Life has never been easy with Haley but things are just going downhill the older she gets. I'll start with the basics and then go in to the more serious situations we have faced in the last few days.
She continues to have issues getting homework done. Some evenings she will sit for HOURS getting everything done (I'll check it) and still manages to misplace it by the time she needs to turn it in to her teacher. I've tried helping her get organized and stick to a plan so she'll always know where her work is, but it isn't working. She does not seem school as a priority at all right now.
The fighting at home is getting worse. She screams and hits the other kids (mostly Zach) and is mouthier than ever... she's even gotten to the point of talking back to her babysitter. It's not just talking back either... there is that attitude behind it that sends it over the top.
Two days ago I let Haley spend the day with her best friend (it was a teacher work day) while I was at work. I knew the girls planned to go to the library but that was it. Driving home from work at around 7pm, I passed by a group of kids hanging out in a parking lot and noticed one of them was my daughter. I swung the car around and called her over to the car. She was wearing a miniskirt, had stuffed her bra to a ridiculous size, and had tons of black make-up around her eyes. I ordered her in to the car and let her have it. Of course she felt like a victim and swore she didn't understand why I was mad because she was only 2 blocks from her friend's house. She also said I'm horribly mean for not letting her wear make-up the way she wants to and even cried when I told her it looked ridiculous... this was the first time I had said it so harshly as other times I tried to be gentle and tell her that until she was older and could properly apply make-up she needed to keep it minimal. She has lost the priviledge of going anywhere but the babysitter's house and has to okay her clothes and face with me before leaving the house. She thinks this is extremely harsh punishment when in reality I should have taken a belt to her butt and grounded her for life.
Then a few weeks ago while at the mall Haley asked if she could get another hole in her ears. I told her that I didn't have the money for it and if she really wanted it done, we could pierce them at home... meaning that I have a starter set and would do it for her. Yesterday I came home and she kept putting her hands up to her ears and obviously hiding something. When I finally said something, she admitted to having tried to pierce her own ears with a safety pin! When I told her how dangerous that is she looked right at me and twisted my words into my having told her she could do it.
I don't know what to do anymore. Her behavior embarrasses me and the fact that she always plays the innocent victim in it drives me mad. I'm beyond thinking I can reason with her or make her understand the image she is making for herself and the dangers she puts herself in, and instead just have to play dictator and make all her decisions for her.
She continues to have issues getting homework done. Some evenings she will sit for HOURS getting everything done (I'll check it) and still manages to misplace it by the time she needs to turn it in to her teacher. I've tried helping her get organized and stick to a plan so she'll always know where her work is, but it isn't working. She does not seem school as a priority at all right now.
The fighting at home is getting worse. She screams and hits the other kids (mostly Zach) and is mouthier than ever... she's even gotten to the point of talking back to her babysitter. It's not just talking back either... there is that attitude behind it that sends it over the top.
Two days ago I let Haley spend the day with her best friend (it was a teacher work day) while I was at work. I knew the girls planned to go to the library but that was it. Driving home from work at around 7pm, I passed by a group of kids hanging out in a parking lot and noticed one of them was my daughter. I swung the car around and called her over to the car. She was wearing a miniskirt, had stuffed her bra to a ridiculous size, and had tons of black make-up around her eyes. I ordered her in to the car and let her have it. Of course she felt like a victim and swore she didn't understand why I was mad because she was only 2 blocks from her friend's house. She also said I'm horribly mean for not letting her wear make-up the way she wants to and even cried when I told her it looked ridiculous... this was the first time I had said it so harshly as other times I tried to be gentle and tell her that until she was older and could properly apply make-up she needed to keep it minimal. She has lost the priviledge of going anywhere but the babysitter's house and has to okay her clothes and face with me before leaving the house. She thinks this is extremely harsh punishment when in reality I should have taken a belt to her butt and grounded her for life.
Then a few weeks ago while at the mall Haley asked if she could get another hole in her ears. I told her that I didn't have the money for it and if she really wanted it done, we could pierce them at home... meaning that I have a starter set and would do it for her. Yesterday I came home and she kept putting her hands up to her ears and obviously hiding something. When I finally said something, she admitted to having tried to pierce her own ears with a safety pin! When I told her how dangerous that is she looked right at me and twisted my words into my having told her she could do it.
I don't know what to do anymore. Her behavior embarrasses me and the fact that she always plays the innocent victim in it drives me mad. I'm beyond thinking I can reason with her or make her understand the image she is making for herself and the dangers she puts herself in, and instead just have to play dictator and make all her decisions for her.
FWIW, I think you're doing the right things.
hopefully I will have a few years before dealing with it.
Not all the time though. I hate to say it, but if the make up and clothes problems keep up, you may have to get rid of or lock the offending items in your trunk.
Genie!!!* Where have you been, but thanks for the wisdom.* You choose your battles hey?
