It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

They kept playing parts of this on the radio. Kept saying it was fascinating....

What is so fascinating? A woman who was physically altered to become a man is pregnant.... They did not take out her reproductive system, which means technically she is still a woman. Women get pregnant every day!

Now if he was born a man, had all man parts, and got pregnant .... that would be fascinating!!! I think kids have enough to deal with growing up, much less having to add the fact that this child is born to a "man".

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

i agree with Jennifer, i was interested in this story until i discovered it wasn't actually a 'man' carrying a baby. all power to them to have a happy an healthy baby

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I think it is totally wrong. It isn't natural even if he/she or whatever you want to call this person has female parts. I wonder if they will ever tell the child that he/she gave birth to it or if they'll just let them think the real woman gave birth to the child.

Some people in this world are so messed up.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

My question is why the real woman in the relationship didn't just have the baby???

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I read about this in People, and the woman in the couple is in her 40's and has had a hysterectomy.
They interviewed a psychologist regarding this, and what he said makes sense--there is a real issue with a woman who wants to become a man, but wishes to keep her female organs. Do you want to be a man or a woman? Which one? Pick one!
The psychologist said he would have lots of questions about this person's mental state given those two factors.
I agree with Cheryl on this one. It's really messed up.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I agree it seems pretty messed up. I read THIS STORY about the Oprah show and the person said they kept their reproductive organs because they wanted to one day have a child. And they went on to say that being pregnant did not define who they were nor make them feminine. What?!?! Women have children, not men. So if they want to be a man, be one and do what most would do in this situation - adopt. Or at least call yourself a woman during pregnancy and stop trying to sensationalize that you're giving birth as a man.

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I agree with that too. I think it's as much about sensationalism and publicity as anything else. If they just wanted to be normal, they would not be advertising this. They would stay out of the public eye, and would not be doing interviews with Oprah and People. Well, if they wanted to be normal as possible or whatever.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I am vaguely aware of the story and don't really have much interest in the story, it is nice tho that one of them can have the baby they want as the ''woman'' in the relationship has had to have a hysterectomy at some stage.

The reason the majority of female to male transgender reassignments choose not to have male parts ''made'' is that the technology has not kept up with the rest of the process and the results are verry disappointing. They choose not to replace functioning parts for very poor nonfunctioning replacements.

I do however agree that if they simply wanted a child the publicity is inappropriate, however who went to the press first? Did they? Or did some person who happens to know them (neighbour, shop assistant, dr's receptionist, etc) sell the story to the media and they are now making the best of it and attempting 'damage control" by being open and honest about the situation.

I only heard something on the radio in passing about the whole "pregnant man - who isn't a man" but I would be interested in just who bought the situation to the media's attention. After all if they simply wanted a child to love I'm sure they would have been more discrete about the publicity that will haunt them and their child for years to come.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I think it's wrong and disgusting...the he/she should be strung by his/her toes!

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

If they wanted a child to have a family, there would be no problem.

However, all of the sensationalism and publicity around it makes it more of a circus than a family thing. If you want to be an "attention seeker", fine.... everyone has to be something. BUT LEAVE THE BABY OUT OF IT.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Since I have a lot of transgendered friends, I know a little about this subject. The reason many transgendered men (aka female to male transgender) do not choose to have their reproductive organs taken out is because it is a very expensive surgery and many see it as an unneeded surgery. Outwardly they appear male, and for some that is what matters. Some choose to have their eggs harvested but do not carry the child. This man is indeed an exception to the rule.

And yes, I do refer to him as a him, as that is what he is. Just because he has female parts doesn't define him as a female. Female to male sex reassignment is a very long, drawn out, and expensive journey. A mastectomy alone is $7000 + and taking out the uterus and the ovaries can be upwards of 20-30k. Some people just don't have that kind of money on a surgery that gets rid of something everyday people don't see anyway. I have one friend that is choosing to go through ALL of it. Its just different for everyone.

I say more power to them that they are doing this. I really wish they would have stayed out of the publicity of it all and just went about their daily lives but whatever they want to do is their business.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Really? What does define a person as male or female? I mean, when we have kids, they look at the parts, and based on those, they tell us whether we have a girl or a boy. We can CALL ourselves anything we want. I can say I am a Queen, but that doesn't really make me one, does it? I mean, to me, the biology is undeniable, and gender is not merely a state of mind.

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I've been hanging around this site for a little while, saw this thread, and just had to register and reply.

It's all about labels.

When the doctor (or whomever happens to be delivering the baby), yes they are labeled as one sex or the other according to this gender binary system of society. What makes a person male or female is their brain chemistry, how they feel, how they present themselves, and how they are perceived by others. Some feel that they do not belong to the sex assigned them at birth and take measures to change how they present themselves. Others may feel that they don't belong to either gender and put themselves in a sort of limbo of androgyny. It's more than just "I want to be a boy". These men get depressed when someone calls them "she", "ma'am", or any pet names people tack on (especially in the south) like "sweetie" and "honey". Some even commit suicide, especially if they cannot take measures to change themselves.

Simply put, the body God put them in does not fit who they are.

His mind is male, and that alone makes him male. I'm still not sure why he's okay with the whole pregnancy thing, but it's his deal. Just because he didn't / couldn't have a hysterectomy / oophorectomy doesn't mean anything when it comes to the subject of male vs. female.

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No, it is not a want. It is a need. One of my very close friends is transgendered. Female parts do not make you female. Gender and sex are very different. Sex is the biological label given to you due to your "parts". Gender is kind of like the sex of your mind. I refuse to call any transgendered person by the sex they were given.

One is not created male or female. There is a wide spectrum of gender and everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum. You have feminine females, masculine females, transgendered females, masculine males, feminine males, transgendered males, and then there are those who are somewhere between. I have one friend who is in between. I refer to my friend as ze, which is the term used for a bi-gendered or no-gendered person.

Unless you've actually met a transgendered person or lived the life of one, you cannot fully understand or fully accept who they are as people. Its hard for people to wrap their minds around something that is so off from the gender/sex system we have today. Girls are meant to be feminine and boys are meant to be masculine. I refuse to conform with that kind of system. The world is not black and white and the human race is not made up of just feminine girls and masculine boys. There is a diverse range that some people can't seem to grasp.

If anyone would like any more information on transgenderism please let me know. Because I have so many friends who are transgendered, I have done a lot of research and know a lot about what they go through.

Oh and being gay is not a choice, just so you know. Only straight people seem to think its a choice but when you actually talk to a gay person, they will let you know its definatly not a choice. Funny that. I know because I'm gay.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Well, first of all, NO, God didn't. I disagree. This person might FEEL that God did this, but I do not believe God makes mistakes.
Second of all, I have heard all that you have written before, there is nothing new about any of it, and I still don't agree. The biology is what makes someone male or female. I understand people feel this way, but life is about more than what we FEEL.
I have a family member who is transgendered. He wrote a book about it. He described feeling the same things. However, that doesn't mean that I think he was born a female in a male's body. I think he felt that way, but in truth, he was born a man. He became a woman surgically and is now a woman, but was he a woman to begin with? No. Just because he felt it in his mind doesn't make it so.
This is no stronger an argument than if I said, In my mind I am President of the United States, and that alone makes it true. Or in my mind, I am a surgeon, and that alone makes it true. It's more than what we think in our own minds or than what we feel.
I agree with Liz,

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I hope that you don't think all straight people think this. I do not believe being gay is a choice. I have many, many gay friends, and my dad's twin brother was gay (he passed away six years ago). I do not believe they chose this.
However, I disagree about the transgendered stuff. I have a family member who is transgendered. Changing his sex was his choice. I get that he FELT a certain way, but to me that does not make it a fact that he was born a woman in a man's body. I have sympathy/empathy, etc for people who feel this way, it must be a terrible feeling, but it does not change the fact that I do not believe that they are physically something they are not. And it doesn't mean that changing one's gender physically is a need. Based on what you and Inanutshell have said, one's physical state doesn't determine whether they are male or female. It's how they feel and what is in their minds. If it's all determined by what is in a person's mind and what they FEEL, and if the parts don't dictate whether a person is a male or a female, then why EVER get a sex change in the first place?

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Yes, changing your biological sex is a choice, however your gender is not your choice. I do not believe God makes mistakes either. I believe that my friends were supposed to be born into the bodies they were given, but they have the choice to change it if they wish. Yes, my friends were born female, but they are only female biologically. There is a big difference in your biology and your spiritual, mental, and psychological self. Its not that they just feel like they are male or female. They ARE male or female. Its just that the biological sex and gender don't match up. They have actually done studies that show that a transgendered male's brain is more closely matched with that of a biological male than a biological female even before having hormone therapy.

And I would love to know who your family member is so I can go read her book. If the book has been published than I should have no problem finding it since I work in a bookstore.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Happy you joined and shared your comment with us! Just wanted to say Hello, and welcome to BabyU.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Her book was printed in the 1980's. I was somewhere between 12 and 15 when I read it, and I am pretty sure it was something she wrote and paid to have published/printed. I saw the copy my mom had when we helped her move 7 years ago, but now I don't know what happened to it. (My mom passed away last year.) This relative is my father's cousin--here's how it works. My greatgrandmother had two sons (one of which was my grandfather), and then was widowed at a young age. She got remarried to a man who was widowed and had some children. Then they had several more children together. So they had hers, his, and theirs, biologically speaking, but all of the kids referred to my g-grandmother as Mom and to her husband as Dad. Phoebe was the son of one of these kids (but not my g-father or his biological brother). I THINK her last name is Smith, but I could be wrong. In all, there were about 14 brothers and sisters, so I can't remember who goes with whom, and everyone in my dad's immediate family is gone. I have no idea what the title of her book is or anything, but when I talk to my uncle Cal (my dad's twin brother's partner), I will ask him if he remembers.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I find the entire situation strange. If you want to be a man than why go and get pregnant? Is it not the ultimate statement of femininity? I don't suppose my opinion matters much to them though...

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I don't think it has to do with the fact that pregnancy is feminine and he is a man. I think it all boils down to the fact they want a biological child (some people prefer biological children) and this was the only way to do it. While the trans community is not very pleased that he took this public, I can't find anything wrong with the situation, but I do hope that they do not lie to the child. I can't stand anyone to lie to a child just so everything appears "normal".

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Let's not forget one thing... regardless of what this person now is, the fact of the matter is, this is a child who is going to grow up with so many stigmas because of all this. It will be well documented on who this child is, and unfortunately, it will be the child who will pay in regards to society and acceptance. God, I can't even imagine what school will be like for this kid.

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Slowly but surely, society is beginning to accept transgendered individuals. There is already the case of a young girl (male to female transgendered) who has decided to begin her transition at an early age. (Yes there are very very young transgendered individuals, some as young as 5 years old.) The school she attends is being very accommodating. They are allowing her to use unisex bathrooms so she will not be forced to use the mens (she still has male "parts") bathroom and they will address her as her and she and call her by her preferred name.

So society is making progress, if only slowly. This child may be teased, yes. But because of the family he/she comes from, the child will already be more accepting of trans individuals due to her father (the transgendered man).

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I don't agree with that at all. Children are mean, and normal teasing is hurtful. Can you even imagine the things that will/can be said? The child might be more accepting, but other children are not, and neither are some of their parents. Parents can be just as mean. I don't care how much progress society has made. This child will get way more than "teasing".

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Jennifer, I agree with you. I think SOME people will keep an open mind, but it is naive to think that society as a whole is going to embrace this child and the way he/she was brought into the world. No, not everyone will do this, but it will happen.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Ahhh! But legally HE is a man because he DID have the sex change operation. Removal of the birth genetalia is not required in a woman to man gender operation. In fact, it is better for the "person" to help keep some of the hormone levels where they need to be. It requires less medication on the part of the patient.

Personally I don't see a problem with it. If he and his wife are both happy about it, then I say go for it. And they are not the ones that leaked this to the media. I read that when they were searching for an OB, one of THEM leaked it. Then they had to hire a public relation firm to handle all the media. Of course this could be wrong, but that is what I read.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

Well then, what would you call him? He has both male and female parts. Does that make him a hermaphrodite? No, because by definition they only have 1 set of genetalia (usually male).

I still say, if they are happy, then let it be. I fail to see what the problem is. It's not like it directly affects us in any way.

Re: It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah

I must say that you said it better than I could have. I sit here and wonder what kind of world my children are growing up in.

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I would call him a female because he is still a female. He was born a female and has retained those parts. I never said I had a problem with it. I think that there is a concern in that this woman wants to be a man but then wants to be female enough to conceive and carry a baby. Seems a little ambivalent to me.