If you believe in God...

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I grew up in church... At the age of 12 I joined a youth group at our local church. I was there 3 times a week for service as well as attending various youth activities through the month. I enjoyed it and felt very much at home with these people and in this church. At the age of 17 I got pregnant with Haley and was asked not to attend the youth group's ministries or any activities anymore. By that age my mom had given me the choice of attending or not and I chose not to return to the church at all. These people I had grown up with and that had taught me unconditional love turned their backs on me. I was completely turned off by Christianity in general for a long time. After a few years I had regained a strong relationship with God but had difficulty finding or fitting in to any church. As a young mother I couldn't find my place... I didn't fit in with the young singles of my age group and didn't fit in with the marriedw-with-children group either as they were usually 10 years older than me.
I've attended a few churches here and there since moving to Ohio but work weekends and have a hard time finding the motivation to search out a church on the days I do have when I don't know anyone or where to start.

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Elaine, that is terrible, and I am so sorry that happened to you. When I hear stories like this, it really chaps my rear! I mean, come on, how UN Christian can these people be? For the record, our church is not like that. We actually have a very active member who is a single mom, and she attended our church before she was pregnant, during her pregnancy, and still attends and is actively involved now that she has had her daughter. It's not that our church thinks that it's RIGHT to have premarital sex, but we do know that sin is sin and we all do it and we love each other anyway because that is what we are supposed to do. I hope that you find another church in Ohio and that you find the right fit and people. I agree with Cheryl about church attendance. It doesn't mean you have no problems, but it does mean that you have people to support you through them.

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This is a good question Cheryl. I am a bit lost in my beliefs right now, i see the strength that people can have with a strong belief in God and Christianity. I don't understand it. although i would like to.. I have never attended a sunday sermon for church. to me the bible has always just been fact and a story that i enjoy reading.

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience Elaine.

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Andrea, maybe you should read some books and maybe that will help with your beliefs and give you some insight into Christianity? I also think finding a good church and attending services really helps.

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Tammy, as far as Elaine's experience, I think they still would have allowed her to attend church, but because she was a teenager and pregnant, I think maybe they were leary about having her participate in the youth program. Am I right Elaine? Personally, I don't see anything horrible with that decision, I may make a different one, but I can see why they asked her not to.

Anyway, I also go every week, I find it comforting to be at mass. I am curious to read other people's thoughts though.

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To be truthful, I have not found a church yet that I have liked since I moved to Illinois. I find too many people that are rude, catty and have that "holier-than-thou" attitude -- like they never do anything wrong. Whatever. It's supposed to be about praising God, not thinking you are better than someone else, right?

I was raised Catholic and no longer practice b/c of the hypocrisy that I saw in my upbringing/church. No offense to anyone else, but that's MY feeling.

At any rate, we are actually looking into starting back here soon going to the Methodist church this spring - for the kids. Hopefully Lauren and Ryan do well... I think they have a nursery. Hopefully the people will be more "human" so we could join a church. However, it is hard to attend, seeing that I have a 24/7/365 job that requires me to work every 3rd weekend. We will see what happens. I have my own personal beliefs and I don't need to go to church to praise God.

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Right Dana... I was only asked to leave the Youth Group. I could have continued attending the church itself if I had wanted to.

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I figured that, if I implied that I thought she was asked to leave the church, I didn't mean to. My point is that, Lindsay, the girl who has the baby at our church, was not asked to change anything about her attendance. She is very actively involved in volunteering with the youth of our church, which she was before her pregnancy. Being pregnant and having a baby didn't change any of that. Our church leaders did not ask her to change anything about her service to the church or her attendance. They just kept on embracing her and welcoming her, which is the right thing to do. I do not think it was right for that church to tell you to stop attending the youth group. Not trying to get into a debate, but I just feel strongly that if you can't be embraced at church when you backslide, where can you turn? To me, that's what church is for, a place to go when you need that support and a place to go when you have praise to give, no matter what is going on in your life, you should be welcome there, in the calm and in the storm, even if you brought the storm on yourself.

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Also, I was going to say that our church is interdenominational, which I think helps. For example, we are not beholden to the Southern Baptist Association, which tends to be super legalistic and ultra, ultra conservative. No offense to anyone who is a Southern Baptist! My daughter has been attending preschool at a Methodist church, and I have found the people there to be fabulous, sweet, supportive, God loving people. I would definitely consider attending a Methodist Church.

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Oh no Tammy, I didn't think you were implying otherwise. I was just answering Dana's question. While I can see that there would have been safety issues with me participating in our monthly broom hockey events, I don't see what harm it would have done to continue fellowshipping with my friends in my age group... I almost got the feeling that they didn't want me rubbing off on any of the good kids. I've come to terms with it all though and I really do wish that I could find a church that I felt comfortable in again.

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We are bad for not going to church. The kids are part of why. Liz loves to go, but Nick is a real handful....and if we go to church, Jerry does not come with us as its not "his thing".....we go in spurts though...and while we have missed a couple of weeks here and there we have gone to church mor ein the last 6 months than in the last 5 years

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We go to church 95% of the time. The only times we miss it is when Kev is gone because it is too hard for me to take the 3 little ones by myself. (there is no nursery - I got looks like I had 3 heads when I asked about it)
The only other time I miss (Kev will still go Sunday am - he's not into flea markets - I go with my dad/mom) is when I go to Flea markets in the summer because I work Sat night and we leave by 6am on Sundays.

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Cheryl, this is a good question. And one I just answered to my MIL.

I was raised Catholic (mom went to Catholic school and my Dad studied to be a priest!), but my mom allowed me to go to any church I wanted with family and friends. I went to Catholic, Episcopalian, Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist and even attended a synagogue once or twice with Jewish friends.

My problem is that there are certain things that I strongly believe in and most churchs feel differently. For instance, I support homosexual unions (or marriage). I HIGHLY believe in divorce (even more so after I got divorced myself). I believe that abortion is an individual choice and women should have that right. I believe that males and females alike are both fit to lead a congregation. These are just a few of the "bigger" issues. With the exception of the last one, there are very few churches that teach what I believe. In fact, I have never found one. I think it would be hypocritical of me to join a church where my personal beliefs contrast so sharply with those of the church I was attending.

My other big reason is, I don't necessarily believe in organized religion as a whole. I don't find it necessary to meet with others in building just to have a relationship with God. I DO have a relationship with God and it works for me. Now I realize that many people enjoy the fellowship they gain from being part a group that shares their beliefs (my mom for example says going just makes her "feel better"), but that doesn't work for me. But if it works for others, then that is what they should do. I just don't find it comforting - in fact most of the time I find it confining.

I have raised my kids to believe in God and we have all read the Bible together and talked about it. Right now Ally has been going to church with my MIL and my SIL and her kids pretty regularly and that is fine with me. Recently Drew asked if he could go and I said sure! When he asked why I don't go, I gave him the reasons I already stated. I encourage them to go and be active if they so wish. I will happily drive them to and from church and any activities connected to it. It will be up to them to decide when they are adults if they wish to continue.

I really do think that it all comes down to individual preferences. There is not right or wrong way to worship God. All he asks is that you believe and I do.

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I thought the same thing, Cheryl!

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Brenda, I think you have to do what you have to do. I see your point. I think the problem is that so many people have visited churches or have met people who attend these churches that are not really doing their job.
I mean, our pastor says this, "We are going to focus on the 95% of the Bible that everyone agress on, and leave the part that everyone doesn't agree on to the others to argue about." I have never heard my pastor preach about homosexuality, about abortion, or about divorce. I have heard him say that God knows that divorce is painful, but He (God) doesn't hate anyone for getting divorced. Many people in our church are divorced, have gone through divorces since joining, or are divorced and remarried. My husband is one of those people. No one there that we know or care about (our pastor included) judges for that, and I am thankful for it. I am sure if I went to my pastor and asked his beliefs about homosexuals or about abortion, he would share those with me, though I am pretty sure I know what his beliefs are, and I don't think that he has some burning dislike of gay people . He just doesn't preach about it. I have my opinions about both of those things, and I don't know or care if they are the same as what my pastor believes or what other Christians believe. My home fellowship group knows my feelings about both, and we are all okay with it, though we don't all agree. See, that's what I mean, you love each other in spite of differences, that's what it is supposed to be about, not judging. When my mom died, my Uncle Cal was one of her pall bearers. He was my dad's brother's partner for about 20 years and nursed him through a terrible death. I love that man dearly, and everyone who knows me knows how we are "related," even my friends from church, and everyone was kind to him and no one questioned it or said a word, even the other pallbearer who goes to my church and who is opposed to homosexuality. He thinks it's wrong, but wouldn't say a word because he also believe you dislike the sin but love the sinner. Sorry, didn't mean to hijack this thread.

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Honestly NONE of the churches I've ever attended had nurseries.
I grew up Catholic and there was no nursery but they ad a section at the back of the church that was sound proofed? for families with little ones so they wouldn't disrupt service.

Now we are WELS and I've been to 3 different ones and none of them have nurseries. We just bring them to service and if they get unroolie we take them out. I'd say maybe 1x a month a parent takes a child out. We've had to on occasion but it's nothing major. (Most of the time Kev takes them out - he has some magical powers that when they come back they are little angels )

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I think that if more Christians and churches tried to be Christ-like, Christianity would appeal to more people. No one generally has a problem with Christ, just with his followers.

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Exactly, Pam! Well said. That's what breaks my heart. I think my church tries to do this, though we are not perfect. And we are just one church of many, many of which are not doing what you said so well.

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I believe in a higher power, but I do not believe in organised religion mostly bc of the horrendous things done "in the Lord's name" whether "The Lord's name" is God, Allah, Jehovah or whatever else people choose to call Them. Half the time they supposedly believe in the same God but will argue literally to the death over the way God wants them to worship him. Personally I don't think The Higher Powers want anyone to kill someone else and then think they have done some glorious thing that made God proud.

I'm also of the same mind about homosexual relationships, abortion and divorce as Brenda.

I have been to a church service exactly once in my life, I had been to the funerals of 4 close friends and a fiancce in 2 years and just once I wanted to go to church for something other than a funeral. The pastor was nice as was his wife but, possibly because I was completely unfamilar with the hymns and the service, I was not comfortable.

My children have always had the option of going to church and my eldest went to the Church of the Latter Day Saints for 2 years before he was baptised into the church. He left the church about 3 years later but I think it did him good and he had a group of wonderful peers thru a difficult time in his life.

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If that's the way it really was, then I wouldn't have problems with it. But in evitably, someone at some time will start a discussion about these issues and when I voice my opinions (which of course differ from most), I get not only strange looks but have even on occasion been told that I am going to he!! becasue of my beliefs. Now, I knoe this is the exception and not the norm - most people just agree to disagree and we go on from there. But my last few experiences have shown me that there will always be those who feel they need to "force" their opinions down my throat, tell me how wrong I am, try to "convert" me, etc. Frankly, I got tired of listening to it.

Cheryl, thank you for saying that! I agree that it's important for the kids to form their own opinions. As I told Drew, he can't form an opinion until he has explored all the options and figured it out in his own mind. He seems to be more like me (believes in God, but not church as a whole), while Ally thrives on the fellowship she gets at church. In fact, she just called me from MIL's to tell me about the kids service today! I love that she gets so excited about it and I hope that continues for her.

God loves me and I love God - that's all I really need.

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Brenda, I am sorry it's not like that anywhere you have been. As I said, there are people like you mentioned in my church, but I don't let them get to me. And by the way, don't let anyone tell you that you are going to hell. No one here on Earth makes that determination, no matter how big of a Christian they think they are! People like that really get to me.

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I beleive in God and feel I dont have to go to church every sunday to show that I do.

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I agree with Brenda and Jenn. The *few* times that I have gone, I got hit with a "we need MONEY!!" sermon and it just totally turned me off !

Additionally, Sunday is the only day Jack has off.