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Do you still buy christmas together?

post #1 of 8
12/18/07 at 5:40pm
Thread Starter 
The agreement this year was that we would just do Christmas together. I shouldn't have done that because I have totally gotten screwed. Right now he is supposed to be sending me $2000 a month.... $1000 for child support plus since we are still legally married I get the housing allowance. He ended up sending me $1500 with the promise of more on the 15th. So I went out and bought Christmas. He has bought 3 things. A camera for Abby ($30), American Doll for Maddie ($120) and a game for Gavin ($20). Guess with the $1500 I am supposed to pay rent ($600/mo), preschool ($100/mo), car insurance ($110/mo), gymnastics for all 3 kids ($120/mo). Needless to say Christmas is not the best this year. I asked him for money on the 15th and was told no. Whatever...last time this is gonna happen.

Oh and thank god for my dad cause I only have $70 to last me until the 1st.
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post #2 of 8
12/18/07 at 5:54pm
why do they do **** like that???
Meagan, I may be mistaken... I don't think I am though. As long as you don't remarry, and he doesn't either you should still be entitled to a portion of BAH even after the divorce. It won't be the whole amount, I believe it is called BAH2. Make sure that your lawyer is aware of all the military details because there are alot that are special to the military...
For example, were you married for more than 10 years of military service? if so you get half his retirement pay. Depending on how long you were married you may still be entitled to keep your Tricare benefits for you for no cost for a certain period of time (depends on how long you were married) and of course the kids are still covered by Tricare.
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post #3 of 8
12/18/07 at 6:34pm
i'm sorry he isn't holding up to his end of the bargin

sounds like some great tips from heather though!
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post #4 of 8
12/18/07 at 7:33pm
Meaghan I know exactly what you're going through. It's tough when they make promises and don't keep them. It;s tough being a single mom again and thinking about a new life. My experience has been a whirlwind of ups and downs and my best advice to you is at this time: It's very difficult for both of you during this transition period and happens to be Christmas! I went through my divorce around the same time frame my divorce was final in Feb 05. I have determined that during the holidays to let things go and re-address them after this special time for me and my children. This is what I suggest you do, I'm sure once the 2 of you adjust to you're new lives you will be able to compromise a little easier in regards to money and the children. Your emotions are running high and you need to table this, but certainly during this time come up with some intelligent smarter than him compromises so that you are the one that comes out shining even if it means sacrificing a little now to be able to hold your head high and be wise about your decision. You will respect yourself even more and he will have no choice to as well. In the end YOU will be able to say "I" did it! Not Court! Good luck!
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post #5 of 8
12/18/07 at 8:42pm
Ed promised me nothing. I had to fight in court for everything and still have to remind him all of the time he is court ordered to pay me or he will go to jail. Sometimes they are selfish and dont want to have to change their lifestyle. I hope you get it worked out soon.
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post #6 of 8
12/18/07 at 11:17pm
Thread Starter 
The kids know nothing of this...I keep them very sheltered from it. All the presents say from Mommy and Daddy.

We have nothing in writing as of yet. I have filed for legal separation and am waiting on the paper work still from the attorney. To be honest I am stretching it out as long as I can for the medical benefits for myself. I want to go back to school and be able to get a *good* job and not end up working fast food. I know about the 10 years married and we will be married 10 years in June...which is why I have filed only for legal separation and not divorce. I did not know about the BAH2 or the Tri-care for me after the divorce and I will look into that. Finding someone around here that knows anything about the military with divorce is about impossible.

The terms of the separation will be something along the lines of he pays me the BAH which right now is $1025 (goes up next month though) plus what ever the Indiana guidelines for child support are...think I figured it at around $1000. There are a few other things but none of this is official until it is signed by a judge.
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post #7 of 8
12/19/07 at 3:50am
http://www.divorcenet.com/military
http://www.militarydivorceonline.com/national_laws.html
these are just a few informations sites friends have used. Maybe your lawyer there can consult with a lawyer who specializese in military divorce?
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post #8 of 8
1/2/08 at 11:33pm
Meagan, also, you need to look into it and see if you can use a JAG attorney for your divorce. That way, he/she will know all this military stuff. I know a friend of mine got divorced from her Army husband about twelve years ago, and she used a JAG attorney and he took good care of her and her son. She didn't have to pay for the attorney or anything. Just filing fees, which her ex had to split with her.
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