Abuse issues need opinions on how I handled this

Say a child comes to you and tells you that an adult grabed their head and shook them. Now you confront the adult and they tell you they do not remember doing that. So you call the other adult that was present and are told first it never happened, second they ask you for details surrounding the claim, and third they ten tell you the child over exggereted it?

Say this was all over asking for a glass of milk and then again for leaving the door open. Say the offender has a history of abuse. Has done things to you, not pysical though, and denies they ever did it? Who do you believe? The child and the the witness child? The offender and their witness?

Say the offender is a parent of the child. and the witness the sig other of the parent. Yes kids lie. Yes they exaggerate. But in my expiearance the child usually lies about disicpline from the sig other not the parent.

Now as a smart adult you search for answers. You take no one at face value and you get the facts. does not mean you believe one or th other but would you want this child to tell another party and then that party make calls? Or would you want the facts straight and deal with the child for lieing or deal with the adult for being abusive toward a child?

The sig other seemed more woried about what was going to be done about the abse then making sure the children were safe. The SO was very quick to defend the offender. Will the cycle ever break?

At times I feel like the bad person for seeking answers but I have a right to know and to protect my children. How can a mther not see that protecting the children is the most important thing we can do for our children?

Sorry just really frustrated. But what would you do as the protector of the children?

I talked to them again last night about it and about lieing. The detials have not changed. Sam swears the GF was there and saw it. He is on warning and if it happens again they will not go back till it is investigated. Logan has a session today with his therapist so we will see how she feels I handeled it and what I should do.

Thats the thing Heather, it will never end. But this is recent that he has started in on logan and in the past it has all been verbal and emotional. Never physical. THis is the second weekend visit he has done something to logan physically. And out of anger. He asked him for a glass of milk and left the door open. Those where when he got the head shakings. 2 weekends before he didnt hear Ed say something to him so Ed got angry with him and grabbed him by the ear. He squeezed it and jerked it and then said "next time you will listen to me". Those are typical of him when he is angry. But not the phsycial part. The yelling and name calling and belitteling are. The touching him out of anger are the next step. The GF doesnt want to believe this is an escilating pattern for Ed or wont admit it. I only called her bc I needed to know my kids were safe. If he really doesnt remember doing those things then he needs more help then I thought. If I push too hard that will make it worse for the kids. If I stood by and did not say anything he would continue. Lets just hope by me sying something it will stop. If not I toldhim he willlose his visitation.

Yes I had copied and pasted a bulletin I did on myspace looking for opinions. I had felt really unnerved after talking to her. She made me feel like I was blowing it out of porption. SHe went from denial to wanting details to saying it was exagerated. And she asked several times what I was going to do about it. I know what it is. She doesnt want me to call child servies and report it bc that means they would bein her house.

Logan had his session today. With the therapist's help I am going to call CPS if anything else happens. Weather it be emotional, or physical. What people do not understand is me confronting him may have been enough of a wake up call. And confronting her makes it know I will not tolerate it and unless she wants CPS knocking on her door she had better make sure it doesnt happen. The problem with Ed is when he is told her has done something wrong he ggets angry. The kids go with him again tomorrow for dinner. We have formulated a plan even if he gets bck under control the counselour wants at him just have to be careful how it is done. I just want him to be a dad and cut all the bs out.

Well he is out of chances and CPS will be called if anything else goes wrong. I know the GF doesnt want them in her house from her reaction so she can be reported also if anything else happens. THey are there for dinner tonight and dont go back again till monday.