Very distrubing and not sure how to handle

Do you think maybe the guidance counselor felt the story was fabricated? They obviously would know if she had a sister right? Maybe she felt the need to tell you about it and just incase their was some truth to it, approached it this way??

I'd be disturbed too. I don't know a child out there that hasn't told a lie now and again but this seems to go beyond the nature of a child and in to a definite cry for... attention? help?

I have no real words of advice for you on this one Dawn, other than to take to a therapist and see whats going on.

Ooohhh... I wasn't even considering she could be talking about Natasha.
Have you talked to Jessi about it yet?

Dawn, maybe just tell the guidance counselor about her half sister and ask her advice?

I agree with Heather.

I would definitly let the school know that Jessi does have a half sister, and that infact she has not passed away. I would let them know though that you are trying to get her in to see someone, as they may try to do some of their own 'counseling'. Kwim? I'd rather have a doctor talk to her, than someone who has no actual medical degree.

She has obviously drawn out an entire story, if they were saying that her sister was ill and so forth. So this may have been going on for quite some time.

It does sound like a cry for some kind of attention though.

I'm sorry.. this must be rough.

I agree with Heather. I would tell the guidance counselor the situation, but I would not recommend asking her to talk to Jessi. I mean, she is obviously going through something, and it will embarass her to face the counselor, with the counselor knowing she made it all up. It's going to be tough enough for her to deal with the fall out from this. I would definitely get her into private therapy.

i hope you can figure out why she is saying this kind of thing. your 'symbolic' death makes some sense to me

I would definately talk to the guidance counsellor and let them know what is going on. As for them saying that none of the other stuff is going on, have they even bothered to talk to Jessi's friends? I am so sorry that she is going through this again this year

When the teachers and the counselors say this is not going on, I would ask them how they know. I mean, are they privy to every social interaction that goes on every minute of the school day? Are they on the bus, in the hall, in the bathroom, can they see and hear all? Give me a break!
I don't know Dawn--I think therapy would be good. I feel so bad for her. I am sorry y'all are going through this.
Have you considered private school?

ugg... Can I come smack those teachers/counselors etc... Like Tammy said, they aren't witnessing every minute of every day. The horrible thing is, now it will be even worse when they kids find out that she made that up... I wish I had some advice for you other than counseling for her, but I really don't. I was one of the shy, akward, big chested, larger than the others kids myself.

It sounds like she has really talked herself into a corner that she cant get out of on her own. Has she had a classmate go thru the death of a sibling? Has she seen it on a tv program? I think you need to let the school know that her sibling has not died, but that she has cut herself off from the family which may explain the loss Jessi is feeling and if you feel it is better for her to see a private councilor (probably a good idea as the guidance councillor has not proven to be very understanding in the past which would make it hard for Jessi to trust her) then simply tell the school that you are sending her to a private councillor and that you know they will do everything in their power to help Jessi thru this difficult time

A private councillor can really be a big help because they are "on your side", No matter what you tell them, they always see things from your angle (or at least the act like they do) and help you thru it.

I'm sorry that Jessi feels so alone and alienated from the children at school that she feels the only way she can gain some sympathy and understanding from the little trolls she goes to school with is to make up such a heartbreaking story.

I'm sorry this happened to you, it is the worst feeling when your children are hurting and you cannot do anything that seems to help. She is at the age now where parents are just background noise, she knows you love her and think she is the best and brightest, but she also feels that you don't know anything because you are out of touch because you are so 'ancient'. Her peers are the be all and end all and their opinion can cut deeply, the other kids probably have absolutely no idea how much they have hurt her. (But we will whup their arses for them anyway, horrible little know nothing trolls that they are)

If she is taller and more ungainly than her classmates she must be starting puberty earlier (it does take approximately 10 years from whoa to go) so in a couple of years when they are going thru the gangly aterpiller stage she will alreaady be a beautiful butterfly

Jessi will come around again, but as the parent it feels like forever. I don't know if you remember all the trouble we've had with TK but he has come out the other side and actually talks to us about how he feels and is doing well. He has made plans for his future and no longer feels like everybody hates him.

You and Jessi will make it thru this And while you are working thru the situation we will be here for you as you have been here for so many of us

As usual, Maree said it best!
Also, I wanted to suggest that you ask the counselor and her teacher to let the subject of the "sister's death" drop. What I mean by that is, that they not mention any more of it to Jessi, and that they not say another word about it to her classmates. Her classmates don't need to know anything. I am not saying to perpetuate the fabrication--definitely let the counselor and her teacher know that it isn't true, but just ask them to leave it alone. There's no need for them to tell Jessi that they know she made it up, and certainly, they don't need to tell her classmates she did that.

Seeing a private therapist did wonders for Haley! I honestly wish we could have taken Jim to Ohio with us. I rarely knew what went on in her sessions but I think that is what made her so comfortable... she felt like she had an alli who was really on her side and cared about how she felt.

Too bad Jessi can't understand at this point in life how her awkwardness is going to be considered beauty later on in life.
for you both!

(But we will whup their arses for them anyway, horrible little know nothing trolls that they are)
I love Maree.

And i agree with Maree and Tammy ( was it tammy?)
I would tlak to the councilor and the teacher and just have them drop this. There is no need for Jessi to have her friends know. The people who need to know will.
I was the butt of MANY MANY MANY Mean girls jokes, etc. And my teachers never saw any of it. But my mom believed me and that was more to me than anything. Good luck honey.

i really hope that the school is sincere in wanting to get down to the bottom of the bullying and name calling. I dont' know how things work for you guys...but up here the is a zero tolerance policy on anything like that and MOST schools try to deal with it right away

Well I'm glad that they didn't feel the need to tell everyone that it wasn't true... I have seen that type of thing happen.
I hope they can really do something about the bullying...

What the heck grade is this? I find it hard to believe that this is going on and the teacher does NOT know. It may take me longer than one of the kids to find out about stuff but I do. And stuff like Jessi is going through would not happen in my classroom without me knowing.

Does she change classes? I know we do and that makes it harder to keep tabs on the kids b/c they come and go throughout the day.

Re: Very distrubing and not sure how to handle

You can't blame the kid for this. If the teachers and the administrators won't stop the bullying then she did what she thought would work and it did work for a day, right? Kids will do crazy things to get what they want and her she wanted one day of peace, something everyone on this earth deserves. Taking her to a psychiatrist is just going to implant the thoughts in her mind that now on top of being tall, and skinny she has something wrong with her head too. When in fact she does not. What you need to do is get her a small tape recorder and when these bullies start bullying her have her turn it on in her pocket and record them doing. Bullying is a crime in most if not all states for the fact that so many kids end up committing suicide. The teachers is to blame cause they know what's going on but they are overwhelmed with so many tasks they simply don't care to take action if kids call each other names but they fail to realize that it's repetitive name calling that is damaging the kids self esteem. So they won't be forced to do anything until you have proof other than he said she said proof. If you go to the principal with a recording of them bullying your kid and they do nothing about it then you have a law suit and you take it to the Board of Education. Yes this is sad that this is what our school systems have come to but it's not just in your area, it's all over the country. I hope this helps everyone with bullying.