is doing the right thing. So are you by not being a witch about it... That's what this site is for all the whining and complaining.
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post #14 of 15
6/28/07 at 10:54am
I agree with Mel, too. Your husband is doing the right thing.
My mom just died in February. She was on home hospice for three weeks and very sick with cancer. During that time, my son was 3 months old. I was with my mom every day during those three weeks, from early in the morning until after midnight many nights, and never home before my baby and my daughter (and husband) were in bed. I stay overnight several times. My DH works full time, and he took off work when I needed him to, and my MIL looked after the kids while he was at work. Not once did anyone say a word to me about the work they took on so I could be with my mom. And it's a good thing they didn't.
I know it's hard for you, but you can do this. Your husband needs to be there helping out.
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post #15 of 15
6/28/07 at 1:48pm
I would let DH go
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