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when did u feel complete ?

post #1 of 16
9/10/07 at 1:50pm
Thread Starter 
how did u and your dh know when you where done ? you felt complete ? there are days that i would love top have another baby but on somedays forget it !!!!
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post #2 of 16
9/10/07 at 2:09pm
I knew the whole pregnancy with Joshua that I was done. I dreaded everything about the pregnancy. I barely have time to breathe with 6 kids so I don't have the time for another.
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post #3 of 16
9/10/07 at 4:01pm
We're 99.9999% sure we're done. I wasn't sure I ever wanted kids when I met DH and now that we have Gabe I can't imagine life without him but I also just feel like this is it. This is my family and it feels good. We also are taking in to consideration time, money and Mike's health possibilities. Money shouldn't be the deciding factor but it IS a factor can ya afford another one? (general you not YOU you )

We agreed to not do anything permanent for 5 years so I got the Mirena IUD but this weekend we did talk about the big V sooner for Mike. So maybe it will only be a 2 year wait before we do it.

I think the decision is so different for everyone it's hard to put your finger on exactly what decides it for some people.

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post #4 of 16
9/10/07 at 4:11pm
There are times that I feel my family is complete. But then way deep inside I KNOW that it is not. We WILL have more despite some family members disapproving. But since they do not live with us or very rarely get together I don't really care what they think.

I always wanted to be done by the time I was 30 but sicne we are waiting for the next one due to P's kidney issues - it won't happen and that's ok to me.

I think it is VERY important to talk and LISTEN to your spouse. Wether they want more or not it really needs to be BOTH of your decision and not just one or the other. Kevin has told me whenever I want to be done - let him know and he will go get snipped. I'm not in any hurry to be *done* and know that I will just *know * when the time comes.
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post #5 of 16
9/11/07 at 9:55am
Thread Starter 
i have no problem supporting all my kids ...tara i hear you with not being able to breathe ..i only have 4 and feel like that some days .. i have the iud in so i am good for awhile .. there are jsut some days i feel like i wanna have more just wondering if i was the only wacko out there
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post #6 of 16
9/11/07 at 10:22am
I don't think you're wacko for wanting more. Everyone's family is different and everyone has different markers for it.

Heck I know a woman with 8 kids and she's not done. I think she's wacky but not because of her kids...well maybe they contribute to it She's one of the most put together people I know.
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post #7 of 16
9/11/07 at 12:39pm
We know we want one more. No, we can't afford another kid, we can't afford the ones we have sometimes. And no, not anytime soon, but we can't wait too much longer because of my age and complications. If the last baby is a boy, well.. then, that's just that. No more. Done, finished, complete. Snip, cut, tie, burn, sever, remove...you get the point. Six is quite enough thank you very much.
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post #8 of 16
9/11/07 at 3:16pm
DH and i Have both thought about having more but it won't be till my current to are in school. So we got at least 3 more years. I feel like a nut for wanting more but I just love my kids when they aren't driving me totally crazy!!!!!
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post #9 of 16
9/11/07 at 3:34pm
Michelle, be careful asking that question! I asked the same question and was unexpectedly pregnant a few months later! I wondered a lot about this before I got pregnant with Travis, and decided that if I was asking myself this, then I must not have felt overwhelmingly compelled to have another baby. I decided one was enough, and then I ended up getting pregnant unexpectedly. I knew with the second pregnancy that I was finished having babies. I had Travis in October, and Kyle had a vasectomy in December. My hat is off to you, Tara, Shona, and all the other ladies on the boards who have lots of babies! You are all wonderwomen to me!
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post #10 of 16
9/11/07 at 3:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shona
We know we want one more. No, we can't afford another kid, we can't afford the ones we have sometimes. And no, not anytime soon, but we can't wait too much longer because of my age and complications. If the last baby is a boy, well.. then, that's just that. No more. Done, finished, complete. Snip, cut, tie, burn, sever, remove...you get the point. Six is quite enough thank you very much.
Shona! I love the last couple of lines. You are too much woman!
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post #11 of 16
9/11/07 at 3:58pm
I have to put my two sense in here. Coming from my side of life! I was married 12 years met my husband when I was 19. I told a close friend when I has 15 years old when I was 30 I would have my first and only child. At 30 I had my son I regret having said "only" after Jimmy I wanted another so very badly and my husband at the time did not. We divorced, I accidently got pregnant with Jaedyn by my boyfriend. I DO NOT EVER regret it, I LOVE HER so much! While pregnant with Jaedyn her father and I broke up and I mean the relationship was over. My decision then weighed heavily on these facts: what if????????

What if I met someone else fell in love and married this person and wanted a child with him? What about morals? I had to set all that aside and decide what was best for me in my life at that current time. I made the decision to my tubes tied. The hospital accidentally removed my epidural prior to the surgery and couldn't perform without having to do the epidural again. This gave me an opporunity to change my mind because after seeing her, feeling her and knowing how much love no matter who's child it is I wanted to be able to have another if I was able to. Meaning in a better position of not being a single parent and in a very loving relationship. You just never know the out come of the decisions we make in life.......
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post #12 of 16
9/11/07 at 5:35pm
I also meant to clarify that Travis is precious, and I would not change a thing. Just because I didn't expect to have him doesn't mean that I don't want him. He is a total blessing and such a joy!
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post #13 of 16
9/11/07 at 9:17pm
After losing Molly I was obsessed to say the least. I was hours post delivery and talking to my doctor about when we could try again. Zachariah was born 17 months later and I knew even when I was pregnant with him that I wanted "to have" another baby. Noah was born 21 months after Zachariah and I never felt that desire to be pregnant in the same way again. Sometimes I see pregnant women and think how I miss it or I see a new baby and think about how I loved it when mine were babies, etc. But I don't feel the physical "need" to do it again. I've got to confess that I'm scared to lose another one and it weighs heavily on my heart. I don't necessarily think I won't have another child. That door is always open but I would lean more towards adoption. Maybe an infant, maybe an older child. I worried for two pregnancies and just don't think I can do that again.
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post #14 of 16
9/12/07 at 1:01am
I had two at once, what more could I ask for?
Gary and I feel that our family is complete and have felt that way since the day the girls were born, they are what we needed for our family.
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post #15 of 16
9/12/07 at 9:47am
Right now I'm focusing on the two I have. After miscarrying, I'm a little apprehensive about having another one. I had a lot of pregnancy issues and darn near died after having Lauren, I'm not certain I'm up for that again at my age. However, I would adopt in a heartbeat.
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post #16 of 16
9/14/07 at 1:45pm
I feel like two is enough for us. I don't think I'm able to spread myself that thin between more children. There's too many deployments coming up for DH and I really don't want to raise 3 or 4 on my own so two is enough!
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