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How many kids do u think are enough to have?

Poll Results: how many kids do you think are enough?

 
  • 0% (0)
    1
  • 44% (4)
    2
  • 22% (2)
    3
  • 33% (3)
    4+
9 Total Votes  
post #1 of 17
3/1/08 at 7:04am
Thread Starter 
Okay question how many kids do u think are enough to have whats your number?
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post #2 of 17
3/1/08 at 8:30am
Wow... I can't pick a specific number. I think the right number of kids really varies from family to family. I have three now, and for the moment we are done. We both want more kids, but financially can't afford more right now. I also don't want any more while we risk the constant deployments.
I think that as long as you can afford the basics for your kids (housing, food, clothing etc...) that it's great to have as many kids as you want.
For some people one kid is more than enough.... so I didn't answer your poll.
Right now three is the right number for us, some day down the road it may not be.
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post #3 of 17
3/1/08 at 11:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liz109
It depends on the family. For some, they shouldn't have any (admit it, we've all met those couples!) and for some it's 15!

As long as you can feed, house and raise your children and they're taken care of, the actual # can endless. Not to say that if you have $$ you should have kids, but if you homeless you should think before popping out your 5th child KWIM?

Exactly.

I only have 2 b/c of health reasons. Personally, I interpreted losing #3 as a sign that it might not be healthy for me or the baby ~~ however, that's my personal decision.
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post #4 of 17
3/1/08 at 1:11pm
I totally agree with Liz. Can you provide for the children you want or have? I have never understood people that have kids and just say "we'll be fine". I could never live like that. We have 3 and are working on adopting #4. But we wouldn't even consider it if we didn't have the means. But I agree it is a personal decision and it's different for everyone.
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post #5 of 17
3/2/08 at 2:14am
Thread Starter 

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

I Couldnt have said it any better than that because i know one girl she has 5 kids all back to back from all different daddies and now she wants a 6th baby cant feed the ones she has everyone else is raising them she doesnt work or want to she isnt even sure on the 5 kids fathers and yet refuses to stop having kids she lives in a homeless shelter with them all and with her welfare money she buys stuff for herself not them and when we used to be friends she used to bring the kids to my house and i used to have to be forced to feed her 4 at the time plus my 4 kids and bath them etc while she left me with them for days...
So people like that in my opinion I dont think should have any kids PERIOD.
But,as for me I am going on my 5th kid and my kids have clothes on their backs,food in their bellys,bathed daily,and a roof over their head i mean i am not donald trump here but they are very well taken care of my question is this how many do you think I should consider or not? Just here me out and base an opinion from there thanks guys...My first 4 kids are all by my ex i was with for 7yrs I left him because he had a hand problem and he used to hit me in front of the kids and while i was pregnant so i got fed up and left him alone for good then i met a wonderful man who loved me and my kids and accepted us all as a "whole" and we got married now i am having a baby with him mind you that this is biologically his 1st child so my question is do you guys think that i should give him another child after this one? or what? because my kids godmother says its not fair that i gave that loser 4 kids and all i will give my hubby is 1 baby i mean we discussed more kids and he want 4 of his own but i honastly think my body only has one more baby left after this to have because having kids does put extra stress on the body and he does for my 4 kids so i am not worried about that but i just cant decide whats right or shall i say whats fair or not fair.
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post #6 of 17
3/2/08 at 10:11am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

I'm with Liz.... Wait and see how things go with the one you are currently carrying. I thought through my whole pregnancy with Karah that I wanted another one fairly quickly.

Then I had her, and I love her dearly but I can't handle any more right now. Does this mean we are done forever, no probobaly not. It means that right now Three is all I can handle. Down the road if the day comes where I can handle and or want more I will have more.

You shouldn't have more kids than you are comfortable with, especially not to make things "fair" for some man. Think about it this way... he's a wonderful man. You now have 5 kids (or will once this baby comes)... You really feel that you are done. But... you decide to have more to make things fair. Now you have 7 or 8 kids. Right after #8 is concieved, he dies (the man). Now you have 3 more kids than you really wanted or felt you could handle because you were trying to be fair, and you are alone taking care of them.

Now hopefully that doesn't hapen, but it's your body and your life. If you have this baby and YOU want and can handle more, have more. If you have this baby and you feel like your done, he will adjust.
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post #7 of 17
3/4/08 at 1:19am
Thread Starter 

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liz109
First off, life isn't fair. Sorry, but it isn't. I don't think you should base your decision on "fairness" for two grown men. Especially if the man you're with treats you so well. He should understand. If he doesn't understand that--he definately doesn't deserve to father any more children.
.

Well,liz he does understand very much so that much I can say.
and lil bit you brough up a very good point didnt even look at it that way if god forbid something happens to him very true and in all honasty i never had the chance to really enjoy my other children being i had them all so close in age my older two are exactly 14mths apart and my 2nd child and the twins are 16mths apart....so i wanted a chance at least to enjoy this baby then consider another one because my husband even said that if i wanted we could wait a few years before having another one but im scared because by then i will be 30 years old ( in 3 yrs) and i am nervous because i dont want to go through the amniosintesis....seems scary!!! But in all honasty if i decided to have another after this one I wanted to get my tubes tied but i was told that i would need my husbands consent does anyone know if thats true??
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post #8 of 17
3/4/08 at 1:45am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

I agree with Liz on both points--regarding how many kids are enough and regarding life not being fair.
When my husband had his vasectomy, I had to go with him to the consult and tell the doctor I was okay with it. I don't know about getting your tubes tied.
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post #9 of 17
3/4/08 at 9:46am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

hmm.... I have no idea if that's true or not. Personally I don't think it should be the case, your body, your decision. THe only advice on that one is to ask your Doctor if it's true.
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post #10 of 17
3/4/08 at 4:39pm

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSNVYD
. . . because my husband even said that if i wanted we could wait a few years before having another one but im scared because by then i will be 30 years old ( in 3 yrs) and i am nervous because i dont want to go through the amniosintesis....seems scary!!!
To ease your mind a little, amniocentesis is optional and not, unless you've had problems and are high risk, something that is even suggested until you're 35 or over. So 35 is the magical age to be automatically considered high risk and when all the extra stuff is suggested. But it's all optional and with all the other options today, not something that's as necessary as it once was. And I know because my last was considered high risk solely because I was 35 and I did not have an amniocentesis done.

I have no idea if you have to get your DH's consent to have your tubes tied. When the procedure was offered to me (didn't have it done), they didn't say anything about DH having to agree to it.
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post #11 of 17
4/11/08 at 12:06am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

At first I never wanted kids. Now I can't wait to get pregnant with my first. My SO and I are settled on 3 for now, but we will see how it all goes. I may want more than 3. hehe.
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post #12 of 17
4/11/08 at 12:56am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

If you can provide for more children, your health is good, and you have the time, then I don't see the problem having more. No one can tell you when to be done. You will know.
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post #13 of 17
4/11/08 at 3:24am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

Nothing I can add that the other ladies haven't already said. As Tara said, you will know when you are done.

As for the consent thing, I do believe it is different for each state. Here in TX you do not HAVE to have your spouses consent for a vesectomy, but it is recommended. But you do for having your tubes tied.
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post #14 of 17
4/11/08 at 11:18am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

I think it's a personal decision. I think if you want them and you can take care of them emotionally and physically and financially, then it's nobody else's business how many kids you have.

I think some people shouldn't have kids. And I know people that would be awesome parents, but can't have kids. I have a problem with people who have 8 kids and expect somebody else to support them. But f you want them and you can take care of them, have as may as you want. I don't think there is a perfect number.
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post #15 of 17
4/15/08 at 12:33am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

I agree. There are some people in this world who just should not have kids. For example. My father's ex-girlfriend. She had this little boy who was absolutely beautiful. He was such a cutie. This woman, as soon as he woke up would put him in his carseat/carrier and leave him in front of the t.v for hours, only picking him up out of his carrier long enough to feed him (sometimes he was left alone with a bottle while still in the carrier) or change his diaper. She would not carry him around or talk to him. I would repeatedly ask if I could hold him or play with him just to get him out of that carrier, but she would just say "No, leave him where he is. If you take him out of the carrier, he'll just start crying. He likes watching t.v." Oh and if he was crying and she had already fed him and changed his diaper, she just blasted country music to drown out his crys. She said it "soothed" him.
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post #16 of 17
4/23/08 at 2:37am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

hehe can't pick a number. i think it really bases off who you are. i probaly wont have more than 2-3 tops. i think as long as you can take care of the financially and have the love and the time for more kids, then go for it!
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post #17 of 17
5/5/08 at 6:40am

Re: How many kids do u think are enough to have?

They didn't ask my dh when I had mine done. They did ask me a gazillion times and I had a lot of paperwork to sign. I could have backed out the day of my surgery (I had it done with my c-section.) , but I didn't. It is very freeing not having to worry about pregnancy anymore. The dang periods are annoying though.
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